~ Child in time
The emotional scars of abused children
often have greatest impact on their lives

PICTURE A child, a very
quiet child,-a child covered

with bruises. He seems lost. |

His eyes depict hurt.

What has- happened?- What's
wrong? -Did he just fali down?
Maybe he just hurt himself play-
ing a game. Has he just been
punished? Is he simply one of
“those children who can’t behave?

People tend to justify a situa-
tion, refusing to look at the dark
side of zeality. People often see
only what they want to see. Child
abuse .
people tend to ignore or cverlock.

Abused children are not going
to go .up to someone and ask for
help. They. have become frighten-
_ed of adults. They have also
become intimidated, and therefore
are afraid to tell their story.

Often the bruises aren’i that
obvious. Often they are hidden by
clothing, only to be noticed by a
docter or the babysitter. With 4
child: who has been sexually or
physically abused, often the
greatest bruises are the emotional
ones. .

,Children are too weak to defend

is something that many

themselves against abuse. They -.

cannot” speak. for.
because they wouldn’t know what
to say or how to.say it. If they are
able to say what they want to say,
no one listens.

. If:anyone listens, their story. is
‘probabiy passed off as being un-
true or none of their business. The
child is not only rejected by the

abuser but by everyone else they

: approach. Who can they turn to?

+ T the ‘abuser: is’ ‘outside of the
immediate family; would the child
turn to his parents? Probably not.
He’d be too ‘scared and too
ashamed to actually admit what is
happening.

If the abuser is one of the
child’ 's parents, would she turn to
“someone outside the family? If the
people to whom she feels closest
to hurt her, how could she trust a
stranger?

One: of the closest: people to
very young children, after the
parenis, is usually. a teacher.
Teachers can help, especially if
they-pay attention to little signs

Wolo

CORRECTION
NOTICE

December 20
Fiyer
The Charger Hockey
Skates, Classic Skates
and the Vii Angels &
Lili Devil Skates are not
availabie.

‘We apologize for any
inconvenience this
may have caused our
Wooilco customers.

themselves-

‘are changing. Specific legislative .

‘any kind of physical

that children exhibit as a resuit of
being abused.

For example, their interests may
change all of a sudden. They may
star? drawing pictures that remind
them of what happened during the
abuse. They may want to be alone

all of the time, away from
everyone else, their games and
their. fun,

Children may frequently be
ticed. They may appear fearful of
authority. They may move away
suddenly if touched, refuse to
participate in gym for no valid
reason in an attempt to conceal
their injuries.

Sexually and physically abused
children feel that anytime there is
contact,
_whether it be parents or anyone
else, it means that they are going
to get hurt.

‘In the past, legislators and
judges have failed to protect
abused children. Things, however,

measures to deal with child abuse
have been instituted in all pro-
vinces except New Brunswick and
Prince Edward Island.

Here’s what the Child Welfare
Act of Ontario says about report-
ing child abuse: Section 41, Part
i: Every person having informa-
tion of the abandonment, des-
ertion, physical ill-treatment or
need for protection of a child
shall report the information to a
children’s aid society or a Crown
attorney.

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Section 41, Part 2: Subsection I
applies notwithstanding that the
information is confidential or
privileged, and no action shall be
instituted against the informant
unless the givixg of the informa-
tion is done.. maliciously or
without reasonable and probabie
cause,

Many children will bury the in-
cidents of abuse in their minds
forever. Many are plagued years
and years later by these childhood
experiences. Something like this is

. difficult to deal with when it hap-

pens and is even harder to forget. .

Bruises and scars may disap-
pear, but the thoughts and
nightmares never go away. These
incidents of abuse will affect a
child’s .behavior and whole
outlook on life.

The other night I was at a
friend's house and her mom
started yelling at her as soon as
we walked to the door. A few
minutes later it turned into more

of a fist fight than a mother--

daughter talk and another girl and
I were asked to leave.

