C8 - Sunday, Jaly 4, 1982 - North Shore News AN. OFTEN. REPEATED PHRASE QUESTION: Probably the most often repeated phrase in our-house is, “The trouble . with you is ... .” My- husband uses it incessantly. I come right back with it too. To he continually told what is wrong with me gets to be very depressing and also builds up a lot of anger.in me. If he were perfect and I was a terrible person, it might be different, but he isn’t perfect by a country mile and I'm far from being a terrible person.. The other day, I asked him if he would agree to at least cut out that phrase. I told if he would, I wots, You've guessed it — he with “the trouble with you is you couldn't quit it for ten minutes.” What can I possibly do to get us past this awful way we have of continually criticizing each other? I hate it, QUESTION: Once in a while I get the feeling that J] am someone really special. I feel like I may even have some splendid mission to accomplish, or something great to give. This is very strange. It makes me feel safe and warm and good and really ready to enjoy life. I don't always feel that way, in fact, all too often I feel useless and ineffective’ and e back.. . &£ Ww 0 in one feeling STEW ART: For starters let's cut the job in half. For the -next-three months.or so, do nothing at all to change HIS ways. Just.give attention to, your own part in the dis-ease that is bothering both of you, when he starts off with, “The trouble with you is . what he says your very best attention. Having heard it, you should be able to say, Silently, within yourself, either, “No,*what he said is simnlv not accurate ” Or. if my mind) that is your real self trying to make friends and gain your trust. The other way you are has probably been taught to you by someone who may have loved you but was unable to - help you be your real per- son. Crazy? Not by a long shot. You are skeptical of your real self because of your conditioning. Take the risk © not very likeable. Am I twe—of trusting your real self. people? Am I crazy? STEWART: Pay attention to those good feelings about yourself. Without a doubt (in QUESTION: What do you watch on television? HAYDEN; News. (I'm a bit choosy about it.) Sports. I like watching golf, football, hockey and tennis, but obviously I can’t catch all of it. I'm choosy about wat- ching sports too, because of the time it takes. Some of the sit-coms on occasion. And I like very much to watch and listen to what | call “good music”. Sym- phonies, for example. As I try to answer your question I am aware that I watch for certain people and tune in to them, even if they are doing something I'm not keen on. People I like and And here’s a little phrase to help you get used to it. “Listen in silence to the: wisdom of your higher Self and respect it, trustingly.” Who cares? respect, not only for their acting, or music, but for who they are to me. Why in the world did you ask that question? | Be Water Wise Always undo the hip belt and loosen shoulder straps of your back pack when Crossing a fiver OF A stream Play it Safe. oe Thre ctreactian ROU Crass SOCiety ' Dine ce Dance Music «by Johnny | Fuoco & Patricia Friday and Saturday ” give you should be able to say, to yourself, “He's right. I AM ° like that. That IS one of the troubles with me.” If what he said seems: P be “wrong”, then say t6 him quietly. “That is not so, even though I may SEEM like that to you.” If what he says seems accurate, then say to him, “You're right you know and I don’t like that in me, I'm going to change it.” (This is risky because he will probably faint!) NG Over $5,000.00 180 - 269° Days Either way, you will learn and benefit. This procedure hasn't got the slighest chance of succeeding if yotu try to change ~ him at the same time. Choose never to say again, “The trouble with you is...” Don’t try to change him in the slightest. Con- centrate on your own part in bringing about a _ tran- sformation in yourself. You | | must even get it out of your head that if YOU change a lot, then HE will. He might ask hayden stewart Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reacked ai 251-6242 for appointments for individuct, family or group counselling. a ao do: +0, of « ‘course. But - you need: to: make your own changes for: YOURSELF, not in.order'to make changes ‘in him:.“Be‘the*change you want to see“happen, instead of trying to change him — or anyone else. ; Qne of the stroubles with | _ quo ww q These term deposits will provide a high yield short term investment op- portunity for members. If you re-deposit the $5000.00 and the accrued in- terest, the 12 month yield will total 16.10% and 15.29% respectively. Rates are subject to change without notice ‘North Shore Credit Union -980- 1510 SUSHI, SUKIYAKI, * BEEF - TERIYAKI ANYO japanese LICENSED PREMISES “180 — 2ND'ST. NORTH VANCOUVER Less than $5,000.00 180 - 269 Days Community you is that you are thinking and saying “the trouble with you” too much-all together. Quit it and get on with discovering. your own real beautiful self. You can't cure your dis-ease by making the other guy healthy. Get healthy yourself. Often it is contageous. resi re taurant Five branches serving North Vancouver " Weekly Lamch Speciale Lunches: £8:30-2 p.m Dinners: 6 p.m.- Li p.m. 140 E. 2nd St. North Van. 980-6818 Lonsdale Branch 1100 Lonsdale Ave 986-432} Lynn Valley Branch Marine Dr Branch 1247 Ross Road 1080 Martine Dr 980-6556 986-1116 Village Branch Dollar Branch 3131 Edgemont Blvd. 399 Dollarton Hwy. North 985-8221 929-8111 a ‘