I remember

Téothache!
the feeling — somewhere

between childbirth and
third-degree burns. Here, at
home, you frantically phone
your dentist, demanding
instant relief — meanwhile
pacing the floor with an
icepack on your jaw and
thinking of various people
you'd like to curse’ with the
same problem.

Brian and I were in
Taormina, Sicily, in one of
the loveliest hotels I've ever
visited — the Grand Hotel
Monte Tauro. After a
delicious omlette and fresh-
fruit breakfast we headed for
the pool. We'd been in Sicily
over a week and by now, our
tans were reaching that com-
fortable “chocolate stage”
where you can stretch-out
on a cot without burning.

In about half-an-hour,
Brian started getting edgy. I
ignored him as long as I
could before asking, “Fot a
problem?”

“Nothing serious. Just a
little toothache.”

An hour later, he hiked
upstairs, looking a bit white.
I took the elevator and met
him at the door. “Just a
LITTLE toothache, eh?”

His reply was unprintable.

“Let's walk up the hill and
have a canneloni for lunch!”

I dodged the towel he
threw at me.

“Want an aspirin?”
“Yeah. Get me _ about
four.”

An hour later the “little
toothache” had developed
into full-scale panic stations.
Rocking in agony, he
begged, “Find me a dentist!”

Expecting no problems, I
trotted to the desk clerk and
explained the situation.

“But, signora, we do not
have a dentist on Tuesday.
He comes Monday and
Thursday and today he is in
Messina.” Great.

Messina is a couple of
hours by train. Worse, still,
the train had already left.

There is nothing quite as

mind-boggling as a husband
in pain. Brian went through
all the stages:

1. “Tough it out.” Assuming
that the problem would sort
itself out, given an hour or

so, he attempted to igitore it.

' Meanwhile, he made if clear
’ that “all was not well.”

2.-“Get me

aspirin (or
four).” At

tage, dear
Dad admitted that he wasn’t

Tarzan and wanted a little 4

sympathy along with the

aspirin
3. “HELP!” At tis point you
are expected to produce the

Chief-of-Staff for the college .

ef Dental Surgeons at his -*

bedside within five minutes.

4. “And you're supposed to -

be a travel expert!” (or a
wife,. mother, nurse and
free-lance M.D. in your

spare time). By now, fury -

had stepped in, along with
the pain in the jaw. It
became clear to Brian that I
was a useless as a cigarette
without a light.

5. “Is my will up to date?”
The final stage before death
from termainal toothache. It
is appropriate to close the
curtains, stroke the fevered
brow and hum “Rock of
Ages” softly.

It also seemed sensible to
get some help, even if only a
large bottle of vodka. I
approached the desk clerk:
“My husband is in agony
with a severe toothache. Is
there anywhere I can get him
some help?”

“Singnora, the pharmacy
is open. I will come with you
and get the medicine as the
pharmacist doesn't speak
English.”

A few minutes later, I
charged back to the hotel —
expecting the worst. With
me, I had a bottle of drops
for the tooth, some “horse-
sized” painkillers and a
bottle of vodka (for the
medical staff — me!)

“Which tooth?’’ I
demanded.

“All of them! It hurts so
damn I don’t know which

Need An Extra Phone?

- *24

% Refurbished desk phones
28 Perfect for the patio. rec room.
: work shop, etc. Full one year
3 warranty. We also hove the
se8 largest selection of telephone
3 : parts & accessories for sale in

the Vancouver area

T.V. | CONVERTER CENTRE

Of course, we Carry a full line
of televison converters!

917 Park Royal South

‘ELLIE HENDER
MANAGER

#112-Kapilano 100

925-1234

by Barbara

ee
one!”

When in doubt, treat the
whole area! I squirted some
potent gunk on every tooth
in his lower right jaw. Two
huge pink pills completed
the treatment, and I ad-
journed to the patio with the
vodka.

After hours later, old
Twinkle-Toes charged out of
bed, feeling great and in-
Sisting that we go for can-
neloni! By this time, I was
dragging my feet — courtesy
of three large vodka.

