40 - Sunday, February 1, 1987 —- North Shore News Lifestyles DATE CHOSEN INFURIATES PARENTS Attend the wedding DEAR MISS MANNERS — Over Christmas, our son, a recent college graduate, announced to us that he had just become engaged, with the wedding to take place in September. miss manners by Judith Martin ee We told him there was one weekend in September that we had to be out of town for an annual business meeting. As it happens, the bride. had chosen the same weekend and refuses to change it, even though there was never an explanation of a specific reason : that would have made it easier for us to understand, We have teld our son in no uncertain terms that we want to at- tend the wedding and that he should change the date. We have also asked him why they chose such a date, and his answer was, “It was more convenient for everybody.’ Evidently this does not include us, since we were never consulted. I know that it is supposed to be the bride's day, and she should do as she pleases, but I would like to know who is out of line — she for refusing to change the date, or my husband and I for insisting that we will attend the out-of-town meeting. (We are available just about any other weekend.) Our relationship with our son has always been very warm and loving, and we are still helping him out economically, GENTLE READER — Never mind the economics. In a warm, loving family relationship, it is customary for a child to announce the fact of his engagement to his Parents some time between the ac- cepted proposal and the final wed- ding plans. It is also customary for the bridegroom’s parents to call on the bride and her parents, to establish some sort of relationship before they meet at the ceremony. That would have been the time to bring up questions of mutual conve- “nience. q FAMILY LAW "] “DIVORCE M MEDIATION LAW OFFICES OF " Dougias Chalke 980-4855 0: 683-5096 _ Seunnyy Key to Fashion 1470 Commercial Drive Vancouver 255-0023 Middlegate Mall 7155 Kingsway Burnaby 524-5131 In any case, Miss Manners has never bought the idea that it is the “bride's day,"’ or even the bridal couple’s day, so that they are en- titled to trample on the feelings and wishes of their loved ones. That is not to say that their reasons for scheduling that date might not be more compelling than your business meeting. If, for ex- ample, you were told that the date was chosen because it was the only time the church or other wedding site was available, or for some strong sentimental reason, you would, Miss Manners hopes, yield and put your family obligations first. As you were not told, Miss Manners understands your distress. Nevertheless, she urges you merely to State it strongly to your son (blaming him, not his fi- ancee) and then to change your plans. Not attending the wedding, however much you were provoked, is too extreme a statement of estrangement to be used unless you feel the relationship is utterly hopeless, 95 LIVING, DINING AND HALL Residential only. excludes apts. Olter expires Feb 14, 1987 Call for details 2340 Clarke St. Port Moody sear GLEAMING 931-7333 t i i] i] ] i] t g. 1 se gps i i] ‘ ] 5 TRUCK MOUNT SYSTEM ¢ 10 times more powerful than portable type systems. ¢ 10 trucks to serve you better : ee GLEAMING 991-7333 Since 1976 503 off distressed furniture | On Friday, January 2nd, we were shocked to find as much asa foot of water in our gallery. The cause? A 142” water- pipe burst in the government offices above our showroom. For 5 hectic days we pumped out the water, dried out the carpets, wiped dry the bedroom, diningroom and occa- sional furniture, and had the carpets and upholstered fur- niture professionally cleaned; some of the pieces were severely damaged and cannot be restored. Although there are slight stains and minor damage to wood pro- ducts, the insurance ‘company has authorized us to dispose of flood damaged pieces. What bargains! For 2 days only. 50 to 70% off. Most are one of a kind. Hurry for these bargains. Feb, 2nd- ies fo 8om 2 days only GALLERY 4240 MANOR ST., BURNABY, B.C. (% block West of Villa Sheraton Hotel)