A2 - Wednesday, December 22, 1982 - North Shore News

strictly personal

I had to take a
measurement the other
day so I could go buy a
length of electric wire.
I found I had a tape
‘measure that gave the
distance in metres.

Maybe its a sign, I
thought. Maybe it’s time I
accepted the inevitable and
started trying to learn
metric. Until now, I have
refused.

Why? The answer is as
short as it is familiar: On
principle.

I wasn’t consulted through
any known democratic
procedure. Neither were my
representatives in any
parliament or legislature in
the country.

The entire metric scam is

a Classic example of bungling —

by a bloated brotherhood of
bureaucrats slithering along
the corridors of power im
Ottawa. (There! Got that off
my chest, didn't t 1?).

The net effect of the
metric program is to add fuel
to inflation, confuse the hell
out of the majority of the
people, kill off an unknown
number of small businesses
clinging by their fingernails
to existence, and probably
increase the amount of

by Bob Hunter

alk in metric

money doctors aré making
by boosting the incidence of
ulcers.

Finally, it is a hoax, pure
and simple, to claim. that
metrication will
automatically make Canada
part of some actual in-
ternational standardization
process. There are several
different metric systems at
work out there in the rest of
the universe, and our major
trading partner, America the
Unmetric, continues to show
no interest at all in foisting
the millimetres on its
citizens.

Without the shield of a
parliamentary majority (i.e.,
a four-year de facto dic-
tatorship) the federal
bureaucracy down south
would be lanced to death by

senators and congressmen

unwelcome scheme down

the throats of the American
people.

Up here? It's rule by
Whim.

And don't tell me that the
words “forced”, “goosestep”
and “foisted” are somehow
out of line when it comes to
the metric program, or
should I say pogrom?

I predict — if it hasn't
already happened —- that
someone is going to drown

here on the West Coast
before this nonsense has run
its course. As _ every
yachtsman and | fisherman
and just plain boater knows,
the 130 charts that keep us
off the rocks and shoals are
being converted by the
Queen’s Printer.

Slowly.

The fathom, which goes
back probably 10,000 years,
is changing to 1.83 metres.
But of course the hordes of
faceless gnomes in Ottawa
have to take at least an era to
make the conversion.
Result: Some charts are
metric, most aren't.

Good luck to the sailor
who goes through the gap off
Gibson’s Landing, thinking

deadlines as follows:

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hristmas week.
deadlines for ads

Because the Christmas and New Year
holidays fall on weekends this year, it is
necessary to rearrange Display Advertising

For. Wednesday, Dec. 29 issue, copy
deadline is 3 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 23.

For Sunday, Jan. 2 issue; copy deadline is
10 a.m., Wednesday, Dec. 29.

he’s operating in fathoms.
There are any number of
other dangerous shallows
along the coast where
metrication§ related ac-
cidents are bound to happen,
perhaps even deaths.

Ah, well. Despite all this, I
could feel my _ resolve
weakening as I stared at the
tape measure telling me
what I wanted to know in
metric. Give up, lad, a voice
whispered seductively. Go
with the federal flow. Be one
with Ottawa.

So I drove down to the
corner hardware store and
went up to the white-haired
gentleman who runs the
place, a real no-nonsense

e.

“Ill have 18 metres of
electrical cord,” I said.

He fixed me with a
contempuous glare and
snapped:

“Don’t use that kind of
dirty language around here,
young fella. Tell me what
you want in feet or don’ t tell
me at all!”

That stiffened my spine. I
immediately apologized. He
accepted my apology, then
said: “Okay, how much do
you really want?”

Proudly, I was able to say:
“Gee, I don’t know.”

Celebrate the New Year
ith-our Bubbly Orange Juice Brunch.
SATURDAY JANUARY 1, 1983

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