“Come on, Barb! You've
wasted the whole day!

Just guess what ['d have
done with a plateful of
canneloni, if I'd had one in
my throwing arm.

‘Cruise ships carry a
resident doctor. If you go
into cardiac arrest in Lower
Slobovia, you'll stand-a good
chance of treatment by the

INTRODUCING Joanne Hutlet,
C.T.C. recently transferred from
our Edmonton offices.

We welcome her expertise in the
travel industry, having 6% years

experience, and. first
knowledge of Spain.
Australia and others.
Please feel free to call her tor
professional consultation

Oui, je parle francais

hand
tsrael,

P LAWSON TRAVEL
+ the hold ymakors

Park Royal - North Mali
922-4131

ARE YOU CONFUSED
ABOUT FARES TO EUROPE?

CHARTER versus EXCURSION versus APEX
versus YOUTH STANDBY versus STANDBY

Our knowledge and experience can help you
decide which fare is best sulted to your

specific travel needs

it costs no more to consult one of our experts,
who would be happy to help.

Park Royal South, West Vancouver

FOR ALL YOUR TRAVEL NEEDS, CALL

926-4344

local medical staff. Dental
care can be a littl more
difficult.

A friend of mine works on
a cruise ship. What started
out as a “tittle toothache”
exploded into a full-scale
war. The doctor on the ship
gave him some pain-killers
so potent that he couldn't
serve the soup in the dining
room without dumping it all
over the passengers. He
groggily shuffled his way
between the kitchen and the
dining room, spilling the
spaghetti and tripping the
other waiters.

The ship’s doctor sym-

' . pathised and cut off the

ration of pink pills, ex-

' palining that he didn’t need

McCreadie

any overdosed dining room
stewards on his company
record. 7

The chief steward insisted
that my friend stop working
as his appearance was
beginning to put the

passengers off their food.

Three days later, much
the worse for wear, the
sufferer disembarked in
Naples.

“Did you finally find a
dentist?, I asked.

“No Barbara. By that time
I'd become so used to the
pain, I didn’t bother.
Besides, it cleared up by
itself in a couple of days.
Some of my wife's good food
and plenty of grappa and
everything was O.K..”

I called the College of
Dental Surgeons here to find
out if there was any
directory of dentists in
foreign places that tourists
could contact in an
emergency. -

Passport |
photos

“North Shore Darkroom
1527 Lonsdale 988-9813

C13-Sunday News, April 6, 1980

a toothache

So far, there is none — but
they found the idea in-

triguing so we may hear
more about it in the months
to come.

WAIKIKI *469

7 Nights, Air & Hotel

WAIKIKI 549 |

15 Days, 14 Nights, Al & Hote:

LAS VEGAS *269

8 days, 7 nights, Air & Hotel

‘LAS VEGAS *189

§ days, 4 nights, Air & Hote!

ep RENO *259

Days, 7 Night, Air & Hote?

RENO 209:

5 Days, ¢ Nigtrts, Ab & Hotel

ENTA Tours

: 66 Robson Streat
40507 K. Geo. Hwy. Surrey

689-7117

| "Reg. Travel Agent No. 157-3

TRAVEL NORTH IN ’80

Columbia.

CP

Departing from and returning to Vancouver,
from June to September, these tours vary from 14 to 21
days in duration and visit Sitka, Skagway, Glacier Bay,
Ketchikan, Tok, Anchorage,
National Park and Fairbanks in Alaska/Kluane; Dawson
City, Whitehorse and Watson Lake in the Yukon; and
Fort Nelson, Chetwynd and Williams Lake in British

Air TOUR COST SHARING
TWIN ACCOMMODATION:
14-15 DAYS FROM $1333.00 CAD
20-21 DAYS FROM $1453.00 CAD

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION
SEE YOUR LOCAL TRAVEL AGENT

VIPTA TOURS LTD.

B.C. TRAVEL INSURANCE NO. 669.4

Seward,

Guided Tours of Alaska, the Yukon and British Columbia
via ship, airplane and motorcoach are available on request
and subject to space availability.

Canada

Mt. McKinley