Doug Collin ® vel tis straight @ THOSE WHO dare to cast their peepers on this column will know that | periodically become pompous and hand out the Mary Collins Goiden Turkey Awards in honor of the North Shore MP having made the worst speech in Parliament. That time To Liberal Leader John Turner; for being se craven as to jump on the bandwagon and de- mand that South Africa capitulate to our ridiculous demands ‘‘by Christinas’' or face total sanctions and withdrawal of diplomatic recognition A real mugwump, this guy. To the NDP's Pauline Jewett, a PhD. and one of the dumbest dames around; for suggesting that murder in defence of the black vote is no crime. Is this fem Canada’s Barry Goldwater in drag? To the NDP itself, which would have us quit NATO and NORAD and give Moscow even more to cheer about. Money thus saved would go to Lesbians On The March, or for teaching Tibetan in Manitoba. To Mila Baloney:; for showing us how a prime minister's wife can be bereft of brains in trying to make immigrants of Frenchmen who teach her kids. A big laugh, this one, so let’s hear it for lovely Mila. To the Great Baloney himself; for receiving terrorist Oliver Tam- ' bo of the African National Con- gress and at the same time going on his hands and knees to Jewish pressure groups to say that Presi- dent Kurt Waldheim of Austria is not welcome here. Another prize for Mr. Baloney, folks, om account of how he allowed Quebec boss Robert Bourassa to chair the Franco- phoney conference. But don't bet } on his asking Bill Vander Zalm to chair the Commonwealth Conference. To the Letter Carriers Union; for claiming it would be a threat to job security if posties used their cars to deliver mail. That would allow them to do their rounds more quickly, you see, and maybe fewer posties would be needed. Watch for the mail to be delivered by guys on their hands and knees, that making for a busier day. To Minister of Energy Marcel Masse; for unashamedly hiring French Canadians in the name of bilingualism and to hell with English Canadians who speak French. To the jerks in Ottawa who is upon us again, so here goes. stipulated that anyone upplying for a job in the Canadian Pavilion at Expo 8&8 in Australia must be bilingual, with the result that Greg McFarlane of West Vancouver is out of luck. To the Greenpeace loonies who, in their demented desire to harass the friendly U.S. Navy, held up the traffic on the Lion's Gate Bridge. To the big Canadian banks who didn't have any more brains than to lend billions of dollars to Third World countries, with the result that Chey will be able to claim tax- deductible losses that will be borne by the taxpayer. To the Tory government; for wiping out hundreds of millions in “loans” granted to Franco-phony countries and other basket cases. To Federal Health Minister Jake Epp; for being a pea-headed puritan and plotting to prevent the tobacco companies from advertising. To the Tory cabinet; for allow- ing Sinclair Stevens to charge $600,000 worth of legal fees to thee and me in his conflict of in- terest inquiry. To Joe Clark; for going to Poland and stating, wide-eyed, that the commie dictators there were “more liberal’ than he ex- pected. One of history's major bonk-heads, is Joe. To Joe Mathias of the Squamish Band; for being dumb enough to tell his Indian brothers they should use force to ‘strangle the country’? if they don’t get what they want. To Bill Vander Zalm; for panicking when David Suzuki and Co. coughed, and doing a sellout job on South Moresby. To BCTV Newshour; for doing a 12-minute sob-story on those Bulgarian ‘‘refugees’’ who are less persecuted than [ am, and for whining that such phonies were “forced to apply for welfare’’. To NDP immigration critic Dan Heap, Liberal immigration critic Sergio Marchi, Rabbi Gunther Plaut of Toronto, Anglican Ar- chbishop Ted Scott and a host of other nitwits who are doing their best to wreck laws that would stop more phony refugees barging into this country. Family settles M Creek law suit out of court A SUIT seeking $602,000 in dam- ages from the provincial gov- ernment and BC Rail over the disastrous 1981 M Creek mudslide has been settled out of court after the family behind the suit claimed it could not afford to pay the legal bills from an extended court battle. Jack and Mabel Stainsby and their son, Glen, who were seeking the damages after they lost their home, located at the mouth of M Creek off the Squamish Highway, and possessions in the Oct. 28, 1981 mudslide, accepted a $135,000 settlement after they claimed they did not have the money to continue a suit that law- yers estimated could stretch to nine weeks, David Donohoe, the lawyer rep- resenting the Stainsbys, alleged the provincial forest ministry was ini- tially negligent in authorizing ex- tensive logging and providing in- adequate reforestation in the area, thereby increasing the possibility of mudslides on the highway. Donohoe also criticized the pro- vincial ministry of highways for failing to recognize what he alleged was the negligent design of the M Creek bridge. BC Rail, Donohoe maintained, was negligent in failing to ensure that its bridge over the creek was designed with sufficient clearance. The Stainsbys were originally paid $104,000 compensation under the Provincial Emergency fund after they were washed out, and the latest settlement of $135,000 will give them a total of $239,000 in compensation. S NORTH Versatile fixes a Princess Vancouver's Versatile Pacifie Shipyards Inc. will drydock the flagship of the P&O-Princess Cruises fleet. The 45,000-ton Royal Princess, which was based in Vancouver this summer for Alaskan cruises, will be drydocked at the North Van- couver shipyard Sept. 25 for post- season repair and inspection. 9 - Friday, September 18, 1987 - North Shore News FINANCIAL PROBLEMS??? Acquaint yourself with all the alternatives, in confidence. Call for our free information booklet today “Follow-up interview without obligation” EVANCIC PERRAULT ROBERTSON LTD. TRUSTEE IN BANKRUPTCY ($04) 291-9151 September 17th—20th P.N.E. Forum Bidg. Vancouver, B.C. Thursday, Sept. 17 Friday, Sept. 18 .. 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You're invited to the 75th ANNI VERSARY BALL PARK ROYAL — ~ NORTH MALL Saturday, October 24th, 1987 8:00 p.m. — 1:00 a.m. Enjoy an evening of Entertainment — Music — Dancing and A wonderful sampling of foods from popular West Vancouver restaurants Dinner Dress or Creative Nostalgic Costume Door Prizes Costume Prizes Tickets $25 (Tables may be reserved) Available at Park Royal Lottery Centres Recreation Centre Eagle Harbour Community Centre