36 - Weonesday, August 14, 1991 -

North Shore News

LIFESTYLES

Couple’s arguing may have
significant consequences

Q. MY BOYFRIEND
claims he does ail the
‘‘work’’ during sex, but I
say his claim is nonsense!

He says the proof is in’ how
much he sweats and how out of
breath he gets. { don’t sweat as
much as he does.

Nor do FT pant like he does wien
is over. T tell him that’s just
proof he isn’t turning me on as
much as I'm turning him on,

Can you settle this for us? You
should also know that he smokes
and is about 30 pounds
overweight. !§ don't smoke and
weigh in at a trim 110 pounds on
my 5'3°° frame. 1 think he should
stop smoking and lose’ some
weight. What do you think?

A. Of course I think he should
stop smoking and lose some
weight! His general health would
improve if he did. But he still
might sweat more than you do.
He might even pant more than
you do.

Sweating and panting don’t
prove one person is working
harder than another. Some people
don’t sweat, or pant, very much.

I can’t tell you who is working
harder during sex, but 1 can tell
you this, If you keep arguing
about who's doing the most work
and who's not turning the other
one on enough, soon you won’t
have anything to argue about.
You won't be making love with
each other any more.

Q. | got married the first time
for all the right reasons, but the
marriage didn't last forever as it
was supposed to do. My wife of
20 years and | split amicably two
years ago.

Now Lam deeply involved with
a younger, sexier woman) who
wants to marry me. | am crazy
about her, but ft don't think she is
wife material,

I'm not sure what to do. Part
of me would like to run off to Las
Vegas with her and make it legal.
The other part says, *‘Hey, wait a
minute. You know this could
never work. She's not the marry-
ing kind!*"

Pm afraid if { don’t marry her,
Vit lose her. And I've never had
sex like this. What should I do?

A. First, | would have to know
which part of you wants to marry
her and which part doesn’t! You
say you married your first wife
for all the right reasons, but it still
didn’t work. I don’t know what

Make your move. |

ne G ;

PARNCIPAC ed a

Dr. Ruth
Westheimer

ASK DR. RUTH

you consider the right reasons, but
maybe you're wiong about that.

It is very possible you will lose
her if you don’t want to get mar-
tied and she does. After a while.
she will probably look for some-
one who shares her desire for
marriage — and does find her the
“marrying kind."

i can't tell you if you should
marry her or not. And if she were
asking me about you, I would say,
“f am concerned about his at-
titude. Why does he think good
sex and a good marriage don’t zo
together?”

Q. Everyone says penis size is

not supposed to matter, but
know it does. My husband has 2
very tiny penis. Making love
always required some extra effort
on my part to position myself so
his penis was in a position where
it could feel effective.

But, since the birth of our first
child months ago, nothing
works. 1 have to squeeze my legs
together during intercourse to
keep him inside me no matter
what position we use. This makes
sex very routine and boring for
me, since | can never really get in-
to it.

fs there any hope for us? If I
had known having a baby would
permanently alter our sex life, ’'m
not sure we would have done it. |
wanted to ask my doctor about
this, but I'm embarrassed.

A. Get over your embarrass-
ment cight now! You must talk to
your doctor. Perhaps you need
some minor surgical repair follow-
ing your baby’s birth. Or she may
Only Suggest exercises to
strengthen the vaginal muscles
that may have been stretched dur-
ing childbirth.

Having a baby should not per-
manently alter your sex life. This
problem can be easily remedied,
but you need your doctor's help
to do so. Isn’t it worth a little bit
of embarrassment to be able to
enjoy making love to your hus-
band again?

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