Paul
St. Pierre

PAULITICS & PERSPECTIVES

EVERY TIME I write about
Dr. Alex Holley his friends
phone him up and ask him
why he doesn’t sue me for
libel.

Sometimes relatives ask him too,
although not as often, I understand.
Well I'll tell you why Al doesn't sue
me for libel. It’s because I have the
‘erfect defence. Truth.

D.A. Holley, MA, MD, FRCS
(C) and FAX, retired, is known for
being all wool and a yard wide, but
he also happens to have been cut on
the bias and there's always an odd
wrinkle in him.

Unlike other doctors, he holds
the view that deafness is good for’
you and writes as follows:

Dear Paul,

J read your plaintive account of
your affliction (the deafness one, not
the many others) in the Cariboo
Observer.

I, too, am deaf and am getting
bloody tired of trying to bluff people
into thinking I heard what they said.

Instead of moaning about it,
think positive. Your misfortune is
really an asset,

Think of all the unadulterated BS
you are spared from hearing. Just

tnissing the bureaucratic stuff aloae
is a reward to be thankful for,

If you have a hearing aid, you
have the makings of a great put-
down, such as | experienced.

When J was still in practice, ant
old gent came into my office saying
he was unable to exert himself much
because he was too short-winded.
He thought it must be heart trouble.

I glanced through his clinic file
and found I was the fourth doctor he
had brought his problem to and it
was documented that in spite of
stern threats and warnings, he con-
tinued to smoke two to three packs
of cigarettes a day.

[ launched into my finest lecture
on the evils of smoking. He just
reached up very calmly and
removed his hearing aid.

Also, you have no doubt heard
about the old fellow who drank
heavily and was going deaf,

His teetotalling physician told
him that if he didn’t stop drinking
he’d become stone deat,

The old boy thought it over for a
minute and then said, “Weil, I like
most of what [ drink so much better
than most of what I hear that I guess
Pll just leave things be.”

As for hearing aids, my trouble is
remembering where | put them. No
failings of old age come singly.

However, I’m not as bad as the
old lady who weni to the car special-
ist because she could no longer hear
a thing in her left car.

He looked in the ear with his
auroscope and pulled out a rectal
suppository.

“No wonder you couldn’t hear
anything,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said, “And
now I know where my hearing aid
is.” ;

We are excavating a basement
tomorrow so I must get to bed and
be able to look intelligent in the
a.m., even if I have no idea what the
hell they’re talking about.

Regards

From the wilds of Cariboo,
where the likes of Doc Holley flour-

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ish, we retum now to the Lower
Mainland and its suffocation of
bureaucrats.

Like Dr. Holley, Keith Routley
of Fort Langley also thinks unkindly
of bureaucrats and, like so many of
us, is angry about the monstrous
government lie that Social Insurance
Numbers would never be used for
surveillance of Canadians.

He sends a copy of his recent let-
ter to Revenue Canada:

Dear Sirs:

Might | take just a moment of
your time to tell you hie-v much I
detest and resent being added to
your junk mailing lists?

Following your information-shar-
ing with B.C, Consumer and
Corporate Affairs department, you
have sent me Form 011968 request-
ing my assistance in “updating” your
records.

You are net updating a record,
you are creating it.

1 have no immediate plans for the
Corporate Entity. Consequently I
have no legal duty, and I do not
intend to send you the Certificate of
Incorporation, pick a fiscal year or
elect language to be used in corre-
spondence.

If and when this corporate shell
does anything which gives rise to
legal obligation to remit and file
with your department, I should be
pleased to do whatever lawful duty
might repose upon me.

Yours very truly.

66

Vert eb tee eens eevernare

rah Verse ve ~~

You'll Want Ta fee
IRA Berry.”

aa het ew

| At 7:00PM

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