A8 - Friday, November 2, 1984 - North Shore News How I flun our man Doug has just found out he’s an alcoholic. He wouldn’t have known a thing about it, but there was this John Hopkins University Hospital quiz in one of the Papers. The quiz abjyured me to be honest with myself. So, being a bit like George Washington (when not sozzled, that 1s) 1 took the oath of truth, hKnow- ing that | was joining all those reformed drunks in the news business who bare their milk-sodden souls in) print Alcohohes Non-Anonymous, they call themselves. There were 20 questions And I thought | was do:ng preat until | pot to the end, where it said that if I'd answered “"Yes’’ to three of the confounded things, | was a poner Betore that | had begun to think | had much in common with saints lke the late General Booth of the Salvation Army Here are some of the things that were asked And remember, I’m not making them up They were thought Out by experts Do you lose time from work due to drinking? Absolutely not | work in the West Vanlegion when | can, andthe guys always urge Pe] get this Doug Collins me on There's no question of losing ume. Do you drink because you are shy with other people? Don't be ridiculous J drink because | am nor shy with other people. If [ were shy with other people, | would drink Ovaltine Do you turn to lower com- panions and an inferior en- vironment when drinking? Doesn't everybody? Does your drinking make you careless of your family’s welfare? Yes. But [ don’t get away with ait. She-who-must-be- obeyed threatens to remove the nosebag when that hap- pens. And | can’t afford to risk such a thing happening because the girl makes the best munchies north ot the border Has your efficiency decreased since drinking? Has yours? My efficiency decreases when | see reform: ed drunks carrying on about the evils of booze. There but for the grace of God goes God, | mutter, as old Chur- chill said of Sir Sufford Crapps the socialist Do you drink alone? That depends on what the weather's like Does drinking cause you to have difficulty sleeping? Are you kidding? Have you ever felt remorse after drinking? Yes But only when | pass out before the brandy course Is drinking affecting your reputation? I'm vlad te say itis) My Hf mailbox | <| First steps against nukes Dear Editor I read Noel Wright's col umn of Oct dOth wath some interest and COPECAES Of my have oa few bday about a own INEZ seen ad poster meeting oat othe Ul omitarian Church showing a video on the Russia vs ESN Nts Race and: nmotrrmp an ook tremely ounteresttnp pated aad apa t members ot ttre COMET UES Pde tbed to ye Poder ral wornrt fey Campenni on the video whieh wars firs fui baat oon the menibers of the panel Wath the excep Crettioeof cre tee crtbe Praed pertae ther tamewortk ane fo tel they were trot coadly qiteres: edortecanisthtirag teas threat poo Vy 1! velitpee bn et dag words, only interested in what ois gorge oom um ther small ternitory In ovour editoriab Noel Wrieht you asked the audience of ol vou mentioned that (not the PLO whe were counted) orf they bad ais practiodl Suppestrons, and that per one bad made anys Petome remind vou thar | Stow vip atid asked if any orf vou tia heard ot Beyond Wot anew parade oot proups whieh abe workin htrowiripe that tetris wall pied Stop owt obut that war oon be cropped ostien the vids vidual take Pespuorrvsrtyr dies forty ctw en brastadity ct | sould trae cndide do rete boa a | wAN re val Sports fishermen in need of protection dear Editar Tt oabavertie saree ced thy 4 ode Mauch Phiptrer bre tite bey Goce LE) Mee Petras tie chee OW Code gt “Thy Naor t bh Ss Prone News orssue and does cer deed fists then borecctrene seed ae Wowasx ovety enlighterin, 4 have always been ob tte option Chat foc tae th enn prhrascs re Ceerasx ot prabybee ats ated Crtvabre cath rescars es base trees atved stall nae devoted tothe