4 -— Friday, July 10, 1992 - North Shore News On the down side of the chivalric coin Trevor Lautens GARDEN OF BIASES THERE’S A woman I'd like to thank. However, I don’t know her name. Also, I doubt if she'd like to be identified. In fact, she might sue if she were. But she did me a favor. Two favors. First, she jolted my mem- ory. Second, she joited my think- ing. The latter was quite painful, since it is my belief that my think- ing is always perfect. Such God-like certainty might corrupt a less modest man. The incident itself was smaii. But big lessons can be drawn from small incidents, if you have a large and restless intellect like mine. {t-happened at a store. A North Shore pet food store, to be more precise. If you have a pet, you know that pet food tends to have two characteristics: (1) heavy and (2) bulky. It is necessary to keep these (wo things in mind. The woman was at the checkout. Keep this in mind too: although of a certain age, maybe somewhere around mine (see ac- companying photo, which, how- ever, has been heavily retouched), she didn’t appear to be incapaci- tated or enfeebled. Her purchase included a sizeable bag of kibble, a shallow, open box of canned food, and some rdund and roly thing that lay on top of the said canned foad. She paid the cashier — 2 young woman — for these goods. And a young lad hovering nearby asked if he could carry the stuff to her car. She answered affirmatively. And, J thought — I hadn’t paid much attention up until then — without much grace. The young fad hoisted the bag on his shoulder. Then he picked up the box of canned food -—- none too light, as any pet owner can attest. And he also had to contend with this round thing on top of the cans. 1 wouldn’t say that this required the strength of Samson or the juggling skill of W.C. Fields, but J wouldn’t try to emulate it ‘myself. The woman walked out. The lad —- mind you, every male under about 45 is a lad to me nowadays — followed. The roly thing rolled around, but he managed not to drop it. That's ali that happened. I suppose the lad followed the woman to her car, without dropp- ing anything, but I don’t know. You can imagine my thoughts, reader. No, no — not amazement that the hired hands at any store still carry things to customers’ cars. That's commonplace at most pet food stares, whose goods, you'll recall, tend to be (1) heavy and (2) bulky. That isn’t what went through my mind, like fast-forward on a VCR. Rather, I suddenly remembered that — contrary to my fond recol- lection, adjusted to my current thinking — women weren't perfect BF. That is, Before Feminism. In those far-off BF days, men, by and large, tended to be chival- rous toward women. And women, by and large, tended to thank men for their chivalry — the smal! gestures such as opening doors for women, standing up to give a woman a seat on the bus, helping women on with their coats ... and carrying parcels, especially (1) heavy and (2) bulky parcels, for women. This was the code in my rapidly retreating youth. It wasn’t univer- sally followed, but when it wasn’t, it was noted. In fact 1 vividly recall the first time a young woman flatly and firmly turned down my attempt to open my car door for her. It was on Alexander Street in Gastown, the year was 1971, the car my 1964 Pontiac convertible, and the woman was a cutting-edge feminist of the time — a West" Vancouver resident who later went on to considerable distinction in her work in Toronto, London, and the Mediterranean. All that has vanished. Except the convertible. I still have it. The point is, that episode lowered the curtain on the Age of Gallantry for me. But, in these times of gender warfare, affirmative sexism, reverse discrimination, and footl- ing deprivations of the language such as trying to cope with “journeyman” and turning the head of a committee into a “‘chair'* — in these times, the BF Count the footballs in today’s paper and win! It’s easy! Look for the footballs in ads, editorial and classifieds. Count them all up including the one in this ad and mail or drop off your entry form. in one issue each week throughout the summer, you'll be able to ‘count the footballs’ and win tickets to a B.C. Lions home game. Yes, | want to win a pair of tickets to see | B.C. Lions vs. Calgary, July 23 at 7:30 p.m. Name Phone days evenings How many footballs in this issue? (Hint — include the one in this ad) 3 winners will :e-drawn from those entries deemed correct. Winners will be notified by phone Lleadline for entries is 12 noon, Monday, July 20° 29 Lonsdale Ave., North Vancouver V7M 2H4 era sounds sensible and well- mannered to me. But that woman. She reminded me of something I'd just about forgotten. Which is: that in the good old BF days, there were some women who didn't return the small courtesies with the graciousness that was the other side of the chivalric coin. They arrogantly took them as a matter of right. And thus they were bad-mannered. And this, too, was noted. . The heart of the issue is that manners — a requisite fo7 civi- lized behavior — are closely related to, first, concern for others, and second, the prac- ticalities, The dracticalities included: a man accompanying a woman walked on her left so as to be next to the gutter, where he could chivalrously receive the mud (and worse) from the wheels of passing carts and carriages, and the washwater (and worse) in buckets ‘tipped from the upper storeys of buildings by people who weren’t too concerned about who was passing underneath. The woman at the pet shop demonstrated a lack of manners on both counts. She showed no concern for the Struggling lad, and she ignored the practicalities. She could have at feast relieved him of the pesky roly thing. I find most women of her age delightful company and conversa- tionalists: alert, knowing, wise, witty, more grown-up than their husbands — to be sure, a broad generalization, but I think a valid one. This woman zeminded me that BF and AF, there were some women, like some men, who are ess-aitches. And I won’t spell cut what an ess-aitch is, because it wouldn't look nice in a family newspaper. Also, my manners — like my thinking — are neyer less than perfect. Harrumph. Terminal charged with polluting THE B.C. ministry has laid two charges under the Waste Management Act against Squamish Termi- nals Ltd. The pollution charges against the loading terminal were laid after a ministry investigation in 1991 found evidence the ‘termi- environment. nal had been dumping sand- blasting material at the. Squamish garbage dump. _~ Fines for the offences can reach a maximum of $1 million foreach count... The company is scheduled to appear in Squamish provincial court on July 14. We’ re ling out he savings at aie THIS WEEK'S SPECIAL OFFER 3'x5' Persian Hamadan $199 incl. cst § Large Inventory, Best Selection WE WILL BEAT ANY PRICE! ATA CARPETS =| 1571 PEMBERTON AVE., NORTH VANCOUVER OPEN MONDAY-SATURDAY 10-5 pm SUNDAY Noon-Spm 984-7887