News from the MotherCorp, The
year-and-a-half-old variety ‘show
Friday Night with Ralph
Benmergui was cancelled (finally)
- by the Canadian Broadcasting
Corporation (CBC) on Tuesday.
_ The half-million - dollar-per-
“episode show (ringing up a $6

million tab since October) ‘did
not succeed in attracting the au-
dience .we think. the artists
* deserve,” said’ 4 CBC executive.
‘ Highlights ‘of ‘the past season in-
“eluded a 30-second interview with
‘director: David Cronenberg,
Benmergui’s: ever-changing
hairstyle, and of course,:the ‘‘hip-
pest band in Canada,’’ the Look
“People. (One. assumes the’ band
“will rebound from this setback

_ and return to the bar. mitzvah and -

‘wedding circuit in no time.) As for
Ralphie, ‘unconfirmed’ reports
point ‘to a change in career for
CBC's golden boy. Combining the
format of ‘the Tommy \!unter
“show -—..which had a. successful

two decade run on the station —.

with Ralph’s hip . personality
-“Yooks like 2 real winner,’ an
‘anonymous. (BC: staffer said.
» West. Vancouver’s: Nardwuar, the

“Human Servicite appeared’ onthe |

“show. earlier in ‘the. season. ‘‘Be-

fore.I went on ‘they told me I was .

‘great, and .that they wanted me to
‘appear’ throughout. the.’ season,”
; Fecalled the CITR- disc _ jockey,

LO WANT, TO:
FIGHT f.

NEWS OF THE
; WEIRD
Compiled by A.P. McCredie

“After the show I was told to
never come back.” -The trip to
Toronto wasn’t a total loss, how-
ever. “With the money [ was
given for the appearance, I. went
to L.A. and interviewed Jan Brady,”
he added. Reflecting on the
show's . cancellation, Nardwuar

said it was ironic that the day Fri- .

day Night — ‘‘which | thought at
one time was my future’ — was
cancelled, he got backstage and
interviewed Nirvana's Kurt Co-
bain.

"POOR: NAIVE RALPH,

TRY A. Baowoaun| ‘YOURE NOT. £ QUIF PRED .

“FOR HAND- Te HAND

| Mobenn per!
Ne SEEN CAVEMAN

‘| commnvets be Tus!

“WHAT'S Tae NAME
OF Tits one ?

© Delgado CLANCY

A reader sent this item he came
across while holidaying in the
United Kingdom: ‘PAAARP! it
began, according to the
Sunderland Echo, when one child
kicked a football, hitting a
neighbor’s ‘car and triggering the
burglar alarm. Within minutes
both fathers were involved, flail-
ing away. At this point, Mr. A’s
wife came out and gripped Mr. B
by the testicles. This, it was im-
plausibly claimed in court, was
intended to have ‘a calming effect
on the situation.’ You will not be
surprised to hear that in two
shakes of a lamb’s tail several
in-laws, a sawed-off pool cue,
and a partially-severed ear feature
in the story. (The football kicker’s
father ended up being done for
$800 compensation and costs.)”

emae

Blaise Pugh was arrested in
Washington, D.C., in September
after he miade several boasts on a
taped episode of the ‘Sally Jessie
Raphael” TV show about having
violated his. parole. Pugh told a
surprised Raphael that he had no
fear of being exposed on televi-
sion. Federal marshalls raided his
home while the show was being
aired in’ Washington and found
Pugh watching himself on TY.

WHEM THEY Pur ME
IN ‘TRACTION, TAKE
MY Foor. OLT OF.

Goou! pun, Yeu: ‘CAN GET ME So MAD

_ SoETIMES wuthy YooR °

soccer tourney
set for weekend

WHAT INVOLVES
2,600 kids, 450 flats of
pop, 300 dozen hotdogs,
five school gyms, - two
RecCentres and a lot of
tennis balls on steroids?

By Kevin Gillies
Contributing Writer

This weekend the seventh
annual North Shore [fndoor
Soceer Tournament will take
place at Balmoral, Hands-
worth, Sutherland and Argyle

secondary schools as well as at.

the Deltbrook and Mickey
MacDougal] RecCentres.

Kids up to 15-years-old cn
164 North Shore teams will
participate in the tournament
that is put on by. the North
Shore
tion (NSYSA).

The association . oversees
minor soccer across the North
Shore.

The tournament was ‘started

hy Bob Gamel in:June, 1988

when his son was too young to
play in the B.C.. Place Indoor
Tournament’ which» was for
children . under nine-years- “old.
His son was 10. .

As his son aged one “year

each season, the North :Shore.
tournament accepted. partici-'

pants One year older.

“In the tournament’s inaugral

"year 200 kids participated. :
fn 1992 the
took control of the tournament
and in 1993 it topped out at
169 teams.
Now it-is the largest ‘indoor
soccer tournament’ in Canada

‘according to its chairman Steve .

’ Spector.

CHILD MINDERS are needed
“on Monday aftcrnoons and: one

Wednesday per month: to look
after 10 small children aged up to
three years,

“TUTORS are needed’ to help”

children who are having difficulty
with reading. The.volunteers: may

choose between working with -

children who are’ in. grades one
through three.:or four through

seven. Training starts ; at the end -

WHISTLER RESORT

| VACATION CLUB SPEC.
FROM $128 ~ $188 |
PER COUPLE...
INCL. 2 NITES DELUXE”
STUBIO. THE PURPOSE |
OF THIS OFFER Is -

TO MARKET
“WIHISTLER'S NEWEST
AND MOST AFFORDABLE

- TIME SHARE.’ me

f MOUNTAINSIDE D
- Lopoe
| EERTION cous
: _ RESERVATIONS ae
1-800-665-7174.
cee - | ane

Youth Soccer Associa- ,

SYSA formally

&& It involves 2,600
kids playing in 11

gyms over the two
days. 99

“Ht involves 2,600 kids -play-
ing in 11 gyms over: the two
days,” he said.

“7 don’t know of any other,
tournament that’s that large or
“uses. that much © gymnasium
space,’ :

Although there:was. a heavy
demand. from outside of- the ©
North Shore, Spector. said that ,
only North Skhore..teams. are. -
participating.

“In the past we've had a. few: f
teams come in:to fill an age «|
group or if we invited them in,
but this. year the demand was.

too heavy. We ran out of room — | '.:"

before we ran out of teams.”’
Teams play five-a-sidei.with
oversized hockey. nets and-the
‘ball remains in play. even if it:
bounces off side-or- end walls.
Teams substitute | players © ‘‘on
: the fly” as in ‘hockey. . . wh
The only. time. the whislte
blows is if. there js .a° foul,:a-.
goal or the end of a period: ‘>:
“Spector said. that ‘although it
can be competitive, the: toul
. Mament’s focus is fun.
Every: one of the’ players. will
receive"a plaque ., for. pa:
. ticipating.
"The ‘action starts ‘at ‘8 am
Saturday and continues until 6
p.m. Sunday. :

. EVENT JUDGES are neede:
judge school . events®.. “based "on:
creativity. and: inventiveness: “The”
regional . tournaments ., are’ held
once :.in> February. and | ‘once, in
March. :

; DRIVERS: are. needed to pick‘
up. 10 young North Shore mother
and their babies:and take them:

a, North :Shore® organization on

{WHISTLER RESORT
| JANUARY SPECIAL