4 ~ Sunday, June 22, 1986 ~ North’ Shore News

] GUESS Ill have to run
for the leadership of the
Social Credit Party of B.C.

I can’t seem to pick out any
coherent vision or policy or even
a good sneaky plan being put
forward by any of the other can-

f didates.

In the end I'll probably throw
my support to Amazing Grace
since she at least doesn’t wear
three-piece suits and got into
bizarre hair long before the word
punk was invented.

Next 1 would go for Bill

_ Vander Zalm. In the turbulent
times that lie ahead, we need a
guy with a Dutch background,
somebody who can stick his
finger in the hole in the dike to
hold back the tide. Failing that,
he could at least stick his finger
in the hole in his head.

Gracie is opposed to confron-
tation and Bill is clean. That’s
nice, but, really, is either one of
those a position?

John Reynolds is too normal.
As for the others, Jet’s just say
there are too many lawyers in
politics, as it is, Elect a lawyer
and you get more laws. It’s true.
Look at John Crosbie, the
Pilgrim who landed in New-
foundiand by mistake.

I'm not a lawyer and I’m not
even a member of Social Credit,
tut [ have an Expo Season’s
Pess, and that should be good

y enough.

I frankly admit some of my
ideas may seem a bit odd to the
party's rank and file, but actually
none of them are any sillier than
the original premise of Social
Credit anyway, which was to in-
vent a new currency.

In fact, if elected, that’s the
first thing | would do. Get rid of
the Canadian dollar and create
the B.C. peso. It would attract so
many American tourists — and
Eastern Canadians, I might add
~— we'd all be able to retire or at
least get jobs in the service sec-
tor.

The key to my platform is this
simple stroke of genius: Keep
Expo going indefinitely. .

Between the offer of a B.C.
peso and an Expo that iasted
forever, who would need the
jumber industry anywey? Thank

you, thank you.

But I’m not finished. Wanna
make a billion dollars quick?
Easy~—you’ll love this. Sell

( <r

Lf

SkyTrain to Saudi Arabia! 1!
don’t need to explain that one,
do I? We're sure never going to
get our money back from On-
taric.

With all our tourist bucks,
endless Expo revenue,and a
billion petrodollars in hand, we
could easily finance the construc-
tion of a merchant marine of our
own.

Then we could send all our
youths out to see the world at no
expense to the parents. Also, that
gets ‘em off the streets, out of
our hair, and off the unemploy-
ment roils all at once.

Wait! Save your applause.
With the profits our shipyards
would make, we could launch a
whole mess of neat megaprojects,
including a Great Wall through
the Rockies that would seal the
Kicking Horse Pass.

As I see it, there would have to
be a Pat McGeer Memoria! Tun-
nel under Georgia Strait which
would head out cue west from
Vancouver toward Nanaimo, but
would make a left turn in the
middle and proceed on down to
Victoria, more or less.

Two of my other favorite
miake-work schemes are a man-
made island in the middle of
English Bay and a bridge from
the top of Grouse to the top of
Hollyburn. | also fancy an exten-
sion of the Grouse Mountain
Skyride down to Lonsdale Quay,
a monorail under Burrard Inlet,
and the creation of a spaceport in
the middle of Burnaby.

There would be no problem
making Vancouver into a fabu-
lous offshore banking centre like
Singapore or Hong Kong. All
we'd have to do is bring in a mil-
lion Asian entrepreneurs and turn
Howe Street over to them.

1 also have a sclution to the
Jands claim problem. Since B.C.
never worked out any treaties
witn our 200 native Indian bands,
we’li hand the province back to
them, debts and all, with the
single catch that they have to
take care of us until the rivers
run dry and the mountains fall
inte the sea.

Then I’d shut down the pro-
vincial government and_ tell
everyone to take a decade off.

Best of all, we could set up our

own Senate and put ail my }

friends in it. Thank you, thank
you. ;

FOUR LGH SEATS VACANT

FOUR SEATS on the Lion: Gate
Hospital Board of Directors are up
for election at the hospital’s An-
nual General Meeting, Wednesday,
June 25.

A total of 3,573 members of the
North and West Vancouver

Hospital Society are eligible to
vote in the election, up slightly

North Shore Pro-Life

from last year’s 3,443 members.

Approximately 1,900 ballots
were cast at last year’s Annual
General Meeting — which ac-

counted for only about 53 per cent
of the eligible voters.

The hospital is hoping that a
greater proportion of the socicty’s
members will participate in this

Jill Heinekey
926-7831 / 921-9120

tad

Protect Licns Gate
Hospital's tiniest patient
“Pro-Life Candidates are Pro-LCGH!”

Vote Pro-Life Wednesday
June 25th at Lions Gate

Hospital

984-9094

WATERFRONT — WHYTECLIFF
Stunning views of Bowen Island,
Howe Sound, and breathtaking
coastal mountains awail your
private viewing frorn this poten-
tially charming home with 3
bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, games
room, plus endless possibilities to
enhance your personal lifestyle.
Very accessible waterfront (107
ft.) plus pool. THE SETTING 1S
SPECTACULAR — if you are

looking for a special property and

home {only 20 yrs. old) to adapt
to your lifestyle, call me. Now
reduced to $375,000.

Bob Hunter Board elections Wednesday

®@ strictly personal ®

year’s balloting to ensure that the
elected board of directors is a true
representation of the North Shore

community.
The Lions Gate Hospital Annual
General Meeting will be held

Wed., June 25 at the hospital, {5th
and St. Georges. Registration is at
6:30 p.m. and voting takes place
between 6:30 and 7:30 p.im.

0 ae Sy SENSOR Sepetenn,