4 - Sunday, November 24, 1985 - North Shore News tells me, even if it has, Some people get excited and romantic —downright dippy — when it comes to a magnificent mantle of frozen crystals spread across the frozen earth. Me, I keep thinking of all i those poor worms and slugs. What do they do in this kind of weather? Skiiers, who fill me with awe and puzzlement alike, Positively go ape as soon as the snow arrives. Of course, these people are strange, anyway. For one thing they must have a low regard for life —- their own — and for another, if they can fly down hillsides on sticks on snow for fun, they might be capable of anything. Would you want your son to marry one? Ore slip and there goes the grand- children, you know? Everybody says that snow ‘‘falls,’’ but, actual- ly, what is significant about it is that it lands. And sticks. And stays. In just such a way, if things are left. that way too long, glaciers accumulate. And if you get enough glaciers, you run a serious risk of an Ice Age. All that snow is any good for, as far as | can tell, is postcards. In fact, 1 made up a card to send f around at Christmas show- fing my lonely little office sitting in the snow, and it looks darn pretty. But I happen to know if you go out and. stand around in this stuff in your bare feet, your toes fall off. *7’m sure that winter has some function in the cycles of the universe or something. It must.”’ At the sight of the first flakes drifting down from the sky, a certain part of i me starts looking over the | shoulder of its ancestoral memory, if you follow me. * According to most reports, our species was around during the last Ice Age, which was a_ horrifyingly short period of time ago. The upper end of Van- couver Island, I'm told, was under ice up . until about 7,000 years ago. I mean, that’s a blink in evolution’s eye. The Ice Age, alas, ‘it far from finished. I mean, travel further east than Hope and the world lies dead under a shroud of snow. I think of a great white scab forming across the back of the continent. If this sounds petulant, don’t mind me. I’ve been victimized by winter be- fore. Freezing my toes when I was out on a stupid Boy Scout winter camping expedition mucho, mucho ® strictly personal ¢ BY THE time this is published, the first snow may have melted (Iet us pray), but some instinct it shall return. i moons ago did nothing positive for my attitude toward Arctic conditions. I once actually made love to a girl in the snow. What can I say? It was quick. Having read my share of Jack London stories when I was a kid, [ tended, despite the sensible things my nerve endings said about the cold, to favor the fantasy that if winter did nothing else, it made you nobel. Seriously. Ask any | refugee from east of Hope _and they’ll tell you it’s true. We thought, because we suffered, we must be better than other people. It was the thing that got us | through until spring. I'm sure that winter has some function in the cycles of the universe or some- thing. It must. My only quarrel with it is a quarrel about fate, I guess. Seeing { the snow falling —- or lan- { ding — all around reminds me of just how flakey everything really is. Ahem. But there is a peculiar twist to my relationship { with snow. You knew I would get to the kinky part. It’s this: if | go away to a jungle where it is ge- nuinely hot and no trace of snow is ever to be detected except perhaps once every 50 years at the top of the Sacred Mountain, a strange thing happens to me. Like a pre-programmed Iceman, I start visualizing winter scenes, savoring the stirring memory of bliz- zards, the incomparable spectacle of the whole world turned into a zillion glittering particles of reflected light, ‘the blue shadows, the hemlock boughs heavy with white pillows, moonlight on the perfect flank of a snowbank... ft is probably true that each one of us has a little demon that saves us from getting bored by torturing us with quirks of destiny, so to speak. Like arranging for us to be born in the Northern Hemisphere, par- ticularly the True North Strong and Freezing. So the truth is — you see, I’m backing into it — 1 secretly LIKE winter, It’s a bit masochistic. But there you have it. It might even be a death wish. A death wish wouldn't necessarily be conscious, you know. Talking to a black musi- cian in the Bahamas once, I offered the opinion that he was lucky to live in a place where it never snow- ed and only rained three tines a year. “Are you kidding?’’ he said. ‘‘I’d give my left arm for one day of winter.”’ The next time your toes start tingling and your car won’! start or you slip on the ice and break an arm or you forget to put in the an- tifreeze and the block cracks, keep the thought of that poor sweating guy hiding in the shade of a palm tree in mind. Lucky us. Yea, Northern Hemi- sphere! Danger flashing Bob Hunter fgr school kids THE TRAFFIC signal at Lynn Valley Road and Williams Avenue is flashing danger for Boundary Com- munity School children. The defective light is mak- ing it difficult for children to cross Lynn Valley Road on their way to school and Boundary parents say this isn't the first time. Since the light was install- ed in June, 1982, it has been defective several times, says Boundary parent Susan Akester. While the signal is North Vancouver District's respon- sibility, the school has plac- ed a crossing guard on the corner during busy hours at the school district’s expense. “It (the signal) is notorious for going out,’’ said Akester. ‘‘It seems to take an accident before they do anything.” “We're fortunate there hasn’t been. any injury,’’ said Boundary principal David Jansen. While Jansen says those concerned are not blaming council or the district’s en- gineering department, parents of the Boundary Community School Association are tak- ing their concerns to council * Monday night (Nov. 25). Parents want the light fix- ed as a temporary measure and eventually replaced with a more dependable mecha- nism. Norman Nikkel, super- visor of traffic operations for the District of North Vancouver says there has been more difficulty with the traffic control equipment at this location since its in- Stallation than any other in the district. The same mechanism con- trols lights at both Lynn Valley at William and Lynn Valley at Kirkstone. Nikkel said the district was’ installing spare traffic controllers Friday but the Williams Avenue light and the Kirkstone light wouldn’t - be connected. -“QUR NAME ‘SAYS TT ALL’ | “785 Park. Royal’ North — _ 270- 3733 Lansdowne Mali The district is requesting that the controller’s manu- facturer replace the problem controller with a model simi- lar to the one controlling the Lonsdale at Queens. and Lonsdale at 29th Street in- tersections. “The Londsdale | traffic controller has provided reli- able, effective traffic control with a minimum of problems since its installation in July 1981,°’ Nikkel said. Wed. Nov. 27% 28u290& 300 Thurs. Nov, 2242208 23: Tickets: $5.0 Adults $4. Seniors, Students & Children R Building Room 105 N. Campus Capilano College Studio Theatre faa CONSISTENTLY Y HIGH QUALITY AT REASONABLE RATES CAREFREE KITCHENS Marine Or er Ethinets Cabinets ReyNocDs 1300 Lloyd Ave., N. Van. 985-9527 Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9:30-5, Sat. 10-4 homtoan f P.P. S.: See you in Wednesday's. . Paper... and the ‘story continues 926-7213. 581- 7213 “Guitdford Town Centre