a ranma in initia aman ba ADE BRE kesh th iL adm nna

Hayden

Freelance
Hayden — Stewart may be -
_ feached = at -:261-6242 for

_ 8ppointments for individual,
family or group counselling.
His new office in the Plaza .

Céunsetior

‘International’. Hotel (open
Tuesdays only) is for the.
convenience of North Shore
residents. .

QUESTION:
content about how mich I

_ _ weigh. Far from being a roly-

poly hlimp-like person I
nevertheless have been in
on-again-off-again fights
-with calories as long as I can
remember and J am so sick
of it that ['m going to do
something altogether dif-
ferent than [ve ever done
before.

I don’t know what it will
be yet, but Pm through with
struggling to take off sever
pounds and then gaining
eight. What in the world is
the use ‘ofthe crazy efforts I
goto?

I've gone on every diet
you can think of and two

I am not

“Page36, April 22, 1979-SundayNews

| QUESTION: My father, who _

was born and raised in the
U.K and is now 54, , has
brought with him to Canada
- all the traditions of the old
country, and, I assume, a
few others of his own in-
vention. . wes
I am 30 and have been in
“this country for 9 years. I
feel at home here and will in
all probability live out my

. life here.

One of papa’s favourite
~preoccupations is to “know

- “his place—and stay in it”. He
_ seems to read a lot of virtue
. into knowing what “class”
‘you are in. He said to us,
| even as kids, “Know your

Soe

place. You are of the lower .
middle class and should be
_ proud of it. That is yourplace

in iffe.
dignity”.

Before papa (pronounced

Accept it” with’

paPA, never PApa) came to

Canada mearly two years

ago, I was beginning to
believe that class emphasis is

a thing of the past and that

perhaps there were no
human ‘beings ‘alive _ who
were as tradition-bound as
my father is.

Then he came and I kept
hearing the old song about
being lower middle class.
Hayden, I am nof settling for

“staying in the lower middle

‘cas. 1 want «oul of ft. Asa

matter of fact, inthe sense

he sees it, I don't believe

there IS any such class “of
people.

So there's 's my confusion.. I

‘want out of the class I have -

been assigned to by society
and tradition, and by papa,
but at the same time, I don’t
even believe there is such.a
class, So why do I want out
of ie, if I think it doesn’t
exist?

are

STEWART: Théte

‘classes all right, even if

people like you can’t believe:
it. There are, and will be
classes as long as-there are
people“ around like your

Bothered with ‘staying alive’

QUESTION: ‘With allthese

warnings © about such ‘and.

such helng dangerous to
your health, I find I am
being so darn careful about
everything I°do. Recently

“Pve been preoccupied with

how to keep alive. Surely
there’s a way to be more

Fighting the roly poly

weeks after I end it, I'm
saying to myself that I must
start again. Any suggestions?
ve thought ‘of just doing
anything I want. to do. and
letting my weight find its
‘own level and to heck with

it. I have a feeling you'll say,

“That's good!”

STEWART: “That’s good!” |

he replied, obligingly. But
even if you accept that plan,
you will be accepting along
with it some guidelines for
yourself. There is real
directive for you when you
say you'll do anything you
want to do. I presume that
will also have to mean you
will NOT do anything you
don’t want to do—like
become a roly-poly blimp.

“exuberant shout. life than -

that.

STEWART: Being preoc-
cupied with how to keep
alive can be dangerous to
your health. In a scientific
survey by a team of in-
ternationally -

psychoceramics, it was

If you_can say “to heck
with it” in regard to all these
strange diets you’ve been
attaching yourself to, you
might find yourself in-
terestingly free to replace™
them ith a general “way of
living’ that will... be
productive for you.

Get some help from a
doctor who is keen on the
values in good nutrition
procedures and enter into a

life-style rather than a 7-day ©

cucumber and pimento diet.
(Don’t try that! I just made it
up!). You may not become
sylph- vlike, but that isn’t. the
aim.

The aim is to be content
with how you are treating

renowned ,

recently established that .
over a period. of ‘years, .
. Newfoundland mice have an -

observable-tendency to die.