Cormeen. cal fistyery Ae Mir NM der rrsnd stew ven thee asttne de thie Statist dearly straw that che speorr: fasting fraternity oomterbeares as three eb nvet mae bts coomomy Phe sgeorts fistrens cotphed wath oun beaotitad MmreountaAims bakes rrsers anid coastline attracts foreign vaste tke eae a expe aati. tistye tare ts awl comet Pyartre ch saa beryeoty fe eee vad steelhead brs tirigy | ee ', hy aede ' Cr ' ' rn) Wise tat cess porerte Sur sopetdae tat ated we 's ia serrtiet hiriap Tea ko tie tT ety after Pept, at Lr rr fort Not ttaatbiy vee Nev ate vevtae sea bear AT. feeds (he Saverve abd Ait ber the pepe. ved Nib bastierie: adv Oh eats spre! Posting Adv irseny Moar Keone ational Paster s © vn Pitiatiot ated othe Droudres avd Prergee Pua lly coun fastie rae. cabte toe restored ‘Yrear forerrve tt pedeoe yy abteed wert deb waehe Tanti Marvin barnes NoFth Nias. ou.. vacant eves looking beyond me. bsat down Did vou have reporters at the comterence at UBC the other weekend. put oon by the Physictans for Sool re Satur lecture by the hiastitute? Nie you aware that at the Oct 2] sponsibility and) the das otrigetat Nanmoouves session there were ciphis discussion oy roups dealing with che first steps we oan take’? Oo Beyond Woe Ee of then MS White North Vancourser / Host the 2nd Annual Christmas ‘Arts and Crafts Fair _ “ Pea NOOR TEE SEVOORGE OS peers and fellow boozers sing songs about me. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking? One did, once, in a galaxy far, tar away. But he was even more uddly than ! was He saw me out the door with a shot of the right stuff, and said that if 1 continued to behave myself, I too could become a doctor Do you drink to build up your self-confideace” If 1 did, 1 wouldn't be where | am now. What did me in, result- wise, and classified me as an alcoholic, was anwering yes to having had remorse after drinking and answering yes to the following: Have you ever had a com- plete loss of memory as a result of drinking? Mmmm. It was during the ked the drinkers’ test war. A Scotsman had a gallon of stolen Army-issue rum under his kilt, and in- vited a couple of us needy Sassenachs to lighten his load. We reckoned Hitler wouldn’t have gone away by the time we returned to reality. Do you crave a drink ata definite time daily? No doubt about it. And it’s that time now. Sales & Marketing Pony did it again in September SUBJECT September 1984 Sales by Moael October 22, 1984 sales & marketing bulletin OOONANAWN— aah To All Hyundai Dealers Hyundai Pony . Plymouth Reliant Ford Tempo Dodge Aries . Chevrolet Cavalier Honda Accord . Chevrolet Chevette . Honda Civic . Ford Escort . Toyota Terce!l 2901 2822 2763 2236 1737 1662 1561 1446 1331 1304 atulow TATIOW MOTOR COMPANY 1) 1H9', Marine Dr NV 986-4291 lf you’re not driving the winner, take a Pony for a ride today at Tatlow Motors. You'll be We have the 1985 Pony winningly priced from: Lonsdale Quay Development Company on and the West Vancouver Sketch Club glad you did. SATURDAY NOVEMBER 3 / SUNDAY NOVEMBER 4 From 10 a.m. ta 5 p.m, both days. The event takes place in the B.C. Rail lobby at \ 221 West Esplanade on North Vancouver. Admission is free and the parking is too! Over 190 framed and 160 unframed oils, pastels, charcoals and water colours . +. phis-an additional 18 booths of handmade Christmas cards, handknits, handpainted silks and lingeria, painted china, jewelry —~ all very high quality. Plus ant dernonstrations daily! And there will be a kids’ corer with kid-size tables and chairs, colouring books, and arts and crafts supervisors from 11:00 a.m, to 3:00 p.m. on both days. There will be face painting, arts &. crafts to make and a paintdn. The kids’ comer and all events there will be free. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CALL DEBORAH JAMIESON AT 689-8411 ene ben reate ge toa ene mgr ht me of hc RAN an pea