CS - Sunday, June 27, 1982 - North Shore News

Crazy or just anti-social?

QUESTION:

I am /18 years of age and
have decided that I am
either crary, exceptionally
wise, or quite anti-social.
This could be a very long
letter if I took the space to
explain why those three
alternative selfi-judgements
are pressuring me. An
abbreviated explanation may
suffice for purposes of this
letter. It seems to me that
parents and teachers and the
clergy, are all intent on
getting me to “fis in”. That
bothers me terribly.

When you think of the
family and education and the
church and the mediocre
sort of contribution they are
making to humanity, why
should I want to fit in? My
family & much better than
most families I] know. My
school has its good points.
My church has been most
helpful to me. But to “fit in”
by being a loyal and faithful
‘follower of all the traditions
and habits and mediocrities
of the family or the school or

the church, fs exactly what is
least needed by me. I'm
afraid I don’t want to “fit in”.
Would you risk an opinion as
to whether that tags me as
crazy or wise or anti-social?

STEWART:

Not crazy. Perhaps wise.
Perhaps anti-social. If you
are concerned about others
and are free of a yen to shaft
them in order to put yourself
ahead, or “in the picture”; if
you have a feeling of unison
with other human beings and
perhaps, even with the

universal process, you are
more than likely a long way
from being anti-social, even
though you are disappointed
by society's performance, as
exemplified in the examples
you gave of the family, the
school and the church.

Perhaps “exceptionally
wise” is what you are. I'll be
hoping that while you
continue your antipathy to
simply fitting in, you will
learn that co-operation and
interdependence and
concern for others will
undoubtedly steer you away

from being anti-social, and
will also contribute to your
not being named (by
yourself) on the “crazy” list.

Family, church and school
have tremendous potential.
You are not drawn to “fitting
in” to their weaknesses.
Good for you! Be sure,
however, that (as long as you
are related to them) you
bring to them the sort of
attitude and performance
that will help uncover their
potential, rather than simply
being a “rebel without a
cause”.

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling.

No pity for the procrastinator

QUESTION: I am a procras-
tinator. I have “things to do”
piled up all over the house.
Also I have lists of things to
do. But I postpone action so
much that I lose interest in
getting at the tasks. They
stay there, daily reminding
me that I am a procrastina-
tor. Is there anything that
you can say that will swtich
things around for me?

STEWART: No. Nothing.
You see, | can’t say anything
to turn things around,
because you are in charge.
You will decide to do it, or
walk away from it, or to
work out a combination of
both.

Two ideas might help you
to accept the fact that you
are in charge of yourself.

Quit saying, “I am a pro-
crastinator.” You see, that
settles it for you. You decide
you are a procrastinator, you
put the label on, for you and
others to see, which reads,
HERE IS A PROCRASTI-
NATOR. If you believe that,
you'll almost have to be
such. At least you could say,
“I am procrastinating.” If
you were a procrastinator,
you would not hate it. The
fact that you want to per-
form differently is a clear
sign that it is not your nature
to be a procrastinator, even
though, (against ‘your
nature), you puts things off.
So first of all, remove that
unrealistic label you have

been attaching to yourself.

If you choose to get the
things done you have been
putting off, or, if you decide
to get SOME of them done,
it will be useful to you to
dedicate a week of your time
to it. Or even to dedicate
one hour a day. Choose the
week, or the hour-a-day that
is most suitable to you and
DEDICATE yourself to
using it in the way you think

ce

best. Do yourself the favor
of sticking to your decision
so that soon you will never
dream of tagging yourself as
a procrastinator, even if
some things are taking

longer to accomplish than
you would like. ‘

Meanwhile, it will be O.K.
for you to put it off and put it
off until you know that
putting it off does not suit
you at all.

ae WORLDS 7
Pini st
SS GOniIeaArEry

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