A2-Wednesday, June 25, 1980 - North Shore News

_strictly personal

"by Bob Hunter

Ectomorphic pride

You can hardly get through a single newspaper
or magazine these days without running across
another article about the plight of fat people. 'm
sure that when someone gets around to writing
the definitive history of the 20th Century they'll
point to the existence of weight-reduction clinics
as the ultimate symbol of Western society.

Certainly, as a com-
mercial enterprise, outfits
like Weight Watchers seem
to be, ahem, in Fat City.

Books on dieting. Well.
What can you say? While the
publishing industry as a
whole grows lean and
hungry, the special editorial
departments devoted to
dietary books become
bloated with profit.

At social functions there
are bound to be several
people present, men and
women nowadays, who
engage cach other in intense
discussions about their
respective dicts.

The hands-down winner
among such programs, of
course, is the legendary
Scarsdale Medical Diet
invented by Dr. Herman
Tarnower. Quite apart from
its success rate in causing
weight loss, the Scarsdale
Diet has a fabulous piece of
publicity going for it.

A young lady who helped
the good doctor prepare the
book was charged with his
murder.

Was Dr. Tarnower's killer
personally following the
Scarsdale Dict at the time,
and if so, what does this
mean? My own sweet gentle
wife started the dict a while
back. Am I to understand
mysclf as being wn mortal
danger?

The truth ts, { resent all
the attention that fat pcople
get

Why don't we cver get to

read about the plight of
skinny people? If you think
being fat is a pain, try being
skinny.

Especially when you're a
kid.

“Ugh,” the  heavier-set
boys would say, “if you turn
sideways, you'll disappear.
Ha ha.”

That really used to worry
me, the thought of turning
sideways and vanishing into
the air. It left me with a
vague feeling of not being
quite totally anchored in
reality. You know?

The feeling wasn't helped
much by the kids also saying:
“Ho ho, you're so skinny
we'll have to tie you to a post
so you won't blow away.”

Whenever there was a
situation involving  over-
crowding in a car, a tram or
a church pew, guess who
always got shoved into the
very tiniest remaining space
because “you only take up
half the room”?

When someone lost the
house keys and there was a
window stuck open not
much more than four inches
above the sill, guess who got
pushed through the crack to

o unlock the door from
inside?

een

A robust uncle of mine
used to delight in telling me:
“Kid, you're so scrawny we'll
have to watch out the dogs
don't mistake you for a
chicken bone.” Every time

he said it, he'd fall over
laughing.
I guess the worst

humiliation of my life was

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when my mother made me
wear short pants to school. F
mean, it was bad cnough
that “stovepipes” were
utterly out of fashion. But
worse, far worse, my
matchstick-like legs were
exposed for all the world to
see.
How’d you like to be
called “Toothpick” for the
first four years of your
academic career?

I was lucky, in one sense,
about pants. I reached the
age where I could buy my
own clothes just before
bebop-type drapes with 50-
inch flairs at the knees
passed forever from the
stage of sartorial history, so I
got to own a few pairs before
having to adopt more
modern styles. I loved those
drapes. They covered up my
skinny legs beautifully .

oee

Many years were to pass

A DOG'S LIFE AIN'T
SO BAD, as Pebbles
will testify, being bottle
fed her milk by owner
Nancy Olsen in a bid to
catch the judges’ at-
tention at the Folkfest
pet show at North Van
Recreation Centre. (lan
Smith photo)

LOOK GREAT...FEEL GREAT

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And, of course, I'm a
mature adult these days.
Infantile issucs, such as how
much you weigh or whether
your legs are skinny, don't
bother me at all.

Knowing what | am, at
last, and having learned to
accept it, I aspire to live a
properly ectomorphic
lifestyle, to hold ec-
tomorphic viewpoints, to be
proud of my cctomorphia, to
admit that I have = cc-
tomorphic fricnds.

Who knows? Maybc Il
cven take up wearing a
bathing suit to the beach
instead of my usual over-
coat.

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