QUESTION: I know you
don’t like the idea of New
Year’s Resolutions, but I
have a strong urge that has
been bothering me for. the
past couple of weeks. This

wane Be eed no & Lewd te

GEES IS SEITE Sk RFE: ts explain
i seem to want to make a
whole new start in my life
and I keep thinking the new
_ year is as good a time as any.
‘('m not into a whole lot of
probiems, it’s just that I feei
sort of second rate. © =

I’m not terribly ashamed
of my life, but I just feel like I

could do a lot better. I don’t’

- mean about my job or about
my family life [married with
2 kids) I just mean me. I have
this feeling that I was
INTENDED to be a better
person than I am and that I

just don’t do anything about .

it. For nearly two years now I
lhave fully expected to get

started at becoming more —

fulfiied, but here I am. As I

said, in the last two weeks

P’ve been thinking about it a -

TOURERESEUGRERDSM NER OGGOGRVEENOGERORORREOEOERTEE

"Freelance Counsellor Hayden:
Stewart does private counsei-
ling as well as a great deal of
group work. He can. be
contacted at 261-6242 for
information and appointments.
Letters are always welcome.
Mali them to HAYDEN
STEWART, c/o the North.
Stiors News, 7202-1138 Lons-

date, North Van.
ARENUNAGANANENUGHESUQQOOUQOEGEAUODGEUEGINDERAS

QUESTION: I have five
children between 3 and 11
years. I love them dearly and
just as dearly I love my
husband. -Because I love
them all and feel so grateful
for all that God has given me,
you will understand why I
feel so terribly guilty about a
strong fecling that has been
building up ia-me lately.

{1 have never once taken
time away from my husband
cand children and [ have not
wanted to. I am mother and
wife and am quite content,
ordinarily, to be right on the
job 24 hours a day... But,
Hayden, lately 1 have hada
strong desire to be just by
myself for a few days—or
even a few hours. I feel so
guilty ‘about this selfish
desire of mine to cop out that
{ can hardly cope with the
guilt.

1am quite religious and I
have asked God to forgive me

nan has ‘self 1

lot. Waat can I do to get
_ started? oo 7

STEWART: You have one_

advantage that you can be ©

grateful for and that is you.

1 > |

aleaaAw hawe the ‘S‘trcoe id

wwvauy SAT w © CBA Vi gts

Another ts that it seems to be

_ your very own urge and not

pushed at you by somebody
else. In replying to you I
want to respect the fact that
you have asked what to do

“TQ GET STARTED.” The

BIBCT cetan ic tr Aanide§ in
A RIND L , OLY aS UW Ssewauew, “ana

depth, whether or not you.

are WILLING to ‘‘get star-

ted,”’ regardless of how ,

you'll g0 about it, or what the _

results of your emerging will ©

amount to. . os .7 tas ”
_. | Let the big plan evolve as. you

if you are not sure of being
willing, you'll need to go
back a little farther and see if
you can promise yourself that
you are willing to BECOME
willing. So—how do you get
started?

eBe willing to become

willing to make a start. .

QUESTION: What can I do
about my mother? I’m 31 and
although we live a couple of
thousand miles apart, 1 feel."
like she still has me under.
‘her control. For example,
mother asked my . husband.
and me to be with her at New
Years. I just don’t want to
go, but my sister says

6 bay en aren F-

owve got to,. mother

. thinks she isn’t getting any
love from you and she is sc
- hurt.’’ So guess where Pll be
.. for New Years. What can I do.

‘about that woman? | a

STEWART: | Don’t ask, -
_ “What can I do about my
_mother?’’ Because the ans-
wer is, -‘“‘Nothing.’’ Ask
instead, what can I do about |
me?’’ _

As long as ‘you are asking
what you can do about her,
you are unable to think well .
about what you can do'about
yourself. You are afraid to
cut-off your mother and be |
. free of her. You are afraid to

and to keep me _ strong
enough.to carry my respon-
sibilities steadfastly. I am
really ashamed of myself but
J am longing for a bit of
solitary freedom from res-
poasibility. How.can I handle
this temptation? 7

STEWART: It isn't a tem-

ptation at all, It makes

beautiful sense to me. Look |
at it this way: your kids and

your husband all need the -

experienceof getting along
without you for a while. They
have quite likely already
entered into the business of
taking you for granted and
that is not good for any of |
them. They have never ‘had
the experience of welcoming
you back after an ‘absence
and they need that too, So,

‘even if we forget ali about

the ways in which YOU
would benefit from some

x

°Prove to yourself that you

are willing to become willing .
by DOING one thing that you

already know will be inclu-

ded in your evolving. DO it, -

bd

and calf it your, start. (It can

els

ARDU'TTITAIC: (428 at
ARIN ER TESINGY, LIRe Betting

talking with your wife more |

warmly, or not talking to her
so much. You already know

something you intend to do.

once you. get started). °Be
grateful you have started,

Canada than ack vwanrcalf “Nov ,

CLANS LAE EL GOT YUU OWI,

-what’s next?’’ and. DO it.
°Give yourself permission to .

put-off' making ‘‘the big
plan’’ for your fulfillment as
long. as it feels like a hard
task that you “‘ougit’’ to do.

begin to get the feeling you
are on the way. @Don’t get

fooled by. -the child-like

simplicity of these ideas. I
think they can be powerful
enough for any of us. Ladies

and gentlemen, I give you’

1977—it’s yours; make of. it
what you will!

_cut off your love for her’ so
you'll be without the feeling _

of obligation.

