‘Tales IT IS almost a pleasure to report that this country is crazier than ever, and will soon be one vast loonybin. Doug Collins <3 mS British Columbia leads in this development, what with the Fan- tasy Farm fiasco and men apply- ing to join the Girl Guides of Canada. But the disease is na- tional, not merely provincial. In Ottawa, the masterminds of the Supreme Court tell a self- confessed double murderer he is free to wander the streets again. They quote the Charter of Wrongs and Frauds and say it would bring the Iaw into disrepute to keep him behind bars. Put it down as the joke of the century. We area world leader in such humor. In Toronto, Socialist Premier Bob Rae, a reincarnation of the Bob and Ray comedy act, ap- points a Leading Lesbian to the police commission. Just before that he had ap- pointed an immigrant Chinese gal to be its chairman. An obvious choice, really, she having previously refused to swear allegiance to the Queen. The les- bian also did not swear allegiance to the Queen, obliging Mr. Rae having in the meantime removed the oath from the swearing-in process. Let him now appoint a bank robber. That would surely bring laudatory editorials in the Toronto Star, the Globe & Mail, and the ON THE OTHER HAND Wednesday, April 24, 1991 - North Shore News - 9 om the loonybin Vancouver Evening Wimp. For, verily, the land is full of editorial Throwsebottoms. eee AIDS has clearly become a hero’s disease, something that every self-respecting youth should aim at catching. For months, the CBC has been doing a weekly feature called **Peter’s Story”’ in its six o’clock newscasts. And word is that this stuff is being shown at some big festival as an example of the tele- vision art. Peter is a medical doctor who got sick through what he called a single ‘indiscretion.’’ We are therefore treated to the saga of Peter's failing health, Peter go- ing blind, and Peter as a sort of Saint Peter. No one asks whether he shouldn’: have had more brains than to do what he did, he being a doctor and all. AIDS being such a popular disease, the Tories gladly tread the path of trendiness. The happy, party-lovin’ carriers of AIDS will now not be prevented from enter- ing Canada for short-term visits. Or for long-term visits either, immigrants already not having to be examined to see whether they have this uplifting affliction. Perrin Beatty, our former, misnamed health and welfare minister, says it makes no sense to bar AIDS folk from Canada. The real issue, he says, is whether a person is engaging in risky behavior. Needless to say, there is no plan to prevent risky behavior persons from coming in. Sodomy is now respectable. It is heterosexuality that is under suspicion. In lockstep with the times, the Socreds decide to capitulate to the Act-Up imbeciles and other homo militants by paying the costs of enormously expensive anti-AIDS drugs that may or may not be any good. Bring the Zalm back, say I. eee Have just read Winston Chur- chili’s great History of the English-Speaking Peoples. And did you know that the old man was a racist? There are constant references to “the Island race’’ which he seein- RCMP issue parks warning THE NORTH Vancouver RCMP warn that the enforcement of reg- ulations covering noise, alcohol consumption and littering will be fully applied during the ‘‘slow pitch season”’ in local parks. Said North Vancouver RCMP Supt. Robert Byam, ‘“‘It’s that time of year again when the popu- Jar recreation activity of slow pitch gets under way in our parks, recreation and school ground fa- cilities. It is a fun activity that is involving more and more people every year. “Allied to this is the increasing iHegal consumption of alcohol, lit- tering and noise that results. This season, the North Vancouver RCMP will be doing spot checks and where infractions are en- countered, charges will be laid.” ~ SUNDAYS From Noon - 4pm For Skeet or Trap Shooting FOR INFORMATION & LESSONS CALL KATHY WEST 985-0853 “f $10.00 ed to think gave something special to the world, together with its now diminishing branches in the U.S. and the white dominions. But I digress. : He quotes an early 18th century critic on the Teries: ‘*A Tory is a monster with an English face, a French heart, and an Irish conscience. A creature of large forehead, prodigious mouth, supple hams, and no brains. They are a sort of wild boar, that wourd root out the Constitution... that with dark lant-horn policies would at once blow up the two buiwarks of our freedom, Parlia- ments and Juries, making the first only a Parliament of Paris, and the latter but mere tools tu echo back the pleasure of the judge.’’ C-500 mg complexed with BioFlavonoids/Rosehips for maximum strength! Reach for Nu-Life Vitamins! Min. Purchase FIGHT COLDS! SALE $589 90 caplets pe Se a en ea ms es es ms OV 1 13h. ma THE ULTIMATE ONE Canada’s Ultimate Multiple Vitamin Does anyone know of a better way to describe Brian Baloney, the rest of those blighters in Ot- tawa, and the workings of the Charter of Wrongs and Frauds? Just askin’. eee About men wanting to join the Girl Guides. Four have applied to become Brownie Leaders. But the Girl Guides of Canada object because they think their officials should be female. How old- fashioned can they be? It’s time we cut such bigotry in the bud. Who knows but that I too may want to become a Brownie Leader. Like AIDS, trendiness is catching. lite Show your appreciation with a special Secretaries flower arrangement, bouquet or _ bud vase Expires i May 4/91 fl on all Cellular Phones and Acessories Prices foo low fo print! Your exclusive BC. 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