TEACAPAN, SINALOA, Mexico — Not everybody around here is a Mexican. There are gringos too, each one holding undisputed title to peculiarities of habit and char- acter. Inside t).2 village are three or four houses owned or rented by people who come from north of the Rio Grande, and are thus en- titled to the vaguely disrespectful title gringo. (It’s an old Spanish word for foreigners who talk fun- ny.) A few kilometres outside of town is a complete colony of Americans and Canadians, a cluster of houses that have satel- lite dishes, washers, spin-dryers, gas barbecues, freezers, lawns, card parties, some heavy drinking and occasionally some gasping, wheezy allegations of adulteries. Except that it lacks telephones and high taxes, Gringo Gulch could transplant to suburban Los Angeles or Tucson and never be noticed. These gringos, both the residents of the village and of Gr- ingo Gulch, live a part of each year here. Some are lovable, some not and a few are not dealing from a full deck. Drunks have always homed in on Mexico. Here, if you choose to get falling-down drunk twice , every day, nobody cares. The . Mexicans will notice, but they won't care. Some comc here reeling from divorce, bankruptcy or sudden, devastating insights into their character. : Among them are one or two who detest Mexico and the Mex- icans. Why, you ask, do they come? Everybody asks that ques- tion. Nobody gets an answer. Ferhaps it’s because this is one of the last places in the world where people of their station in life can afford to have a servant problem. At any scason of the year, at least one gringo arrives who has a way to make millions and millions of American dollars here. He’s amuzed the rest of us never saw the opportunity. It may be a self-seeding bubble gum plantation or some other ex- otic crop. Or it may be yet one more scheme to coax tourists here who will put up with no-seeum bugs and no-English non-services. The get-rich people don’t stay long. Neither do those who have taken immunization shots against local advice. One enthusiast insisted that everybody living here since Day One was thicker than two planks because they didn’t put basements under their houses. He ended up broke with the world’s dirtiest, most inconvenient swimming pool. , There come also gringos who like Mexicans and are liked by them. They are usually elderly, modest and they don’t shout. EGGS AT PEPPI’S ‘New for ’92” “Enjoy any one of our six exquisite egg dishes for - $7.50 (incl. muffins, biscuits & jam), or choose from our extensive brunch menus - priced from $4.95. ‘EVERY SUNDAY 11:30am - 2:30pm : Reservations: 922-1414 Foct of 25th Si., West Vancouver Paul Pierre ] PAULITICS & PERSPECTIVES So much for recent resident gringos. There are also itinerants who come here, sometimes by design, usually by chance, flotsam of the annual wave of tourists that washes into Mexico in November and ebbs after Easter. They seem creatures of impulse. Some conceive an instant ardor for Teacapan which puzzles even those of us who like the place. This is, after all, just another village. It is not the new Athens. Casual visitors who despise the place are equally excessive in judgment. They want it known that people here had a duty to entertain them and failed miserably. “‘The restaurant closed at 6 o’clock, for Gawd’s sake!”’ The restaurant closed at six because Mexicans’ main meal is at noon and in the evening they have only a light supper, for Gawd’s sake. Whether Iong- or short-term Friday, January 31, 1992 - North Shore News - 9 Lo, the poor gringos - Mexico’s strange people 44 Some come here reeling from divorce, bankruptcy or sudden, devastating insights into their character. 99 eager to share your table, your house and your profounder in- sights. ‘*We could set up our trailer in your yard and your house could be a sort of club house.”’ Because we are so distressingly normal, we get very few gringo visitors. I think it’s because we’re dull, and, besides, our house is hidden by a high brick wall. My wife thinks it's the sign on our gate: WARNING NUCLEAR WASTE If you are close enough to read this Go home immediately Stand under a hot shower At least 45 minutes. It doesn’t bother our Mexican visitors, who don’t read English. We tell them it’s a 15th birthday notice. es However, often as not a gringo who moves to Mexico does not have his bubble well centred. One of our long-time American residents was afflicted with com- pulsive politics. He advocated that the United States run barbed wire around the entire sta:e of North Dakota, put all the lefties and pinkoes there and machine gun visitors, there are always some any who tried to get out. ‘*People say my views are simplistic,’’ he would say. ‘*But simplistic ideas are what we des- @ perately need.” He could also prove that the United States did not lose the Vietnam war but won it. This took half an hour and charts. He is in some other gringo col- ony now, no doubt proving that Gorbachev sells heroin to school kids in New Jersey. The Mexicans liked him, perhaps because he thought them so far sunk in their socialistic depravities that he never attemp- ted to convert them to truth and the Republican party. @ BiG BAR GUEST RANCH 4 DAYS/3 NIGHTS FROM [286 dj ; This historic lodge, ona ranch just outside Clinton, is in the heart of cattle country. There’s so much todo! Kom winter horse- back riding and sleigh rides to cross-country skiing and skating. All ranch meals are included; they're hearty, home- cooked and served beside a crackling fire. ow ‘til March 31st, BC Rail and Farwest SB Adventure's super saver packages can trans- port you to a winter : wonderland. Not only will you enjoy spectacular scenery and _ some of the best winter recreation B.C.'s Cariboo has to offer, but you'll also enjoy not having to drive to get there. So, take a break this winter and take the train. Lean back, relax and enjoy hot food and § attentive service while we whisk you to some of the best mini-vacation spots this side of the Rockies. At these prices, our super saver pack- ages are bound to go quickly, so don't be disappointed, book early. LIST WITH ME ] JOHN McKILLIGAN GET THE CEN-TA ADVANTAGE wo MORE BUYERS w FASTEST SALE wo HIGHEST PRICE 2% COMMISSION CEN-TA REALTY 649-4087 © 8.c.'s LAKE DISTRICT 4 DAYS/3 NIGHTS FROM 5159 Lone Butte, in the midst of B.C.’s most beautiful wilderness country, is the perfect place to get away from it all! You can enjoy snowmobiling, cross- country skiing and ice fishing, scenic lakes and unspoiled wilderness. And you may even spot a deer or two. 4 © 100 MILE HOUSE 4 DAYS/3 NIGHTS FROM ¢ This exclusive retreat, west of Lillooet, has it all. From heli-skiing and cross-coun- try skiing on groomed trails to skating and tobogganing. For total relaxation, this cosy lodge features 4 a sauna, fitness.centre, outdoor hot tub _ ff and fireplace lounge. — In winter, 100 Mile House is a major nordic ski centre- hosting Canada’s largest ski marathon. Here you can ski to your heart's content ~ downhill at nearby Mt. _— a Timothy and cross-country . 1 , . : almost anywhere! For more information, reservations or train check gift certificates, visit the BC Rail station at 1371 West 1st Street, North Vancouver or call: FARWEST ADVENTURE 688-0533 All packages include return coach class ticket on BC Rail where applicable, transfers and room tax. GST is extra. Prices are per person, double occupancy. Choice of accommodation subject to availability. All departures from North Vancauver. Some time restrictions may apply. 22 ADE a ty 4 : , ' BCRAIL +z , Ce] . 1 ‘ - THE BEST WAY TO SEE B.C. ONIN AN PEPPrSs =& on Dumdavare Bead