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4 - Wednesday, May 22, 1985 - North Shore News

Enjoying life at sea

war correspondents in the last while, the item

I: one of the retrospective pieces written by old

that caught my eye was a reference by Charlie
Lynch to the fact that when sailors were let off their
ships at the end, they headed off separately, not
wanting anything more to do with each other,

thank you.

‘You just didn’t see a gang
of salts skipping along the
dock, arm in arm, singing
comradely shanties. They all
wanted to be alone.

Gee, I can understand that.

I've been on quite a few
cruises. Some of them were
no more than a couple of
minutes long — before, for
instance, the engine conked
out or the skipper forgot to
untie the boat from the dock
and we all fell overboard
laughing.

Those, of course, were the
easy ones. Other voyages
lasted as much as, groan,
three months. -

Frankly, 1} don't unders-
tand how the fellows in the
navy did it during the war.
They were on those ships
sometimes three years
together, the same crew.

That's plenty of time to

THE "FIRST B.C. Book
‘ Prizes will be awarded this
year. Four prizes will. be
awarded ‘Bt a gala pres-
entation in October.

‘Bill Duthie Booksellers’
Choice will be awarded to
the. publisher of the book
to be the best
published in terms of initia-
tive, content, presentation
and quality. The book must
be published by a British
Columbia-owned and
operated book publisher,

Cash prizes wili be given
to the winning authors in the
following categories:

Roderick Haig-Brown
Regional Prize will be given
to the author of the book
that contributes most to an
enjoyment and understan-
ding of British Columbia.
The book may be written
and published anywhere in
Canada.

Ethel Wilson Fiction Prize
will be given to an outstan-
ding work of fiction by an
author residing in British
Columbia three. of the last
five years and “published
anywhere in. Canada. The
fiction prize includes poetry,
drama, children’s books,
novels and short stories.

, Gotu ff. Mazzei &
“Schmidt
: #201- 585 L6th St.
_West Vancouver

ie al

find out everything you ever
wanted to knew, and quite a
bit more, actually, about
everybody on board, right
down to their last festering
little hangup.

A friend of mine who nas
done a lot of cruising on lux-
ury liners tells me that after a
week, even the Beautiful Peo-
ple start to bite each other’s
ankles.

Certainly at the other end
of the entertainment scale,
that is, on fishboats, the boys
can get surly pretty fast.
That’s why fishing captains
have to be such mean,
cranky, macho characters.

I recall being on a fishboat
once, working as a deckhand.
The first mate was a
300-pound guy who chewed
snoose. He had this utterly
charming habit of hukking it

strictly
personal

by
Bob Hunter
Ee eee

minutes. Made you kind of
nervous that you might get in
the way.

After about 15 minutes on
board with this gentleman, |
wanted to drive a pike pole

into the ocean every few"t through his face. It wasn’t

too long before him and
another 300-pound _fisher-
man were crunching up
against each other, gurgling
with mutual loathing and the
urge to kill. At which point,
enter the captain, weighing in
at 400 pounds.

And it's not
underevolved mates, either.
Once, travelling on a luxury
hotel barge down The
Thames, ! watched in horror
as a retired school teacher, a
delightful soul, it seemed,
slowly charged into a red-
eyed alcoholic whose favorite
pastime became baiting the
other little old ladies on
board, with such cute taunts
as: **Lesbian!’’

A good, cruel twist of fate
is to end up sharing the watch
with somebody who seems so
shy they can hardly speak.
Ah, thank goodness! A
chance to get away from the
other babblemouths. But no,
the silent partner turns out to
be a closet Don Rickles.

It's when a crisis comes at
sea that the warts really roar.

The.calm, far-seeing skip-
per bumps his head on
something in the engine
rooms and promptly throws a

prizes awarded

Hubert Evans Non-Fiction
Prize will be given to an
author of an outstanding
work of non-fiction. Non-
fiction will include literary
criticism, history, biography,
autobiography and _ belles
lettres. The author must
meet the B.C. residency re-
quirement, and the book
may be published anywhere
in Canada.

Deadline for submissions
is Friday, June 28. A fee of
$10 is payable with each title
submission,and books must
be copyright 1984. There will
be three judges in each cate-
gory, so at least one copy of
the book must be submitted.
Books may be submitted by
either publishers or authors.

B.c. Book Prizes is a
non-profit’ organization
formed to recognize the cul-
tural significance and con-
tribution made by British
Columbia; writers and
publishers. To date, funds
have been received from the
City of Vancouver, and
from the associations of
writers, booksellers,
publishers and librarians.

For more information,
call: Mr. Tony Gregson or
Ms. K.O. Kanne at 734-1611

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just’

tantrum... The cook gets
seasick, leaving everyone else
to Starve... The engineer
who, it turns out, was actual-
ly into planes, not boats,
neglects to pump the bilge,
with the result that the engine
gets flooded... The guy who
claims to have navigated the
Atlantic can't remember
which side of the boat the
green light's on...

And then there’s the

passenger whose been to sea
“a thousand times but who

nevertheless manages to
block up the head by dispos-
ing of a cigarette package in
there, or something.

Although the all-time
classic drama-at-sea occurs
when you have a yacht with
two owners, both of them on
board as you enter Yuklata
Rapids with the tide running,
and the rudder snaps. See the
co-owners fight for the helm.
See everyone drown.

Ah, the sea. The things you
see.

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