1 USED to think that my family life was the rule, { rather than the exception. Lhad the good fortune to have a mother and father who heaped unconditional love on me, told me regularly | was terrifie and could do anything, and, vs a couple, had a respect-filled love for cach other. I realize now that, compared with most of my contemporaries, by having parents like this I lucked out. Boy, did Pluck out. When I think of most of my close friends, the majority of them had dowaright awful experiences in the nuclear family that has been held up as the ideal in this society. Throughout her childhood, one friend witnessed her stepfather reg- ularly pummeling her raother. Desperate to do something (o help her mother, she used to boil a ket- tle and threaten to pour it on her stepfather if he didn’t stop. Another friend, brought up in the picture-perfect, church-going family of the 1950s, confided that she had to watch her father heaving her-brother against walls in uncon- trollable sages. My own grandmother, a supreme survivor of the fantasy that glows around the traditional nuclear family, reised children with an alcoholic husband, and .then an emotionally disturbed one who terrified the whole family A dilemma in daycare Dear Editor: Re: The zoning of daycare facil- ities in the North Vancouver District. . As a resident and taxpayer of North Vancouver District, 1 am concerned with the bylaws regulat- ing the restrictions of setting up daycares or preschools in residen- tial neighborhoods as is happening in our area of Lynn Valley. , There is a daycare that now operates out of our neighbor’s home which serves up to seven children. The people are construct- ing a major addition to their home so that they can apply for a licence to operate a daycare with up to 20 children. There is seemingly very litte ITHE ISECRET CLOSET {Children’s Consignment Starts SAT., June 18/94 | 1844 MARINE DRIVE | | WEST VANCOUVER | 926-1630 MON-SAT 10-5PM Considering an an alternative family way with his teniper. So please, let's bring a big dose of reality --- and genuine concern for the best interests of children —- tothe issue of whether (wo persons of the sanie sex should be allowed to adopt sind raise children. The fact that Ontario Premier Bob Rae chose to delete gay rights to adoption, and the MLAs in that province's legislature votwd against spousal benefits for same-sex cou- ples, does nothing to change reali- ty: the heterosexual-based, nuclear family is not working for an awful lot of children. If it were working, social work- ers wouldn't tell us that, without question, the most potentially dan- gerous place for children — in terms of their emotional and physi- cal health — is the family. To all of you who are terrified at the thought of a child being raised by two persons of the same sex, ask yourself what a child needs most to survive and flourish. Surely food, shelter, uncondi- tional love and stability and securi- ty in day-to-day existence are at the top of tae list. I defy anyone to suggest that two people of the same sex, who feel gnod about themselves and are in a loving, supportive relationship, can’t pro- vide this to a child. As American social researcher ’ Shere Hite so accurately put it ear- lier this year, children have more that we as neighbors can do about this, especially when the final vote is decided by North Vancouver District council. One block away another daycare facility was changed from allowing seven children to allowing 15, even though 40 neighbors opposed this increase, We are not opposed to the operation of the existing daycare with a maximum of seven children because we recognize the need for this type of facility in the commu- nity teday. Hopefuily mayor and council will understand our con- cers over this matter. Linda McLean North Vancouver District Catherine Atyeo JUST ADD WATER need of “warm and mature people around theni™ than the archetypal two-parent family. Hite made headlines: by stating what should be clear to any think- ing individual: “The current slogan ‘preservation of family values’ really means not preservation of love in the family, but preservation of the hierarchical family.” It makes my stomach turn when | hear Reformers in this country and Republicans in the United States preach about family values, based on, as Hite puts it, “a golden age of family bliss” that exists in people's imaginations. Housing for local seniors Dear Editor: In your June !2 Editorial Viewpoint, you pointed out the conflict that occurs when seniors’ housing is proposed for a residen- tial area, particularly in West Vancouver. However, there are at least two fine seniors’ locations that would not conflict with local residents: @ The 600-block Clyde Avenue, east of Taylor Way. This area has SAT. JUNE 25TH 1994 100 CAPILANO ROAD N. VANCOUVER $75,000.00 IN PRIZE MONEY FIVE SESSIONS * $35.00 PER SESSION GAMES START AT 12 NGON. DOORS OPEN AT 10:30 AM 16 games per session including progressive game. Purchase tickets through TICKET MASTER at 280-4444 or at the deor. FOR INFORMATION CALL 980-4553 fH LLIC, 790750 PG RULES WILL APPLY § ily way | Do they ever raise the abselute- ly devastating effects on one in five Canadian children living in poverty, ar the lack of adequate and sale childcare tor children? As broadcaster and author Bill Richardson articulated in a recent column in The Vancouver Sua, het- erosexual resistince to extending rights to gays is motivated primari- ly by fear and loathing of what goes on in the bedroom. {is contention was nicely proved by Trevor Lautens, whose Opposing views appeared beside Richardson's. As usual, Lautens, focused on the issue most likely to stir up het- erosexuals who know almost noth- ing about how most gays and les- bians lead their lives. Expose a child to ag: y couple, and that child will fall into the debauched, perverted lifestyle of these sicko queers, Lautens would have us believe. I wonder how many homosexu- a) couples Lautens has known to any degree. I've known quite a few through my life. One of them happens to be Rev. Gary Paterson and his partrer Rey. Tim Stevenson, both ministers in the United Church of Canada. They've been together 12 years and in that time have co-parented Gary's three daughters with Gary's ex-wife, Gary read every study hie could two small office buildings and the Park Royal Hotel, but could be cleared of numerous smal! wood- frame buildings and allow for a multi-level seniors’ village and parkland. It has easy walking access to the mall, river front path- way and Ambleside Park; & The other suggestion would be for the Squamish Nation to lease a tract of unused scrub forest behind the new Golf Driving Range. Another fine area winich could give . seniors walking access to shopping and parkland. S. Ward ; West Vancouver find on children eaised by same sex partners, The results of those studies? Every one said thi. children raised by same-sex partners showed no significant differences from those raised by heterosexual partners. Regardless of the sexual orien- tation of their parents, kids were uffected by the deficiencies and personality traits of both kinds of parents, [ have only observed Gary us a most superb parent — and one who knows exactly what the crite- ria should be for adoption. “Are the parents loving? Is the (adult) relationship a good one? Exactly the same kind of careful home study should take place for homosexual couples as for hetero- sexual couples,” he says. Lautens and Collins think gays adopt their sexuality as a “lifestyle.” It defies logic that anyone would choose a “lifestyle” that exposes them to the brand of hatred blasted out by these two “pillars of family values.” {interesting also that Collins believes the fallen veterans of the D-Day invasion would be horrified about rights such as spousal bene- fits being extended to gays, I guess you need to be remind- ed, Doug, that 10% of those veter- ans would have been gay them- selves. How proud do you think they'd be of you? MP’s work applauded Dear Editor: Although I voted Conservative in the last federal election, I have been very impressed by the assidu- ous work of my MP, Reformer Ted White. He is quick to return calls, lis- tens well, does his homework and is not afraid to publicly tackle politically sensitive issues. Christopher Lambert North Vancouver ® Pearl Selection e Entire Chain Selection © Gent's Gold Jewellery © Entire Silver Selection on ail regular priced items Offer expires June 31st/94 EXPERT JEWELLERY (! yr. guarantee) Custom Designs © Appraisals © Engraving inorance Claims Located at Lyon Valley Centre - Lynn Valley, North ¥ancouver, B.C. Ph. 988-8258