_. And no wonder. Those are

pretty heavy procedures. |
_Anyway, they wouid not help —

you. You don’t need to cut off

your mother. You need to cut _
_off her control of you. Refuse

tc allow anyone else to

control you. Instead, create

‘your own reality. Consent to
being utterly responsible for
-yourself. Then you won’t ©

mistakenly, have the need to
‘cut off anyone.

As you accept yourself. and

‘respect yourself. you can
‘create your own reality.

Then, in that state of mind,

-you’ll be able to love your

mother and manifest your
love in ways that fit in to your

true self-ness. ‘What can you
do about your mother? Not a
darn thing! What can you do ©
about YOU? ~~ Anything!
‘THEN you'll be free to love.

Happy ‘77!

solitariness, the rest of the

family need it too—even if

you are an angel of a mother
and wife,

You’ve got it into your

religious little head that old
‘nick is whispering to you that

you are bad .bad bad, for
wanting a change and a rest.
Can't you see that it is far
more likely that God is
whispering to you to be
gracious to yourself and work

out a way to give yourself a

break from your important

routine. There is quite a

possibility, that you could
become: a nagging self-cen-
tred mother and wife if you
carry on the way you are.
And no’ one wants that,
either for you or the others.
Get away for a while. And
arrange to do it every little
while. You need it, the kids
necd it and your husband
needs it. You may have to
LEARN to do it. So do it more
(han once! ; -

Instructor Madeleine Chisholm

COLOUR AND DYEING ..—-

~$35 (6 weeks) Jan. 24-Feb. 18 Mon.

aft. 1 p.m.-4 p.m.

Instructor Mieneke Mees

INTRODUCTION TO PRINTMAKING

$50 (12 weeks) Jan 24 - April 11 Mon.

aft. 1 p.m.-4 p.m. _

instructor Barbara Helier
BEGINNERS WEAVING

$75 plus $10 studio fee (12 weeks)
Jan. 25 - April12. Tues. morn. 10
a.m.-1 p.m., or Tues. eve. 7 p.m.-10
p.m. or Thurs. eve. 7 p.m.-10 p.m. |
Instructors Mieneke Mees, Madeleine

‘Chisholm and Sheila Smeaton

OFF LOOM WEAVING . .
$60 plus $10 studio fee (12 weeks)
Jan. 25-April 12. Tues. aft. 1 p.m.-4
p.m. .

Rate rarines

FABRIC DYEING AND: PRINTING

$50 (12 weeks) Jan. 27.- April 14.

Thurs. eve. 7 p.m, - 10 p.m.:
Instructor Barbara Heller

SIH.KSCREEN PRINTING

$50 (12 weeks): Jan. 26 - April 13.
Wed. eve. 7 p.m. - 10 p.m.
Instructor Barbara Heller

INTRODUCTION TO LEATHER

$35 (6 weeks) Jan. 26 - April 13. Wed.
eve. 7 p.m. - 10 p.m.

Instructor Kim Hennecker

BEGINNERS RECORDER .

‘$35 (6 weeks) Jan. 27 - March 3.
Thurs. eve. 7 p.m. - 10 p.m.
Instructor Joe Condie

_ Classes offered:

¢

“e

page 13, Jamuary 12, 1977 - Nerth Shore News

HANDMADE BAGS
$35 ‘6. weeks) Jan. 25 - March 1. Tues.
aft. o.m.-4 p.m.

_ Instructor Mieneke Mees

QUILTING a
$50 (12 weeks) Jan. 25 - April 12.
Tues. eve. 7 p.m. - 10 p.m.
-Instructor Diane Jjllings’ —

INTERMEDIATE WEAVING

$75 plus $10 studio- fee (12 weeks)
Jan. 25 - April 12. Tues. eve. 7 p.m. -
18 p.m. _

instructor Sheila Smeaton

FLOOR LOOM WEAVING

$85 plus $10 studio fee (12 weeks)
. Jan. 26 - April 13. Wed. morn. 10
a.m.- 1 p.m. .
Instructor Mieneke Mees

DESIGN AND Tapestry
$60 plus $10 studio fee (12 weeks)

Jan. 26 - April 13. Wed. aft., 1 p.m. - |

4p.m.,
(instructor Sheila Smeaton

SPINNING AND DYEING.

$35 (6 we3ks) Jan. 28 - Mar. 4 and
March 17 - Aptis 15. Friday morn. 10
a.m. - 12 noon,

_ Instructor Dorothy Darmel

CHILDREN'S CLASSES

$18 (6 weeks) Jan. 29 - Mar. 5. Sat.
morn, 10 a.m. - 12 noon.

Instructor Birgit Larsen

Back to basics, beginning with
spinning fibers and weaving.

winter workshops

HANDCRAFT HOUSE will be holding one day workshops this winter. Thoy will take
place on Saturdays from 10:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. This is an excellent opportunity to have
an Introduction to a new technique which may Interest you. Bring your lunch; coffee
and tea will be here. All supplies and equipment provided, Cost $8.00 per class:
silkscreen techniques on paper, Jan. 20; chain making, Feb. 5; belt weaving, Feb. 12;
felting, Feb. 19; black printing on fabric, Feb. 26; laco making, Mar. 5; Introduction to
tho knitting machine, Mar. 12; macrame, Mar. 19; basketry with natural matorlals, Mar.

23; papermaking, Apr. 2.

For brochures and more complete Information ploase.call 988-6912
$10 deposit with registration. Mastercharge and Chargex acceptod.

ft

ndcra

110 West Esplanade |
North Vancouver

10US

: “ CERES myaagipt peta erg SEE y opm orn MMey abe oedema EE Ee
BL elena 6 fp ee ee geek RENT fies earn

988-6912

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