Wednesday, February 27, 1991 — North Shore News - 9

Quickly Flip-Flop
strikes again!

be making a Second Coming in
the pages of the Evening Wimp,
where she will join its editorial
writers, Mr. Jellybelly and the
Wimp’s fashionable new acquisi-
tion, Carole Taylor (Vancouver’s
Lady Bountiful) in making the
province safe for liberalism.

How they will find the room for
all those do-gooders is beyond me,
but who am I to pass judgment on
the ways of the wayward press?

We may be sure, however, that
the phoney hungry children in-
dustry, the radical fem industry,
the multicult industry, the im-
migration industry, the Fantasy
Gardens industry and all related
activities will prosper more than
ever. Even if the Wimp’s circula-
tion continues to plunge.

Which reminds me. Not only
did | foretell the future when
Quickly/Flip Flop went political,
but after she became a commen-

IT’S POSITIVELY embarrassing, being right so often. But
there you are. Your humble servant cannot evade the
truth. Not even in the interests of modesty.

I speak of the departure from

the political stage of Nicole Par-
ton, aka Mistress Quickly or Miss
Flip Flop.

In Scene One, Quickly (so nam-
ed because she writes and acts
more quickly than she thinks), is
scribbling away for the Evening
Wimp, where one of her favorite
pastimes is bashing Bill Vander
Zaim.

In Scene Two, she joins the
Socreds and says there is much to
be said for the Zalm after all.
Subsequently, she kindly consents
to run for the Socreds in Bur-
naby-Edmonads.

In Scene Three, she wins the
nomination by a single vote. But
the local peasants are not too

Collins

Ag.

LORNE W. TOPHAM
BARRISTER & SOLICITOR
WISHES TO ANNOUNCE

THE NEW LOCATION OF HIS OFFICE AT
SUITE 21 265 17TH ST, WEST VANCOUVER

TEL: 922-9364 V7V 356 FAX: 922-9370
EFFECTIVE MARCH 1 1991

Due to massive overstock situation, Singer Sewing Machines is offering
for sale to the public a limited number of new speciat 1991 HEAVY DUTY
Zig Zag sewing machines, Model 5810, which are industrial strength and
sew on ail fabrics: denim, canvas upholstery, nyion, stretch. vinyl, silk.
EVEN SEWS ON LEATHER. No attachments needed for button holes (any
size), Monograms, hems, sews on buttons, satin stitches, overcoats, darns,
appliques and more.

Just set dials and see magic happen without old-fashioned cams or pro-
grammer. These machines are suitable for home, professional or
schooiroom sewing. 25-year warranty. Your price with this ad $299.95 —-
without this ad $579.95. Your cheque, cash or VISA & MASTERCARD
welcome. Sale ends Sat., March 2/91

Rebuilt Sewing Machines from *89°
Only at this Singer Sewing Centre

1048 Marine Dr.,
North Vancouver

STORE HOURS
Mon-Sat. 9-6
Friday 9-9

988-5503

pleased about this liberal fem be-
ing parachuted in from the North
Shore.

In Scene Four, the local pea-
sants revolt, and force a second
nomination contest in which
Quickly is the victor. Two minutes
later she bashes Zalm again.

In Scene Five, Quickly/Flip
Flop decides she cannot stomach
the Zalm after all (after alis
follow her around like little dogs)
and she quits. She does this in a
weepy way which makes this
member of the TV audience fall
off his chair laughing. But I have
a distorted sense of humor.

it serves the Socreds right, of
course. They wanted to show that
they tvo were on the side of the
left-liberal angels.

As your scribe and seer said at
the time, they might as well have
picked someone from the NDP.

Secondly, there was little chance
of her being elected. Not too long
ago, Burnaby-Edmonds was
NDPer Rosemary Brown’s

stronghold. On top of that, the
Burnaby Socreds were not exactly
cheering themselves hoarse over

Two of their executive told me
after the second nomination
debacle that they would be cam-
paigning for candidates in other
ridings, so unhappy were they
with the turn of events.

It wouldn’t surprise me now if
Mikey didn't make a bid for her
services. He could parade her
around the province in the same
way that evangelist parsons parade
former prominent sinners.

Not that she has been that great
a sinner as far as the liberal ideal
is concerned, as those who
remember her ‘‘Take a multicult
to lunch’’ campaign will recall.

One supposes that once Quick-
ly/Flip Flop has dried her tears
and kissed her great friend Aziz
Khaki the multicult man, she will

ON THE OTHER HAND

tator on world problems I said
that she should have stuck to car-
rot counting. As a supermarket
watcher she was pretty good.

It must also be emphasized that
weeping comes naturally to Quick-
ly. As she herself once explained,
it was after turning on the old tear
ducts to a managing editor that
she first got employment in jour-
nalism. (Tip to budding reporters
from the Collins School of Jour-
nalism — learn to cry.)

The Socreds must also be doing
a bit of weeping. But, to repeat, it
serves them right. As the actress
whispered to the bishop, ‘‘This
above all, to thine own self be
true.”’

The only thing that surprises me
is that Keith Spicer and his Forum
crowd haven’t taken Quickly/Flip
Flop to their bosom. She and
Laurier LaPee would have a great
time turning on the old taps while
the violins played ‘*O Canada.”

s

WHAT !S THE B.C. FESTIVAL OF ART?
AND WHAT WILL IT DO FOR
NORTH VANCOUVER AND
WHEN IS IT COMING?

An interview with
Stuart Backerman,
Festival Co-ordinator

FRI., MARCH 1
on channel! 4

SHAW CABLE
March 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 & 17

Host: Ernie Crist

LYNN VALLEY
INSURANCE AGENCY LTD.

3171 MOUNTAIN HIGHWAY

Pleasure use only vehicles
for seniors over 65
25% discount

“Satisfied Clients are our Greatest
Asseis”

* HOMEOWNERS |

CONDOMINIUM ~

NO GST.

984-4515

HOURS: Mon-Fri. 9 AM - 5:30 PM
Sat. 9 AM - 4:30 PM

EXTENDED HOURS:
26 to 28 FEBRUARY AM to 9 PA

Your Insurance Broker
Understands

Plan your
Autoplan with

So don't just renew your policy, review it with
the experts at BCAA. We help more drivers
with their Autoplan than any one else in B.C.
And our highly trained agents can show you
Just what your policy covers and suggest any
additional coverage you may require.

7

Most people think of Autopian as something to
simply renew. But your automobile insurance
needs con change from year to year. Pls, with
Rabiity daims going through the ceiling these
days, it's hard to know how much extra
coverage to Carry.

© Free parking in most locations
* Extended business hours at month-end
* More offices than any other auto Insurance agent In B.C.

8CAA Insurance Agency

Plan your Autoplan with us.
922-3361

| PARK ROYAL SHOPPING CENTRE, WEST VANCOUVER