$a-

“Ugly bags of mostly
water.” — Velara Ill life-
form defining buman beings.
Star Trek.

USING a quote from
the original Star Trek
series. in a traffic col-
umn may seem like a
bit of a stretch buz if:
you'll bear with me,
it'll all come together.

Every time I see an ICBC
safety message-in one of
their TV commercial gener-
alizations, I cringe.

It’s not that they send
bad messages, it’s that the -
ICBC catch phrases and slo-

" gans.are usually so vague
“ and generic that they-seem
to have very little impact. In.
- a round about way, you and
I are paying for those spots;
_P'd rather. have a larger dis-
count. oe ae .

Friday, October 15, 1999 - North Shore News

vane
i

Shaan
Conlin
signals

One of the more recenz
aphorisms to grace my TV

"screen was the one about

wearing scat-belts and saving
lives.

Drink Mellow Roast and
you'll have a lovely wife and
enjoy a wilderness view from
your back porch every
noring. Shop at The Gap
and you’!l look exactly like
everybody else who shops at

.-The Gap and everyone else

who ho shops at The Gap looks

a

NEWS photo Cindy Goodman

od you don't wear buckie up your seat-belt you could end up impersonating a goldfish on your car's wind-: ~
shield in the event of an accident. .

marvellous.
Wear seat belts and you'll

4 5 POINT INSPECTION

- - NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
— BOOK EARLY TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT

HED BQ-3.4.3 7

Lube, Of & Filter

eek All t BC CLAIMS § ACCEPTED. ae

oat en mem a ge cng

be wearing a seat beit.

Hmmm.

From what I can tell,
thete are two types of peo-
pie in the world: Those who
wear seat-belts because they
know they save lives and
those who would rather
not.

Often, people who don’t
believe in seat belts, those
who find them “tco con-.
straining,” or “such a has-
sle” or “of no use anyway”
will wear them just the same
for fear of tickets and fines.

‘While it’s true that you
don’t need seaz~belts when _
you're not crashing or
swerving or slamming on
the brakes, those seat-belt
scorning peopie need to -
start thinking laterally and |.
larger.

Here’s 2 couple stories to :

illustrate why.

I have tists friend, Pete,
who is the proud-owner of a
few fake teeth. Pete’s real.
teeth ended up embedded in
his buddy’s skuli. Pete and
Eric were passengers ii a
homeward-bound car cravel-
ling the Sea-to-Sky
Highway. These ugly bags of
mostly water friends were
not wearing scat-belts,
There was a crash and some
serious dentistry done the
hard way. ;

‘about the car:

I myself had a wondrous
high-speed run-in with a -
drunk once.

I was wearing my seat-
belt; my bricfcase was not.

~ My car was totalled but I

walked away from the scene
(the drank swam away from
the scene-as the dork ‘ended ~
up in the drink) but my.”
briefcase and it’s contents

were a little worse for. wear: '
Starting:from the: driver's -

side back-seat, my spiffy
satchel climbed the back «-
door and seemed to ‘have

made it to the ceiling where.

it promptly-opened and’.

began liberaily scattering
contents about the car.
seems to have enjoyed a =:
quick. slip-slide across the

ceiling and caught the. head-
rest of my. ‘front ‘Passengers :

seat.
From. there

e
madly:and, after a quick ‘and...

authoritative hello to my:
glove-box, landed uncere:
moniously on. the floor on’
the passenger’s side leaving
a trail of entrails splactere

Hmmn, thought 1, glad

that. wasn’t a person. =:
Indeed, I was alone on

that fateful day, which i

guess is a good thing save ~~
for the fact that nobody got
- to see my amazing driving -

» different.

a untoward occur to us‘on
: travels, the last ‘thing |: need
: f-mestl

la caring im ression

~ sage advice.”

" of mostly water, .

skills in action as I recovered
from.a higi-speed impact
with a rogue Corvette..."
Everyone seems to think
that my car just came to rest
on its own! Hmph. ;
Anyway, had my briefcase. :
been an un-belted person,
the story-would:be: mach:

: More.importantly,
might m net b around ¢

“It’s ‘not-that.1-
cularly: cate. less
w, the tickets, the,
éte.;. but shoul

: “bag-o
water ‘flailing ‘arou

things: under: cont:
- do not-want.y

across my. céiling. nor le:

uvula, ” i
In. spite ‘of ICBC (
ciarity in their 1 message; it’

Buckle’ up, you ugly bie

Be safe.:

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