A yearly roundup of oddball events TIME again for that annual holiday appetiz- er, known in the trade as the year-ender. “It’s a prose piece recogniz- ing the fact that pve days before the New Year, the read- ers can’t possibly be interested in anything too serious, Or, for that matter, semi-serious. There are a couple of fall- back postions. One is to wish the various movers and shakers in sport some sort of special holiday gift. Such as: for Brian Burke — something more substantial than a set of used goal nets or a second hand Zamboni in exchange for Pavel Bure. Then there’s the yearly roundup of oddball events thar put the business of sport into proper perspective — ie. compared to the things that really count in this battered old world, it is, or should be, the tovland of our existence. And that's the route we're going to travel today. For openers, Evel Knievel was back in the news this year when he underwent hip replacement surgery, three weeks after being injured dur- ing a round of g golt. ‘Trying to sail a speeding g golf cart over a sand trap? Nah. The 59- -year- old stuntman stumbled and fell, trying to hit his ball out of a creck bed on the back nine of a Clearwater, Florida, golf course. Voulda’t the money-losing G anche like this sort ofa deal? Last spring, just a day after a new NEIL TV contract guaranteed them $73.3 mil- hon, the Indianapolis Colts agreed toa better lease with the city-owned RCA Dome, where they play their home games. No longer do they pay rent to the city. Instead, the city now pays them $8.9 mil- lion a year to stay where they are. You had an inkling the pro sports world has gone crazy? Now you know for sure. AUS. college swimmer, Mart Zelen, won his 100-vard buttertly race naked after fos- ing his.suit. When he felt it . sliding down, he just kicked it off and kept going. However he was stripped, so to speak, of his victory for violating a uni- form code. Said Zelen: “Ifat had: been the backstroke, | obviously would have stopped.” Quotes, with varving shelf lives, trom the 1998 sports scene: When Sylvester Stallone listed his dream golf foursome partners — Ben Franklin, Michelangelo and Jesus Christ, CNN golf reporter Jim) Huber commented: “I guess Sly doesn’t want to be concerned with lightning, low ceilings and water, . Wher the New York Knicks radio play-by-play man noted last spring'thar doctors had co driff a hole in the head of Miami Heat centre Alonzo Mourning in order to re-set 3 broken cheekbone, analyst Walt Frazier replied: “With Alonzo they didn’t have to worry they were going to find anything, back there.” New York Mets general manager Steve Phillips, explaining the signing of Dutch-born inticller Robert Eenhoorn: “We needed to buy a vowel.” Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis, answering questions about reports the NFL ream is headed back to Los Angeles: “You want me to take the president off the front page? Pm sure Monica would like thar.” Seattle Sonics broadcaster Marques Johnson, calling the action during a fate seaxen game against the Sacramento Rings: “Corliss (Williamson) is going to go the amphibious route, changing from the right te the left hand.” Citius, Fortius and especial- ly Altius: In Sydney, Australia, this vear, evervane is pushing the Olympic spirit. Especially the pushers, Fifty-four tabs af ISD were confiscated by Down Under authorities. They bore the logo of the 2000 Games. Back to Oakland where, in 4 football first, radio station KPCT struck a deal to make LifeStyles condoms “the oftt- cial condom of Oakland Raiders broadcasts.” During games this season the station ran spots that included the message “LifeStyles; because life is. a contact sport.” The Raiders have declined com- ment. This was the vear anew league-sanctioned pro football game, NEL Xtreme, came on the market. tt features evber- players who fimp when injured, talk trash, flex over fallen opponents and, accord: ing to a promotional release, pertorm “30-phus touchdown dances.” This also was the year 13 nuns from an order in Edmonton laid a small hockey stick and puck at the foot ofa statue of Jesus as part of a praver ritual to keep the Oilers trom leaving town, Given Canadian taxes, the limping toonic and escalating NHI. salaries, nore than praver will he needed. BS. Back to the top of this piece and the Bure trade possi- bilities. Yes, there once was a hockey trade for a set of used of used goal nets. The date Jake Miltord, the Canucks general manager 20 years ago, used to dine out on that story. He was the other half of the trade. To all, a wondertal Christmas. And may the New Year provide anorher funny: bone harvest tron tovland. MEWS photn Brad Leawidge Tips up A lone skier kicks back a little rest between runs at Grouse Mountain. Skiers and snowboarders are taking full advantage of the recent snowy weather. OPEN HOUSE! : You're Invited... Sunday Jan. 3 Curling with Linda Moore Tennis with Grant Connell Skating with Karen Magnussen See Complete details on page 9 of today’s North Shore News NORTH SHORE WINTER CLUB 1325 East Keith Road @ Mountain Hwy N. Van 985-4135 NORTH SHORE HAWKS 7 m NSGSC MIGHTY DUCKS B NORTH SHORE SHREDDERS NSGSC NORTHERN LIGHTS NORTH SHORE BLACKHAWKS Mla) NORTH SHORE BEARS me NORTH SHORE LASERS pay NORTH SHORE SLAMMERS Bem NORTH SHORE PIRATES NORTH SHORE BULLDOGS NORTH SHORE ARISTOCATS BA WEST VAN CHEETAHS WEST VAN HURRICANES ¥-10 GIRLS MA NORTH SHORE TORPEDOES NORTH SHORE TIMBERWOLVES BAN NORTH SHORE GOAL DIGGERS NORTH SHORE STEAMAOLLERS NORTH SHORE WOLVERINES Se NORTH SHORE BULLETS Bea ORTH SHIRE CHEETAHS Et NORTH SHORE SPIRIT Me NORTH SHORE CONDORS NORTH SHORE MAGIC Zeq NORTH SHORE DEVILS fem NORTH SHORE RAPTORS fee NORTH SHORE ONOS NORTH SHORE TWISTERS man WEST VAN COUGARS eA WEST VAN ROADRUNNERS ee WEST VAN 89ers my U-21 GIALS WEST VAN PANTHERS NORTH SHORE FLYERS NORTH SHORE CYCLONES fea NORTH SHORE SHARKS NORTH SHORE SABRES NORTH SHORE DYNAMOS NORTH SHORE FIREFLYS = NORTH SHORE SHARPSHOOTERS BEN NORTH SHORE SHCOTING STARS U-12 GIRLS NORTH SHGAE ANGELS NORTH SHORE BLEJAYS NORTH SHORE YETIS NORTH SHORE HURRICANES NORTH SHORE STINGERS am NORTH SHORE