4 — Sunday, February 18, 1996 — North Shore News HACKS IN these parts were agog at the news from The Vancouver Sun, Columnists’ heads have rolled, or other- wise been stuck on pikes in lesser places. My world-wide spy network told me that Trevor Lautens was at first deprived of his column entirely and sentenced to the editorial page, the Devil's Island of journalism, where wretches must write other people’s opinions. But then he got a reprieve to one column a week. A bad move that, if you ask me, which you haven't. A better move is that the unreadable Indian and fem propagandist, Mrs. Stephen Hume, has been consigned to the weekly Review magazine. Elizabeth Aird is reduced to the magazine, too. Pity. She showed promise and I regret that I once took a cheap shot at her by calling her Elizabeth Airhead. Denny Boyd has lost his Monday perch and been dispatched to the mag, also. Not good. He’s a superb word man who gets better as he gets older. Don’t we all? Gordon Gibson has also left. For the Globe & Mail. Which is anoth- er pity. Columnists come and colum- nists go. But this seems to be a new kind of revolution. Gossip is that the new editor, John Cruickshank, doesn’t like columnists. He prefers hard news. Which is OK by me, he will be happy to hear. He’s from the Globe, the most overwritten read in the world. Among other transgressions it car- ries long, unfathomable book reviews by Stan Persky. Plus edito- Doug Collins on the other hand rials and features galore on the joys of same-sex marriage benefits. Maybe Cruickshank knows what he is doing. We must wait and see. Certainly, the paper he took over wasn't the lively sheet it was back in the Dark Ages. Before the Furies of Feminism got control, 1 mean. It is still the “fisher” paper. But he did run an article I wrote in reply to a bunch of drivel on me by Kim Bolan, the terrorists’ favorite lady. So he can’t be ail bad. We surly locals see Torontonians as foreigners. They don't have the right feel for B.C., which is unin- clined to touch the forelock. The last guy who was parachut- ed in from the Globe to run the Sun was Clark Davey. I left. Jim Taylor left. And in the end Allan Fotheringham left. As I told Davey on my way out the door, “The Globe & Mail is written by civil servants for civil servants.” I then joined a new Vancouver paper that went belly up. Columnists are a pain, of course. municipal affairs THE FOLLOWING is a brief sum- mary’ of agendas for North Shore municipalities and school districts: North Vancouver City District Council: Monday, Feb. 19, 7:30 p.m. Proclamations: Heritage Week; Kidney: Foundation Month. ‘Amendments to zoning byiaws. ‘N.V. ;Bicycle Master Plan report. ‘Adult Crossing Guards report. ‘ Violence Prevention Awards North Vancouver District Council: Monday, Feb. 19, 7:15 p.m. Proclamations: Multicultural- ism Week; Provincial Heritage Week; Freedom to Read Week. West Coast Salmon Enhancement fund- ing. Friday Night Youth Program. Mosquito Creek trail bike track. N.V. Bicycle Master Plan. Next meeting is rescheduled from Feb. 26 to March 4. West Vancouver District Council: Monday, Feb. 19, 7:45 p.m. Delegation: Family Services of _ THE VILLAGES OF NORTHLANDS PUBLIC OPEN HOUSE The planning process for the Northlands Golf Course included a portion of land owned by Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation in partnership with the Province of British Columbia. CMHC and B.C. Lands have applied to the District of North Vancouver to rezone approximately 110 acres of land west of the new golf course, generally in accordance with the overall Nerthlands Community Plan. District 44: Next Tuesday, Feb. 26, 7:30 p.m. District 45: Next Monday, Feb. 26, 7 p.m. If they have anything to say they make readers mad. If they don’t have anything to say no one reads them. And editors have been known to go on the grog for worrying about them. Take Lautens. The hornosexuals hate him, as do professional man- haters. But he deserves something better than Devil's Island. How do you write what the oracle tells you to one day, and do your own thing the next? Wouldn’t surprise me if he starts to stammer. Believe it or not, we rotten opin- ion hacks do have our uses. Sometimes we even make news, New York Times columnist William Safire did when he called Hillary Clinton a congenital liar. No one else had the guts to say that. The late Jack Wasserman used to make news all the time when he wasn’t mopping up other people’s gravy from their plates in the cafe- teria or stuffing on free meals in restaurants. And (ahem!) when I hacked for the Sun the paper ran.full page ads showing me and a bulldog. The caption read: “Doug Collins is a bulldog for news.” So there! I wish the reconditioned Sun luck. But the first new Review was decorated with Chinese dragons. Is it looking for the Chinese vote? The best of editors can make mistakes. Malcolm Lowry couldn’t even win a Vancouver Province essay competition when he was liv- ing in that shack down at Deep Cove. What prestige the paper would have gained if it had got him to write a column. Sic transit gloria, as we smart asses Say. acta the North Shore regarding Federal Transfer Development variance permit appli- cations. Heritage Week activities report. Correspondence. Bylaws: Electrical inspection safety; Official Community Plan; signs. Payment Reductions. Vancouver School meeting is Vancouver School . meeting is North West Your choice entree served with Garden Salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing, (3233232333333 sundown on columns / y $200 Se Spending money! x NORWEGIAN #508, Kapilano 100 Building 100 Park Royal, West Van. TEES SSS DEREK A. CAVE Trial Lawyer Get the settlement you deserve. 925-7880 ARNUAL | " COMPANY CAR | CHANGE OVER SALE | et ae NS “BUY WITH CONFIDENCE”, " 16 TO CHOOSE FROM - 4 DOOR 7 SEDANS ALI. AUTOMATIC. Sourdough Roll and Belgian Chocolate Brownie. Available every day aftev 4 until Sunday March 10, 1996. Over the last number of months, the project's consultant team has been working closely with District staff and advisory com- mittees to refine the development plan for the site. The plan pro- - vides for new parks & recreation space and a variety of housing | forms including single family lots and multi family developments. A public open house will be held on Thursday, February 22, 1996, at the Ron Andrews Recreation Centre, Windridge Room; 931 Lytton Street to receive input from the surrounding community on the refined plan. Available Seven | Days a Week BAKERY: PARK & TILFORD: 983-8483 PARK ROYAL NORTH: 925-0181 Please drop by between 6 pm and 9 pm to look at displays and talk with members of the project team. If. you require additional information, please contact Moodie Consultants at 873-6418.