30 - Sunday, August 30, 1992 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES | Legal counselling the first step to a new life 1 FINALLY separated from my husband six weeks ago after suffering months of physical and mental abuse. We have two daughiers aged three and four. The abuse seemed to start when my thvce-year-old was born. 2 believe my husband was disappointed that we did vot have a son. The final straw came when he sSapped my three-year-old daugh- ter across the face. Before that time he kad quite consistently beer yelling at the children and saying unkind things to them, but he had only directed his physical abuse at me. Until now ¥ have been living off friends. My husband has a good job bet has given me nothing to live ou. I have talked to kim sev- ere] times and be says that if 3 want muy mowey for myself or the children. we can just come back aud Hive wits him. I never want to retum. He hzs rot seen the children since I left nor kas he asked to uniil iast night. Last aight he called and said he wanted the children for the weekend and I had ne right to refuse. 1 am afraid that if I allow him to take the children be may iiart them. The children are not of an age where they can protect themselves or even call for kelp. { know I have got to organize my life, but I do not know where to start and i am very upset about this vuew demand to see the children. From a legal perspective, you should get a lawyer immediately. He or she can advise you as to your rights, with respect to custody, maintenance for yourself and the children and division of property. Arrangements can be made quite quickly, on a temporary basis, to allow you and the Arthritis society recognized .. “ACKNOWLEDGING THEIR "leadership role in promoting ef- fective self-help strategies, volun- teers and staff for The Arthritis Society, B.C. and Yukon division will be featured speakers at the International Conference on * Self-Help and Mutual Aid, to be held Wednesday, Sept. 2 to Fri- day, Sept. 4 in Ottawa. . Supported by the Seniors’ In- dependence Program, the con- ference will examine and share in- ‘formation on the role of self-help and mutual aid in social, econom- ic and health issues and reflect the diversity of the self-help and mutual aid movement. “At an international conference where presentations are typically - 15 minutes in length, we’ve been ‘ fenored in being asked to do a 90-minute session,’’ said Patrick McGowan, director of social work - service for The Arthritis Society. . -. McGowan and fellow presenters Mary Brown, Jane Lee and Trudy Frank will discuss the ABC Pro- , ject, a multi-faceted initiative that -provides self-help and outreach programs to individuals with ar-. thritis, Aspects of ABC include devel- opment of support groups, tele- phone contact programs for home-bound people, a com- prehensive telephone information service and the Arthritis Self- Management Program (ASMP). The ASMP, which was devel- oped by Dr. Kate Lorig of Stan- ford University and adapted by the B.C. and Yukon division, has been implemented across Canada by The Arthritis Society over the past year. Organizers say the program is a big success. In B.C. and the Yukon alene, over 900 people wili take ASMP at almost 60 courses to be given during September, which is Arthritis Month. The Arthritis Society’s repre- sentatives will reflect on their ex- periences with tae ABC Project in adapting to the needs of a diverse population, such as the modifica- tion of the Arthritis Self- Management Program for use in Chinese and First Nations com- munities. of things! Rainbow Country has some of the best golfing in B.C., and now the world's best hotel, too... the new HOLIDAY INN CHILLIWACK! Enjoy a great game of golf at gorgeous Aquadel Golf Course, at fhe far end of Cultus Lake, There we get you preferred tee-off times. Then head back to our clubhouse, at the Holiday Inn, for a fabulous dinner for two, deluxe accommodation, and breakfast the next moming. All for only $69.00 per person’, based on double occupancy. It's a slice of a deal, and it's yours for the asking! 45920 First Avenue Chilliwack, B.C. V2P 7K1 604-795-4788 or 1-800-HOLIDAY olidiny Sew CHILLIWACK. Family Affairs HUGH . STARK KIRSTIE MACLISE children to set up your household. These arrangements would allevi- ate your need to live off friends and, hopefully, provide a more stable environment for your children. There are many options avail- able. For example, it may be that your husband will be allowed to see the childrcu, but only on a supervised basis. That would mean that another adult would have to be present during the ac- cess visits. From an emotional perspective, it may be that you require some professional heip to assist you in this stressful time. You should consult your family doctor and he or she can advise you as to the various professionals and agencies that are available to help you. 1 just told my boyfriend, whom I heave been living with for li months, that I am pregant with his child. Instead of being excited he in- formed me thet he is not ready to settle down with a family and therefore he is leaving. We had not been planning a family 2 this time, bul it was something that we had both discussed as happening fairty sooa in the futare. i do not understand my dboyfriend’s reaction at ell. How- ever, if he wiskes to leave that is fine, as long as my child is pro- tected. My girlfriend told me that you have to be living together for two years before you have a common-law relationship. Can my boyfriend escape paying for our child on thet basis? No, your boyfriend can not escape maintaining his child on the basis of your short relation- ship together. Your short relation- ship does affect his legal respon- Iit’S FUN IT’S DIFFERENT sibility to maintain you. You should seek legal advice and attempt to enter into an agreement or consent order with him for the financial responsibility for your new child. If he refuses to do so, you may have to apply to court to obtain an order. : The questions and answers given in this column are for general in- formation only. If you have matrimonial prob- lems you should seek legal advice so that your advisor can assess your particular circumstances and give you the best advice. Questions about family law and estates can be directed to Stark & MacLise c/o. Family Affairs, North Shore news, 1139 Lonsdale Avenue, North Vaacouver, V7M id. A A yt IT’S FOUR-PART HARMONY DOGWOOD CHORUS seeks new § women members. Al! voices, especially B low range. No need to read music.. ’ Meet Tuesdays 7:45 p.m. ped 329-7061, Highlands School - } fe. 3150 Colwood, North Vancouver 5) -. For further information, piease call ~ 9860-3584, 984-6370. . NAR cere 8 hel Te Oya era,