24 ~ Wednesday, April 28, 1999 — North Shore News north shore news 4g PARENTAL GUIDANCE Love helps to heal in time of great loss Thad a nice family once ... good husband, healthy, happy chil- dren, a home, dogs, and a cat. Thad everything, or so I thought. And then one day 1 discovered that I really didn’t have everything. That what I thought was a safe, secure home was no longer. The Tug was pulled out from under me, and my world split apart like a meteor frac- turing into tiny pieces, CAULFEILD Science Fair participants Jamie Gregory (left to right), Matt Gibson, Connor Smith and Kelsey Schick tried to find out which brand of chewing gum hurtling helter skelter through a dark, strange space. At first it was too unbe- lievable to grasp. This could- Taste test has the most lasting flavour. mt be happening to me, the fast moving take charge queen of the laundry room. Not to Shannon, ever in con- trol of her life and several others. Not to the woman who had it all. Buc it did happen to me, and to my family, It was real- ly no one’s fault, but before | had a chance to do anything about, everything changed. They call it grief. It’s the process you go through when you lose someone or something dear to you, NEWS photo Mike Wakefield Corner of Keith - Bewicke - Marine, North Van, 988-8082 | 988-6535 Hours: Mon.-Fri. Gar - Spm: Sat. 9am - Spans Sun. & Halas rin 5pm “WHAT A DE ® Gladioli ¢ Dahlias ®-Lilies ¢ Day Lilies ® Canna Lilies © etc... Lots to Choose From on the North Shore s CUSTOMER APPRECIATION DAY EVERY THURSDAY Cm 99 SMALL FRUIT Raspberries ® Grapes ® Blueberries ¢ Rhubarb © Strawberries ® etc... Huge Selection EVERYTHING WE SELL THURSDAY ‘ONLY “Sale” or multiple priced items excluded { CASH & CARRY ONLY 1 must Mourn NOt only the Joss of my marriage, but also the loss of my family intact. T must mourn the loss of my innocence, for Tan never again completely trust anything. I must mourn the family lite we shared, the good parts of it anyway, because it will never again be the same. I mourn the physical and emotional intimacy I trea- sured, the calm quict blanket of love [ wiways felt around me. These are monumental losses for anyone, no matter how strong you may think you are. I never imagined what it would be like. Sure, I've had friends who have been sepa- rated, divorced, even wid- owed, I've gossiped about them, about their affairs and Luw they've handled these changes in their fives. Bur I never imagined how much it hurts, how shattered people are, how deep the wounds can be. I'm a reader, so I immedi- ately went to the library and took out all the buoks on the subject of marital separation. They are a tough read for someone looking for relict. One book said plan for three years of emotional distress. 2 KIDZ BU Z BIZ 9 -RIDZBIZ:§ Another said vou never get over it. All the books talk about the black pit of despair that accompanies the uncou- pling process, especially if you are the person in the couple who didn’t have time to prepare. The books all tell you to take life one day at a time; fo not be concerned by the constant crying that you engage in, firs of tears that erupt in the most unlikely places: in line at the bank, in the bakery section of the grocery store, on the side- lines of the soccer field, I cried at my computer, while [ was running my dogs. and in my car. I cried constantly in my car, wailing and slobbering as I listened to tender songs on the radio. It’s a miracle J never had a car accident during that time. In the books they warn you about that. TE cried, too, into the soft flannel sheets of the massage table where f lav myself out for healing hands to rub, knead, and finally soothe my aching muscles, Who would have thought that a broken heart could cause vouc mus- cles te tense up to a point where it just hurts to be? The books all advise you to think positive thoughts and speak to yourself in posi- iain ne Ae tein oo | ONE DAY SALE COUP I ! Thursday, April 29, 1999 I Bring this coupon to Kidz Biz to receive* 5% OFF Dan ee ce sss ne ae ae So ee ae en Sm eS ate ey se ore me mee ol M.S.R. OR 0% OFF LAST SALE PRICE TRE STOCK *Whichever is greater live terms. You are not to say things to vourselt like terrible.” No, you are to replace those negative “my life is so See Time page 25 KIDZ BIZ Children’s Clothing Co. Lynn Valley Centre 988-7466 Easy access, take the Lynn Valley Ad. (North) Exit off Upper Levels Hwy. Je KIDZBIZ- © RIDE BIZ “2 KIDZ. BIZ *. KIDZ. BIZ'* KIDZ BIZ ee" KIDZ BIZ eK WR. FU ZU ZU ZT LY ze Ze