SKYHAWKS NORTH SHORE CHARGERS NORTH SHORE MUSTANGS ~ NORTH SHORE GRIZZLIES NORTH SHORE IMPACT NORTH SHORE PYTHONS NORTH SHORE SHOOTERS B NORTH SHORE BANDITS U-13 GIRLS NORTH SHORE SEA EAGLES ae] NORTH SHORE REBELS NORTH SHORE T-BIROS WEST VAN WHIPPETS WEST YAN MARAUDERS NORTH SHORE SEASTARS Mia) NORTH SHORE ROADRUNNERS NORTH SHORE SILVER HAWKS Re) NORTH SHORE BLUE LIGHTNING a NORTH SHORE FUSION NORTH SHORE STINGERS B NORTH SHORE CELVIC UNITED U-14 GQIALS NORTH SHORE HEAT NORTH SHORE RACCOONS NORTH SHORE REBELS NORTH SHORE STARGAZERS NORTH SHORE STARUNGS gf NORTH SHORE SANDPIPERS NORTH SHORE DOLPHINS BA) NORTH SHORE TALONS Rie WEST VAN SCREAMERS @ WEST VAN STRIKERS Wednesday, December 39. 1998 ~ Nartn Share News — PLEASE WELCOME THE PARTICIPANTS OF THE | tall ANNUAL i NORTH SHORE YOUTH SOCCER ASSOCIATION LIONS GATE KESTRELS LIONS GATE FIREBALLS U-9 BOYS LYNN VALLEY WEREWOLVES LYNN VALLEY MAD DOGS LYNN VALLEY PITBULLS UYNN VALLEY BULLOOGS LYNN VALLEY COYOTES LYNN VALLEY WOLVES LYNN VALLEY WHIPPETS LIONS GATE SUNBIRDS LIONS GATE THUNDERBIRDS UONS GATE RAPTORS LYNN VALLEY RAVENS LIONS GATE OSPREYS LG. RED-HEADED VULTURES WEST VAN CAULFIELD CORRAS WEST VAN CHEETAHS WEST VAN PANTHERS LYNN VALLEY ORCAS LYNN VALLEY RAVENS WEST VAN CAULFIELD POWER MOUNT SEYMOUR COBRAS MOUNT SEYMORE DOLPHINS MNT SEYMOUR CRUSADERS MOUNT SEYMOUR GRIZZUIES MOUNT SEYMOUR HOTSPURS MNT SEYMOUA PANTHERS MNT SEYMOUR PYTHONS BB MOUNT SEYMOUR SURFS LYNN VALLEY LASERS Fi LYNN VALLEY BARRACUDAS fim LYNN VALLEY COUGARS i LYNN VALLEY FIGHTING IRISH [BE LYNN VALLEY PHOENIX fas LIONS GATE DRAGONS fi LIONS GATEHAWKS & MNT SEYMOUR CRUSADERS MNTSEYMOUR MUSTANGS [x 27 MNT SEYMOUR BUCCANEERS [inet LYNN VALLEY BRONCOS FR LYNN VALLEY TALONS LYNN VALLEY STRIKERS LIONS GATE TIGERS LIONS GATE JETS LIONS GATE REBELS LIONS GATE DRILLERS & LIGNS GATE MANTIS LIONS GATE SPURS WEST VAN SONICS WESTVANFIYINGEAGLES |e SQUAMISH SCORPIONS MNT SEYMOUR ROYALS MNT SEYMOUR RAVENS a MNT SEYMOUR UNITED FRE LYNN VALLEY BENGALS LYNN VALLEY HAWKS MINT SEYMOUR CELTIC UNITED LYNN VALLEY PANTHERS LYNN VALLEY JAGUARS LYNN VALLEY SABRES LIONS GATE LIGHTNING U-13 BOYS LIONS GATE STORM LOCATIONS SUTHERLAND SECONDARY | 1860 Sutherland, North Vancouver WINDSOR SECONDARY 931 Broadview Ave., North Vancouver HANDSWORTH SECONDARY 1044 Edgewood Rid., North Vancouver CARSON GRAHAM SECONDARY 2145 Jones Ave., North Vancouver ARGYLE SECONDARY 1131 Frederick Road, North Vancouver MICKEY MCDOUGAL 123 East 23rd St.,1 bik east of Lonsdale DELBROOK REC CENTER G00 West Quesns Rd., North Vancouver SATURDAY - 8:00am - 8:00pm SUNDAY - 8:00am - 6:00pm LIONS GATE VIPERS LIONS GATE CAPILANO LIONS GATE BLAZERS MOUNT SEYMOUR DOLPHINS MOUNT SEYMOUR UNITED U-14 BOYS LIONS GATE CAPILANOS LIONS GATE FENNECS LYNN VALLEY BLACKHAWKS LYNN VALLEY HAWKS LYNN VALLEY UNITED LYNN VALLEY VIPERS LYNN VALLEY FALCONS LIONS GATE HAWKS LIONS GATE STRIKERS fj WEST VAN SAINTS WEST VAN RANGERS MANY THANKS TS OUR SPONSCRS ‘north shore. LIONS GATE HOTSPURS | MOUNT SEYMOUR BOBCATS jy WEST VAN RANGERS FE LIONS GATE BURRARDS [eam LIONS GATE KICKERS fam