8 - Friday, August 16, 1985 - North Shore News

Wimpiand is McDonald's
of the immigration world

CRIES AND WHISPERS from Wimpland:

' Prime Minister Bryan
Baloney will soon make his
first visit to the Colony of
British Columbia since the

federal election, which was —

held‘a year ago. The occa-
sion? .The opening of a
Moslem mosque.

That should tell you more
about the guy than you want

to know:
:. © ee

APEC, the Alliance of the’

Preservation of English in
Canada, quotes. columnist
Doug Fisher. of the Toronto
Sun as saying that of the 757
people whu staff-the House
of Commons; 64 per cent are

French. The rest are Anglos. .

Meanwhile, . the Commis-
sioner of Official

Languages, ‘and. his. buddy |
jai
ENGLISH SIGN, Linda will

the Speaker: of the’ House,
the Hon. John Ww. ‘Bosley,

are looking at ways and
means of making the Com-
mons staff 100 per cent bi-
lingual. Which is to say they
plan to replace the hopeless-
ly unilingual Anglos with
Quebeckers, etc.

APEC also reminds us
that not all Anglos are
wimps. Derek Wood, a
Quebec merchant, was pro-
secuted for displaying a
business sign on his property
in English only. The courts
Tuled in his favor but the
province is appealing. Wood
is- prepared to go to jail
rather than capitulate. If the
decision goes against him, he
will hold- a “Gone to Jail

_ Sale’’. His newspaper adver-

’. tisement states:

“While Derek Wood is in
for posting AN

offer a 25-cent reduction on
all flower and vegetable flats
to anyone who says, ‘‘I'M

PROUD TO BE A CANA-
DIAN.”’

ne

Ottawa. has announced
that rich retired persons who
wish to immigrate to
Wimpland may do so with
the greatest of ease, just like
the. man on the flying
trapeze. And they will be en-
titled to all social benefits.

School for gifted opens

A: SCHOOL ‘for ‘gifted pre-
schoolers will be’ opening its
doors on the North Shore this

Septembe tr.

| tors .-of
‘Preschool takes pride in an-
nouncing the” September
- ‘opening. ofthe unique new’
‘educational’ facility: for
potentially gifted three: and
four year olds in West
Vancouver.
' Operating out of Westcot
' School,.’the.. preschool will

‘offer an enriched curriculum
and a low pupil/teacher

“ratio (two teachers for every
: “class of 15 students).

‘ The parent board of: direc-. ae
the” Coela-Bryce..”)

Individualized educational
programs will be structured
around the children's rates
and personal styles of learn-

“ing, Thus, the injection of
early reading, early math,
and: computer skills into a .

play ‘n learn setting will
reflect the extraordinary
achievements the students
have” already been showing

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There are still a few open-
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This non-profit, charitable
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‘See ustoday and start micro cooking tonight.

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This is another little dodge
in the Liberal tradition, and
one wonders why Baloney
ever replaced Trudeau.

Anyway, aspiring greybeard

on the horses.) .
Wimpland must be the on-
ly country in ithe world
where immigrants can buy
their way in. Pretty soon,

by Doug ‘Collins

immigrants need not now
worry about having to have
“substantial ties’? in this
country. All they need is
bucks. It is all part of the
fiction that immigrants who
have money will somehow
save us from the economic
consequences of our follies.
Once landed, they will
begin to qualify for the old
age pension, medicare and
all other goodies. (Welfare,
too, if they lose their money

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our embassies will be carry-
ing signs saying ‘‘Billions
Sold,"’ Wimpland being the
McDonald's of the izamigra-
tion world.
oes

The Business Council of
British Columbia reports
that the Bakery, Confec-
tionery and Tobacco
Workers’ Union in Montreal
successfully opposed a food
firm’s demand that! all
employees must take medical

examinations. The demand
violated the Charter of
Rights, the union said.

An arbitrator backed the
union, stating that the
Charter protects the body’s
inviolability.

Does it matter that a guy
with the syph may be han-
dling your sausages? Ask the
union.

ent

Richard the Troll reports
that the ERECTION SHOP
sign. displayed for years at
the North Van shipyard has
been removed. A veritable
tourist attraction, it seems to
have embarrassed the Wimp
Generation of workers.

aoe

A competition is taking
place to find an.easy. name
for ALRT, ‘our. wonderful
new transit system-to-be.

Peter A. Dale of North
Vancouver has submitted
this entry: FART. For ‘‘Fast .
Automated ‘Rail Transporta-
tion,” he-. “explains, adding
that when Expo is over there
could be a hell of a‘stink.

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