34 - Sunday, August 4, 1991- North Shore News SPIRITUALLY SPEAKING e emphasizes path to truth = Sikh marriag IN CANADA, a country of inany faiths and cultural groups, marriages of mixed faiths are becoming more common. By Barbara Black News Reporter And couples, marrying at an older age, often take an active role in organizing their marriage ceremony and choosing the scrip- tures or readings. Michelle Smith of the North Shore News recently married a Sikh, Bi! Koonar, in both a Sikh and Christian ceremony conducted at the India Cultural Centre of Canada in Richmond, a_ liberal Sikh temple. “I didn*t convert to Sikhism,” says Smith, adding that one of the tenets of Sikhism is that it is ac- cepting of other religions. Prior to the ceremony, Smith and Koonar held a combined par- ty (traditionally held separately for the bride and groom) in which they participated in some of the pre-matrimonial Sikh rituals. Says Smith, “I! had a string tied on my wrist by my friends and family, which represented the link to your home and friends.”’ The bride, says Smith, often lived with the husband’s family after marriage, and so this gesture indicates that a spiritual bond still exists between the woman and her own family. Both Koonar and Smith had white cream put on their face by female members of their family. Says Koonar ‘This is part of the bathing ritual, of sending the woman (or man) off clean before the wedding.”’ The couple's marriage ceremony was the first combined-faith wed- ding in the temple. As people entered, they remov- ed their shoes and approached the altar where they tossed a token of money for the couple. Men were seated on the right of the temple floor and women on the left, as is traditional. “The Sikh ceremony is usually three hours long,’’ says Smith. ‘*But we cut the vows down to 20 minutes and then had a Christian ceremony.”" The Christian element was received with mixed reactions. The kissing of the bride in the Chris- tian ceremony, for example, raised some eyebrows. The focus for Smith and Koonar’s ceremony was the Lavan or marriage hyrans of the Sikh scripture, the Guru Granth Sahib. It was spoken in Punjabi, in which Koonar is fluent. Often, the giani (the officiating learned person) will give a speech, explaining the significance of the Sikh marriage. He explains that the Sikh gurus themselves held marriage in very high regard, and since Sikhism is a worldly religion, the gurus themselves entered into matrimony. Vhe marriage hymns describe the four-stage progression of mar- ital love, as well as the love and longing of the human soul for God. The first verse emphasizes the state of marriage being the best state of life for a Sikh. The second and third verses focus on the bride’s leaving her old life and looking to a new life devoted to her husband. Despite what westerners might label as an undue focus on the bride's devo- tion to husband, Sikhism is renowned for its stance on the equal social and religious statss of women. Annual meeting to be held at UBC From page 33 across the face, and in the third, he is hitting him with a stick.”” When appropriate, Woolf may show the work to a social worker or counsellor, Occasionally, it can lead to a child being removed from an abusive household. Most referrals come from social workers, counsellors and teachers; adults, she says, tend to seek treatment on their own. While some have benefited from short-term therapy, Woolf doesn’t believe in quick fixes. “In the case of children, | usually tell parents to give me six weeks. | don’t like to jump in and come up with a quick answer.”’ Sometimes finding answers can take years, and at $60 an hour (art therapy is not covered under the B.C. Medical Services Plan), the treatment can be costly. From Aug. 9 to 11, Woolf and therapists from four other Cana- dian art-therapy institutes will meet at the University of British 275 East 8th Ave. Vancouver 373-4267 Columbia for the Canadian Art Therapy Associatien’s 13th annua! conference. Speakers will discuss a variety of topics. Judy Weiser, a regis- tered &.C. psychologist, will dem- onstrate how the AIDS Quilt works as a process of mourning as well as emotional healing. JOINED AS one by a red scarf, Michelle Smith and Bil Koonar walk around the altar during the reading of the Lavan or Sikh marriage hymns during a ceremony which combined Sikh and Christian scriptures and vows. oe photo su In fact, in marriage, the hus- band is urged to love and respect his wife, to recognize her individ- uality and equality as a human be- ing and life partner. Koonar points out that Sikhism came out of Hinduism ‘‘ where woman reached nirvana through her husband.”’ The fourth verse of the Lavan describes the perfect love and devotion when no feeling or separation exists between the cou- ple. As the verses were read, the couple walked around the Granth Sahib each holding one end of a red scarf. The groom led while the bride followed (although the sym- bolism doesn’t always translate to the actual relation for modern couples. In Smith’s case, she decided to respect the tradition rather than debate its implica- tions.) Smith’s and Koonar’s was not an arranged marriage, although arranged unions are still common for many Sikhs. In modern prac- tice, the two usually meet each other prior to being married. Rather than emphasizing the marrying into a specific religious community, Koonar says the heart of the Sikh marriage ceremony is “to follow the straight path into truth,” Two Ways to Find the Savings of a Lifetime. After 27 years in business, Royal City Antiques and Fine Furnishings are closing up the doors of our last two locations. We're offering unbelievable savings of up to 70% off fine antiques, art and new oak furniture. We have over $2 million of inventory priced at cost or less, no reasonable offer refused. Royal City Antiques Close Out Sale. After 27 years, you'll find the savings of a lifetime. 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