of ee 40 - Sunday, February 11, 1990 ~ North Shore News Female musicians must dress up DEAR MISS MANNERS — There is one thing that bothers me about concerts. Does it bother you? A group appears on stage to perform — anything from a full symphony orchestra to an ensem- ble of six or seven. The men are dressed in tuxes. But the women are another story. What goes with men in black tuxes? Some years ago the women usually wore jong, black dresses. But apparently now women are allowed to choose their own garb as long as it meets the color pref- erence. Some women come in sluppy black sweaters and tight black pants and sit with their legs wide apart —~ and I am not talking about cello players. Sometimes the women look as if they are dressed for a jog in the park rather than an appearance on stage. The most disgusting sight recently was a woman whose stomach was so fat and whose pants were so tight that I couldn't concentrate on anything but hoping the seams would last until the evening was over. Maybe I sit too close to the front. GENTLE READER — The conventional facial expression assumed by satisfied concert goers — a sort of silly symphony sereni- ty, in which the eyes glaze blankly upward and slightly to the righi, while the mouth is fixed in a half- smile — does not allow much fash- ion scrutiny. But Miss Manners does not con- sider that to be an excuse for per- formers (or audience, for that matter) to dress sloppily. And in- deed, when she peeked, she found your observations to be largely correct. A long black dinner dress or an equivalently dressy blouse and skirt combination form proper concert dress for female orchestra players. Unlike the dinner clothes (Miss Manners cannot bring herself to say ‘‘tux"’ or even ‘‘tux- edo’’) for male musicians, such a costume can be put together with some individuality and in any price range. NY miss manners Judith Martin DEAR MISS MANNERS -— How do you end a friendship with someone who refuses to take the hint? Seven years ago I began a year- tong friendship (no dating) with a man with whom I had a few lun- ches and dinners and many Jong conversations. IF became his dear friend — in his eyes. He was an odd-luck case who I felt rather sorry for, and he began to make me very uncomfortable. So T began making excuses for not seeing him, wouldn’t take his calls at the office, and ended the con- versation quickly when he did reach me, That was six years age, and he stil calls. Hf [ had dated him, I could say “It's best we don't speak.”* but we never dated. Is it polite to say, ‘Don't call me any more,”* and is there some excuse J can use to make it less painful ror him? GENTLE READER — Miss Manners, too, would like to be gentle with a hard-luck case who fancies he has a friend in a lady who has refused to see him for six years. She suggests that this im- pulse be weighed against the nuisance value involved. How often does he call? If it is once or twice a year, Miss Manners suggests you allow him to continue in his illusion. If it is once a month, you might add to your usual refusal: *‘You know, | lead such a busy life that it’s rather hopeless to expect that we will be able to get together. But ! appreci- ate your thinking of me.” LOE >... PUTRI tULE ECO EL OER ED JOY REALTY !ncorporated In this time of constantly changing Real Estate markets, it is important that you engage the services of a knowledgeable, trusted agent. I am committed to providing the personal service to my clients that will NORMAN ASHCROFT enable them to make informed deci- BASc, MSc Bus: 926-7701 Res: 926-0805 assets. sions regarding the market value of their property, or purchase of new If ou are not presently working with a realtor, and you are contemplating buying or selling Real Estate — please “SERVICE WITH INTEGRITY” contact me! JUST CALL OR VISIT US TODAY TO SEND VALENTINE ROSES OR BOUQUETS Deliveries Corporate accounts welcomed Phone orders gladly accepted PARK & TILFORD FLORIST DISTINCTIVE TOUCH FLORIST (Cautteild Vitlage) 988-5959 925-4144 In our continuing etlor! to improve our CUSTOMER SATISFACTION, we would like you {o jon us in a FREE workshop on General Auto Maintenance. We wall have on hand our resident expert, Allyson Weir who will demonsirate such procedures as ure changing, general trouble-shooting and recognizing the tell-tale signs of potential venicle problems. DATE: Wednesday, February 14, 1990 TIME: 7:00-8:30 P.M. PLACE: JIM PATTISON TovoTa go“ 1765 MARINE DRIVE eS) NORTH VANCOUVER “