48 - Wednesday, February 12, 1992 — North Shore News

A. AS LONG as I don’t
care much about the man
I'm involved with, the sex is
great.

But as soon as I start to
become attached to him, the sex
isn’t as good. He doesn’t try as
hard to please me. And I often
have difficulty reaching crgasm.
Also, | find it hard to ask him for
specific sexual practices because }
ain afraid he'll reject me.

I believe that the reason for this
behavior is that 1 become too
emotionally neetly if I care about
a man. [ think that puts men off.
And it reflects in the sex.

I'd like to be able te hide my
feelings. Are there sny methods
that I can try to hide my feelings?

A. You can’t hide your emo-
tions. And why would you want
to do that? Having feelings for
someone should make the sex bet-
ter for both of you.

Maybe you make too quick a
leap from emotional involvement
to the expectation of marriage and
commitment. If your partner is
not at the same level of involve-
ment and does not share these ex-
pectations, he may feel pressured
by you, which is not good.

The feeling of being pressured
could make him pull back and
even cause him to stop irying to
Please you in b72. Explore these
issues with a professional. What is
sabotaging your sex life once you
are emotionally involved?

Q. My best friend is a man.
Through I am _ single, we have
never had a sexual relationship.

LIFESTYLES
Emotional involvement adds pressure

Dr. Ruth
Westheimer

ASK DR. RUTH

He is engaged to a woman who I
have gotten along with well until
now.

Two weeks ago, she suddenly
became very cool toward me. I
thought I had done something
wrong and was eager to patch
things up with her. I was afraid
that I'd caused some kind of
problem concerning the wedding,
which is only a few weeks away. I
was supposed to be in it.

{ called my friend and asked
him if he knew what the problem
was. That’s when I found ovt that
ke told his fiancee that F am sex-
ually obsessed with him.

1 was shocked and hurt by this.
Dr. Ruth, believe me when I say
that I am not at all interested in
this man sexually. I don’t even
know what it means fo be sexually

obsessed!

Why do you think he said this?
He refuses to discuss it further, so
lam teft guessing.

A. 1} don’t even want to know
why he said ia! That was so nasty.
He might have said it because he
wants to end the friendship. He
knew very well his fiancee would
not like it.

You must say goodbye and find
another couple of friends. This is
a destructive relationship. 1 am
also concerned about his relation-
ship with his fiancee. Why would
he say this to her? It sounds like
he’s trying to make her jealous in
a very unhealthy way.

Q. I went to a party alone last
weekend. I was one of the last
guests to leave, along with a
woman that I know from work. I
spoke to her a few times
throughout the party, but I didn’t
think anything of it. The party
was very small and everyone talk-
ed to everyone.

There was no reason for me to
believe that this woman was inter-
ested in me. But as I was leaving,
she asked me if I wanted to share
a cab home. I still didn’t think it
was unusual. We live 15 blocks
from each other and we're both
struggling financially, so I assum-
ed she was being pructical.

Then, when she got in the cab,
she didi’t move over and was
practically sitting on my lap. I
didn’t know what to thiak. I
didn’t act as if anything was
unusual, though it certainly was!

Do you think she could have
been trying to give me hints that

NV City celebrates Heritage Week

THE CITY of North Vancouver is
hosting several events during Feb-
ruary in recognition of Heritage
Week in Canada, which is being
celebrated from Feb. 17 through
23.

A Heritage Bangie: is being
held at Forster’s Restaurant on
Saturday, Feb. 15. This event will
be the highlight of Heritaye Week
activities. The City’s 1992
Heritage Awards will be presented
during this banquet.

The guest speaker will
Michael Kluckner, author

be
and

| Loaded with
Cpiionsi

1002 GMC FULL SIZE DELUXE
4X4 PICK-UP_ARTD, v6

I Bed liner
Cruise/tilt
Stereo

heritage advocate. His most recent
book, Vanishing Vancouver, is
one of the most popular heritage
books published in recent years.
The banquet includes a selection
of dinner entrees. Tickets for the
banquet are $18.50 including GST

‘and gratuity. To reserve tickets

call 983-7351 or purchase your
ticket at the City Clerk’s office in
City Hall. Seating is limited, so it
is suggested that you call early to
reserve your space.

Another event in celebration of
Heritage Week is a_ heritage

1992

. 4 speed auto
Air
Conditioned

display in the foyer of City Hall,
143 West ‘sth St., North Van-
couver. This display uses photos

* to highlight the city’s history and

recent conservation efforts. The
presentation may be viewed free
of charge during regular office
hours at City Hall now until Feb.
20.

The City of North Vancouver
invites all interested persons to
participate in these activities. For
more information call 985-7761
(lecal 216).

BUICK REGAL

ee AT a

she is interested in me? Do you
think I should call her?

A. V'm_ raising my eyebrows,
I'm surprised you have to ask me
her intentions when you were the
one sitting next to her in the cab.

f would say when a woman putt
her body closely against yours,
that is definitely a sign she's in-

terested in getting to know you
better, You should call her im-
mediately and ask her out! She is
probably anxiously waiting to hear
from you and wondering why you
aren't calling.

fo can hear her now saying to
her friends, ‘‘f must have been
loo aggressive in the cab.”

Exquisite heart-shape
mabé pearl and
diamond earrings

FALL/WINTER §
\LADIES & MEN'S g§
MERCHANDISE

Tmonesuch

Fashion for the discriminating man & woman.

Lobby Level
Hotel Vancouver
688-9454

OPEN SUNDAYS 11-5

1487 Bellevue Ave.
West Vancouver
925-9454