Before doing so, they
enjoy a lot of cheese. To you
I say, forget the traps, find
the cheese and take a friend

to lunch!

yourself and content with
the results. You may
become, much more ac-
ceptable to yourself and to
your friends, as a happy,
content, slightly overweight
beautiful person than you
are as a grumpy, blue, poor-
me dieter .who can hardly

wait for her next celebration
over losing three pounds.

in

Be good to yourself every
solitary day. Have you
hugged your scales to-day?
No you bet you haven't, so
throw them. out and hug a
few human beings instead! If
you are all right in you WAY:
(of life) you'll be all right in
you WEIGH too.

Parents dislike THAT church

QUESTION: My wife and I
are both content about our
membership and active
participation in
the...charch. The two of us
were raised in different
religious traditions and when
we came to love each other,
one of the things we worked
out together was what we
would do about church. We
studied together and arrived
happily at a decision to join
the donomination in which
we are now worshipping.

°

My wite's parents happily
accepted our decision, bat
my parenta (and other
relatives) scemed to be, In
fact they WERE, terribly
disappointed and agitated
about my move. I honestly
think my parents are con-

cerned regarding my
salvation. They probably
think I will go to hell.

They have not only been
disappointed, but have
actively attempted to get me
to change my mind, They

will not give up. Now they
are coming from Boston to
spend a month with us. What
can you say to help us get
through this month?

STEWART: Keep in mind,
above all, that they are
genuinely concerned about
you. Loving you, and at the
same time fecling that you
have made a grave crror,
they are attempting, in their
way, to help you.

You don’t like what they
are doing, but ] hope you are
grateful for the love that
prompts them to do it.
Receive them “as beautiful,
exactly where they are” in
their thinking. Thank them
for their love and their
concern and (ell them carly
in their visit, you will be
happy to hear what they
would like to say to you and
that) you will listen = at-
tentively and graciously and
give your very best thought
to it after they leave and
return to Boston.

Let them know that while
you are willing to hear them
out, you would rather not
explain yourself or defentd
your position or have
lengthy discussions spread
out over their time of
vacation.

Ask them to tell you
everything they want to
share with you and then trust
you to give it careful con-
sideration. Let them know
moreover, that once they

have had their opportunity
to say their piece, you will
then hope that there will be
no more evangelistic efforts
and that everyone will be
free to have a .good time and
spend the days you have
together enjoyably.

Listen well but don't get
lured into defending yourself
or arguing. Just listen and
assure them you will give
careful thought to whay they
have said,

Won’t use seatbelt

QUESTION: What do you
do with people who ride in
your car and won't use the
seat-belts?

STEWART: I say to them,
‘Hey, I don’t care if you use
the scat-belts or not, but
according to the law, I am
responsible as owher of the
car, and if we get stopped
and I get fined, let's have a
clear understanding that you

are the guys who'll pay up.
O.K.?” They usually laugh
and agree—or laugh and
buckle up.

hte
Iehoreheonid

aps!
2 (bated

Unicef Canada ®

“paPA a was “paying at-
tention!) who wants to “keep
. his: place”, and others, like
you, who want to climb up a
notch into a “higher class”

' even while you believe there |

are no classes.

But. we are making
~ headway. The climbing you
do gets my cheers and

support as long as it is °
from ‘one |

climbing not
imaginary “class”to another,
but rather, from one quality
of living to ariother; form,
one level of consciousness
and sensitivity to another.

As long as you are being
. the change you want to see
happen in yourself, so-called

“classes”

you, and, in time, ‘to all of

“us. Be at home on your own.

turf. And as you learn to do
that, you will be at home on
any turf. -And that s- real
class! »

| PLAY RACQUETBALL

AND SQUASH NOW! |
THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN
JOIN FOR AS LOW AS

| $250.

(plus monthly dues)

Lions Gate's economical squash and racquetball membership
is designed for families that want to keep fit and active, and
have a good time doing it! Here’s some of the teatures of the
Lower Mainland’s finest indoor racquets club

@ No court fees for
squash & racquetball

@ Beautiful viewing
lounge

@ Lockers with saunas
@ Nursery

@ Use of indoor &
outdoor tennis courts
during the summer
months

@ Resident pro offering
lessons & clinics

@ Matches arranged &
tournaments organized

@ Asocial program for
meeting new friends

@ All facilities open now

@ Convenient location —
off Upper Levels &
Capilano

For more information on this of other great Lions Gate
memberships call 980-5734. Christine or Sylvia will be
pleased to arrange a visit to the club.

LIONS GATE L}J RACQUETS CLUB

1185 West 26th Street, North Vancouver

980-5734

will bécome ’ less
- and less important, first, to