Wading into the female ot 1 AM not the first, but lately I’m struggling to put a new and tidy maine to an cld and common phenomenon. I refer INSIGHTS Friday, May 3, 1991 - North Sitore News - 7 to it as an epidemic strain of ‘‘reverse feminism.’’ It may have begun its spread at the beginning of the Industrial Age. It is helped along by the fact that most competitive human be- ings like to align themselves with the winners. Thus, it came about that women do not like to be seen siding with their own collectively subordinate sex. Young women — proud, ideal- istic and (until they bear children) fiercely self-sufficient — can be heard to sever the cords of femi- nine allegiance in tete-a-tetes all over the world. The statement is often made, to my guilt-stricken sorrow, to a man, The young woman, head high, skin glowing and_ belly smooth, looks 2 powerful man in the eyes and tells him quietly that, “I'm afraid that I don’t like By Deborah Holmes Contributing Writer women much.”’ There she stands, every inch an un-man in all her 20s’ splendor, denying all she will become. Some of us do this. I clearly recall my own similar confession that I was uncomfort- able with women in large groups. Though I’d always cherished the hours with intimate female friends, total immersion in a phys- ical sea of women frightened me. I know now that certain quirks of fate had cast me in that role, sev- eral that stemmed from peculiarities in my family. My mother was isolated, her relationship with her female parent in ruins. She had but a handful of close women friends throughout my growing years and didn’t see them much. There was no women’s net arcund us, no female commiseration and bubbl- ing laughter to enmesh with our own. Like so many men, my father wasn’t comfortable with others besides family in the house, so few of either sex were ever invited in. My mother, immersed for years in the usual logistics of run- ning a household filled with children, pets and schedules, rare- ly ever went out. I, like so many firstborns, was intrigued by my father’s society — the patriarchal world of business derring-do. I, like so many ig- norant children, had no idea how limited my opportunities in that same world would be. In the brief late '60s, a time of disappointing post-secondary degrees and over-rated work expe- rience, I plunged in and did my 46 The ‘otherworld’ of women is both chaotic and serene, filled with interconnected relationships that are sewn together with laughter. 99 best to swim. But, like others plowing through chilly waters with so little on the horizon, I was relieved to abandon the quest. I'd done some interesting work, made a ripple here and there, but fell many miles short of my goals. The subtle sense of humiliation has never really left me. In my travels with children, though, I’ve waded slowly into herworld another world. Many women go there easily without them, but it was children who led me. In the early shallows, there was blood, milk, offal, fatigue, and the discovery of the second kind of True Love. There was birth followed by babies, pain followed by fear. There were new quantities of joyous tears, mess and graciousness. The ‘‘otherworld’’ of women is both chaotic and serene, filled with interconnected relationships that are sewn together with laughter. Now, | feel sorry for those who turn away. I’ve come to realize that, while our men — muscular, fast, attrac- tive and driven — live their lives upon the earth, we women, with or without our bonds of children, are inseparably a part of it. Deborah Holmes is a freelance writer from Vancouver Island. Baker explains position Dear Editor: Thank you for the generous remarks in your April 12 editorial about my local government service and potential to further serve the North Shore as an effective MLA. Your suggestion that 1! should step in to the Seymour riding as a follow-up to the strong, indepen- dent, well-respected late Jack Davis is indeed a kind tribute. No doubt a number of able candidates will be considered by that hard-working Social Credit constituency. My commitment, however, was made to North Vancouver-Lonsdale and 1 am pleased with the considerable sup- port offered to me by constituents and the executive of that riding. The opportunity to represent provincially the varied interests and needs of this area with its new boundaries is one I welcome. Having worked closely with many of the residents, businesses and institutions in North Vancouver- Lonsdale and across the North Shore over the past many years, | feel well qualified to bring a strong voice of this key, core con- stituency to Victoria. Lautens wrong Dear Editor: in his column of April 12, ‘Trevor Lautens asserts that Margaret Thatcher ‘‘did quite a lot for women ... she was prime minister ... a role model.’’ That is specious nonsense. In aterm of office that spanned nearly 14 years, Margaret That- cher never once, to my knowl!- edge, brought a woman into her cabinet. This is a role model? Lautens’ further assertion that Thatcher ‘‘shook Britain into pro- sperity’”’ indicates how poorly in- er RN SOME SHOES WOULD Be AN HONOR To FILL. SOME OTHERS Pe I appreciate the North Shore News’ viewpoint, but confirm that my job application rests with the voters in North Van- couver-Lonsdale. Marilyn Baker Sociab Credit candidate North Vancouver-Lonsdale about Thatcher formed he is these days. Perhaps he should visit London and note the increasing numbers ‘‘sleeping rough’’ on the streets. In former days, Lautens might not have missed such salient points. These days he is spreading himself much too “thin on the ground.”’ This is the only expla- nation possible for a silly column that also includes padding from his column printed earlier in another newspaper. Maureen W. Cooke North Vancouver North-Vancouver Lonsdale deserves strong candidate Dear Editor: I must respond to your edi- torial **Backing Baker,’’ which appeared in the North Shore News on Friday, April 12. You are quite correct when you state that Socreds in North Vancouver-Seymour need a strong candidate to replace the late Mr. Jack Davis, but you are off base when you suggest that North Van- couver-Lonsdale’s candidate Marilyn Baker is the right per- son. Does North Vancouver- Lonsdale not deserve such a strong candidate? North Vancouver-Lonsdale has the highest population den- sity on the North Shore, most of the industrial and commer- cial property as well as the ma- jority of the North Shore har- bor, the railway terminal and the north ends of the two bridges. This constituency is the most diversified and is deserving of the talents which Marilyn Baker has to offer. . Did you intend to infer that Mrs. Baker, having been nominated in Lonsdale, would pack up and seek the nomina- lion in another constituency? No way. Marilyn Baker is a candidate of sound principles. Bill Crompton, President North Vancouver-Lonsdale Secial Credit Constituency Association Schreck wants change Dear Editor: Re: Time in Opposition The editorial regarding my Social Credit opponent (‘‘Backing Baker,’’ News, Apri! 12) overlooked the obvious — cabinet ministers are appointed from the winning side. It doesn’t matter who the Social Credit candidate is. [t’s time for a change. A vote for any Social Credit candidate sends the message that they can get away with making a mess and then running against themselves. Remember how Bill Vander Zalm ran against the record of Bill Bennett. One of the many issues in this election is whether the voters want a one-party state. Social Credit has been in government for too long. Men and women in North Vancouver-Lonsdale have been telling me that it is time for Social Credit to spend some time in op-_ position. David D. Schreck NDP candidate North Vancouver-Lonsdale Mailbox policy LETTERS TO the editor must in- clude your name, written legibly, your full address and telephone number. Due to space constraints the News cannot publish all letters. Published letters may be edited for brevity, clarity, accuracy, le- gality and taste.