We waited- outside for a little

while and after hearing a lot of
screaming, we: decided to knock
on the door to make sure our
friend was all right.

After her mother had called her
every single name in the book; she
calmed down and allowed us to

“come back ins: At that moment 1

thought my friend was never go-
ing to come out of shock.

She was. shaking and screaming.
She was crying. for more than an
hour, saying the same thing over

‘and over again: “My mom has

never hit me before. My mom has
never called me a ... before. I just
want to die.”

We have ail been embarrassed
by our parents in front of our
friends and tried to act cool to
make it seem. like we don’t care,
but in reality we do care. Most of
the time it is the words that. burt
the most. ©

If your own mother calls you a
derogatory term, you don’t know
what to think about yourself.
Most parents ‘don’: reaiize how

" See Child page 34

MANY OF you got presents under
the Christmas tree this morning.
If you

could ask for one

Friday, December 25, 1992 - North Shore News ~ 33

Christmas wish, what would it be?

Last week we asked you if you
think condom machines should
be installed in ‘North Shore
schools.

Hi, I'm 17 and yes, i do think
condom machines should be
installed because kids are going
to have sex anyway, whether or
not condom macitines are in-
Stalled in schools. Sz ix they’re
going to have sex wouldn’t
people rather have safe sex
than unprotected sex? You've
only got one chance, like Rus-
Sian roulette. It is your life. 1
think condom machines should
definitely be put in the schools.

I think condom machines
should be installed in schools. I
don’t think that it'll encourage
kids to have sex. I think it’s
their Zsiends, peer pressure and
boyfriends who encourage
thera to have sex, I don’t think
that condom machines have
anything to do with it. What it
would do is to help those whe
have been encouraged to have
sex, to have safe sex.

I think that schools should
have condom machines.

i think having condom
machines instatied will not be
Uke encouraging kids to have

condoms from a store. But if
they can get-them ai the school
or a place where they feel com-
fortable, then FE really think
that they'll really start to use
them. I’m not saying that teens
should have sex young, I’m
just saying that it’s time that
we took some action on this
and try to stop AIDS and
preguacies. .

I’m currently sexually active
and my girlfriend got pregnant
because we didn't use a con- —
dom. My school doesn't have
them. I think we should have
them in our schools; it’s a lot
better. I don’t think it pro-
motes sex just because you've
got a condem machine. I just
think if you're smart about it
you'll be fine.

I think if kids are geing to
have sex, they’re going to have
sex. And it doesn‘t really mat-.
ter if there are condoms there
or not but I think kids would
be inclined to use them more
and help combat the AIDS
problem. Just because there is
a condom machine there
wouldn't encourage me to have

sex because STDs are out there _ ¥

and it would be more protected
for them. J think it’s a load of
bull if teachers and older peo-
ple are saying that it'll en-
courage people to have sex.
STDs can ‘affect your life,
totally.

Pregnancy and STDs are still
on an uprise and obviously we
need some kind of protection.
Lots of kids aren’? responsible
enough to go out and buy

Photo caption. clarification

A PHOTOGRAPH in the Zap!
Youth News section of the Friday,
Dec. 18, North Shore News depic-
ting two teenagers carried a cap-
tion that described the medical
dangers facing today’s sexually
active teenagers.

The caption was meant as a
general statement. It was not
meant to reflect on the sexual ac-
uvity of the teenagers depicted.

The Zap! photo was taken
along with a number of general
shots by Sutherland secondary

12-5

Sony, Toshiba, Hitachi
and much more.

-ONSDALE, AVE. NORT tv

students for Zap’s Youth Views
column. The pair in the photo
were ‘not told specifically. that
their photograph would illustrate
the Dec. 18 Zapi. article on
teenagers’ concerns about sexual
activity.

The North Shore News regrets
any misunderstanding caused by
the caption and any embarrass-
ment suffered by the teenagers or
their families as a result of the
photograph. ‘

pm

4h

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