HERE’S NO point in’
.20ing .abroad if you :

! .can’t have: a. few
laughs, and no sooner had we
‘arrived in’ Switzerland’s
Bernese.:Oberland than a
_German-speaking radio man

=

announced -in.English. that |

he next song would be “My.
Boney, Lies Over The Ocean.”

That put.me in a good mood for :

‘the next three weeks. | :
«v1 even forgot to think about the
“NDP, Bill 33, and similar offences’
: against the human race,

~ Not quite. so funny were the
-ptices.. Europe is expensive, and
. Switzerland — so the Swiss them-

“selves told me — is the most

‘expensive European country of all::-

‘Not that they are altogether to
blame. It’s largely a matter of our
rocky dollar, oo

‘We spent a lot of time préssing

our-noses.to bank windows to see -

what thé dollar was fetching and!
ne day it dropped, front 85 ofa a,
franc to .78..
Even at 85, things w weren't
exactly’ POsyersc- : : &
<A ‘modest hotel i in: .
-Lauterbrunnen, was offering ‘eggs
ard bacon and hash browns for’.

a for $2.85. A Big Mac cost $7.
A friend who.is.an expert § said.

‘home: In the end he gave up trying.
It’s nice to know. that not even the *
Swiss are perfect. ; Be
Grey Eyes and I stuck to the.
lorious’ Swiss food. One day we

got. the finest asparagus’ soup ois!
known to man. It cost $10 but was

‘meal.i in itself. _; og

-Most shocking of all was the.
‘cost’ of booze. If you go, be sure to’
take your favorite liquor with you. :

‘A regular sized botile of Red _;

1

other hand

$35. Wines were. much more rea-'
sonable. A bottle of plonk could be

- had for $5.50.

Does all this sound too hega-

tive? Will the Swiss join the

Canadian Jewish Congress and
charge me with bringing an identi-
fiable group into contempt?

It’s a risk that has to be run.
:Mind: you, hear that things are
even worse in Japan, where'an
apple can cost $5. They are also
not that great in Germany. |

‘Airport, restaurants in any coun-

try rip you off, but at the one in

Frank furt-on-Main, two (luke- ©
“ warm) bowls of soup, two rolls and
-one beer cost us just under $23. 1°
‘ didn't leave'a tip. | thought the
waiter should tip’me.
.- So what’s the good news?
One thing is that Switzerland .

has the best railway and bus system .

in the world, How do I know that,
not having visited every other
_ country? .

‘Because the Swiss system could
not possibly be improved upon.
The trains run to the minute, are
comfortable, quiet, and scrupulous-
: dy clean. And if you buy a Swiss .
‘travel pass before you go you've
"Bot, a bargain.

You can ride the trains and’
biises’as much as you like, snooze

‘on the pleasure steamers that oper-
- ate on the Swiss lakes and the

. Rhine, and get on most of the lifts
“that haul people up the mountains.
oo We paid $380 for our passes .

LONSDALE QUAY »
NORTH VANCOUVER

938-6321

and got over twice as much as that.
in travel value.

* But don't try chee iting on the
bus fares. The fine is 560 for not
having the proper pass or ticket,
with no ifs, ands or buts. Plus
another $10 if you don’t have the

cash on. you

Another thing they don’t like is
drugs. And they take no notice of
sob stories. ;

While we were ‘there: one
Nigerian got eight years for drug
peddling, while another got five,
And all their talk about being poor
sufferers in a harsh world got them

~ nowhere. oN

‘The other big news was that a
Catholic Bishop by the,name of
Vogel had become a father and had
been obliged to quit. As I keep say-
ing, nobody's perfect. :

. 1 forgot to mention the
Oberland’s magnificent waterfalls,
of which there were 72 in our val-
ley alone. Lord Byron saw them
and wrote these lines: 7}

“The sunbeam’s rays still arch |

the torrent with the many hues, of

heaven,

“And roll the sheeted silver" 's
waving column o'er the crag’s
headline perpendicular.”

The sight of those torrents in the
sun make the. price of booze worth
it.

Rm A,
{
|

Lema es
m

ae

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