THERE I was, waiting my
turn to be served at the West
Van Credit Union when I
saw an Apparition. At first I
thought the old eyes were
deceiving me. But the
Apparition started talking.

’ The creature’s head was shaved
and it wore rings in its ears. Four of
them. They tinkled as its jaw
moved up and down. Its pants
sagged and the crotch was down
near its knees. It had some kind of
“ jacket’ on that flopped about like a

ragged flag. And it wore boats. I

judged Apparition to be about 18

years of age.

I thought he would frighten the
staff but they stayed calm. And
subsequent inquiries produced the
news that Apparition was only dis-
playing the Grunge Look.

Young Canada was on parade.

There was time to think about
what it all meant for what we used
to call God, Queen and Country. So
the Collins Fantasy Modem started

__ ticking over.
In the fantasy, Apparition was
” standing in front of my old drill

“sergeant, a veteran who had fought
in the First World War and was still
. jumping around when the second

one began.
-°* His name was Wilkins and we
‘called him Wee Willie Wilkins on
“account of his being a bit short.
_ Not that we ever used that form of ©
. address when he was around, No-
one wanted to spend Sundays peel-

oo ‘ing spuds or running round the

parade ground with a lot of gear.

On.

“Wee Willie n never did see any-

4 thing like Apparition, of course. If
-he had, his eyes would have
popped out of his head.

‘Fall in two'men and run this
‘orrible heap down to the bath-
house for a shower,” would have
been his first command, whether or
“not the ‘orrible heap needed a.

” shower, co |

: The next day, Apparition would
eh have i oeen produced for.i inspection,
. : a "

Ferry designed | locally

. NORTH: SHORE: naval architects
» .Won a contract to design. an‘ open-
: deck, 100-car ferry for B.C. Ferries.
“McLaren and Sons, a division of
: Allied Shipbuilding, will be part of
..@ design. team’ including’ Polar
Design Associates and Nautican
Research: and’ Development Ltd.

that will work on.the $18-million’

‘ vessels. ceo
BAC... Ferries , said McLaren,
. which has designed numerous com-

.. mercial marine vessels over the past “’

50 years, will'assume the lead role
for the design. .

Doug
Collins

on the

other hand

No rings in the ears, no saygy pants
and no boot laces dragging on the
ground. His trousers would have
had a knife-edge crease in them.
Even his pimples might have disap-
peared, for sheer terror. °

Wee Willie may have been small
but he could roar like a bull and he
would have stuck his nose to within
two inches of Apparition’s face and
yelled:

“That's better, you ‘orrible
bloody man.”

Today, of course! that sort of
talk wouldn’t do. Which is proba-
bly why the Grunge Look is with
us, The human rights maniacs
would be sniffing around. A regi-
ment might even be disbanded on
account of its NCOs using bad lan-

“guage. But in those days Apparition

would have had his impulses
clipped. :

What gives with youngsters who
look like dirty old potato sacks? Is
it their way of attracting attention?

‘Do they have so much money that

decent dress bores them? If so, way
didn’t it bore the youths of yester-
year?

Tell me, teacher, what it is that

. has made rags so fashionable — if

you can dignify that sort of thing

by calling it a fashion? Is it because |
-they can do what they like in

school? cas

This is something worthy of a,
doctoral thesis.

A couple of years ago it was
spiked hair. Rastafarian hair-dos

Project manager. © Malcolm

' McLaren said Allied and McLaren

and Sons have been involved. in
about 60% of B.C. Ferries’ ships in
either construction or design.

He said the “century class” ferry.

will be a spartan, cost-efficient ves-
se] for short routes such as the run
from Horseshoe Bay to. Bowen
Island.

The vessel will - likely be
designed by. June.. B.C. Ferries
would like to have the first of the
.600-passenger ferries. in. service
before the summer of 1996.

were also popular. Girls -—- and
some women — still like African
dreadlocks. But the Grunge Look
tops them all.

If these kids want to be different
why don’t they go bungee jumping
or trying out for the Olympics?
They could even go to church.

Did Apparition have parents, |
wondered, or was he found under a
bush? If he has parents, what do
they do when their friends come
calling? Hide him in a cupboard?

It is always possible, of course,
that they had kicked him out and
that he was cashing his welfare
cheque. Certainly. no employer in
his right mind would give him a
job. Even the NDP wouldn't have
him.

My theory is that it is multicult
that has brought about such things.
A nation without identity produces
kids who are looking for identity.
Hence the Grunge Look.

Wee Willie Wilkins could
change things overnight. But he's
in heaven now, weeping his eyes
out.

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LUMBER ‘COMPANY

. OriginatyF Produced on Broadway by Robert Stigwood and MCA, ine. by spaciat arrangement with David Land. :
' Original Broadway Production conceived by Tom oO Horgan ;

_ JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR is Fs presented through special arrangement with and alt authorized performance materials are supplied by Music ‘Theatre

_ International, 545 Eighth Averuo, | New York, N.Y. 10018 |,