4 ~ Friday, March 8, 1991 - North Shore News Unusual incidents: the barkless dog of the Gulf War “DADDY,” a child will one day lisp at my knee, ‘“‘what did you do in the Gulf War?”’ “*Child,”’ I will say, looking him almost straight in the eye, ‘‘1 was right at the front, dug into the sand. Now run along, and help make the world safe for democracy.”” And as the child, impressed as hell, runs off on that mission, I will add in a carefully modulated whisper: ‘Yes, at the oceanfront ..- in the sands of Waikiki Beach.”’ It does seem a sinful coin- cidence that at the very moment George Bush’s ultimatum to Sad- dam Hussein expired, and the United States-led United Nations coalition teased for the command to start the ground war on Iraq, I was seated as comfortably as a man accompanied by three children and a worried wife could be, in a plane bound for the most delicious destination in the known world, Hawaii. But, like 'nsp. Gadget, I’m always on duty. I may look like just another fat slob on the beach. Behind my reasonably tanned face, though, the little grey cells have been working. Lacking my usual heavy ration of news, I can’t say if those cells are marvelling at marvels that were marvelled at by every com- mentator on the globe, and a week late ai that by the time this appears. But even if they have, I feel compelled to recount those marvels, We may never again see their like. The most marvellous things of all are the ones that didn’t hap- pen. Here I follow the line taken by Sherlock Holmes in one of his most celebrated observations. Holmes was discussing the evi- dence in a case with Scotland Yard’s Insp. Lestrade. When he finished, Lestrade asked: ‘‘Is there any other point to which you wish to draw my attention?”’ Holmes replied: ‘*To the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime.”’ Trevor Lautens GARDEN OF BIASES The puzzled Lestrade said: ‘‘But the dog djd nothing in the night- time.’’ “That,”’ said Holmes, ‘‘was the curious incident.”’ You probably know that the curious thing was that the dog hadn’t barked — which showed that it knew the perpetrator of this dastardly crime. But, whether you know the above story or not, you should never forget the following non- events since Jan. 15 that made the world go ‘‘Whew!”’ e Israel did not enter the war. Undoubtedly that was the political turning-point. God knows where we'd be if the Israelis had taken Saddam’s cunning and cruel bait. A good case could be made that the moment Saddam failed in that strategy, he was doomed. Only slightly !>ss marvellous is that Israeli losses, especially the death toll, were so comparatively light. © No cheniical or bacteriological weapons evidently were used. What a relief. “Conventional” weapons are bad enough. Both sides were spared even worse. Saddam’s “‘fire’’ that he vowed would consume “‘half of fsrael’’ was a fizzle. THE CORPORATION OF THE DISTRICT OF NORTH VANCOUVER BY-ELECTION MARCH 9, 1991 The by-election is being held to elect one Alderman for a three year term ending in 1993, and poll the electors on the proposed Lynn Canyon Park Dedication Bylaw. ¢ The Arab members of the coalition didn’t waver. And ... © The Moslem world didn’t take off on the holy war, the jihad, that Saddam cynically called for. Two more decisive political nails in Saddain's coffin. © Similarly, and perhaps most surprising of all, the coalition countries were not hit by widespread terrorist attacks — which is not to say the vigilance can be lifted for a long time yet. Now, I’m not sure if this falls into the now-it-can-be-told cate- gory. But the fact is that — as I learned from a casual aside by a member of Parliament — Ot- tawa’s East Block was evacuated at least twice soon after the war began because of bomb threats. That wasn't reported. And nei- ther was this. A Vancouver organization received a detailed threat about a month ago. It included the statement that the senders had three drums of cyanide which they planned to pour into the city’s water system. The letter was signed: ‘‘The White Moslems of America.”’ My strong and not original suspicion is that government, the police and security authorities, and the media have a silent — tacit, rather than formal — agreement not to alarm people by publicizing such threats. And, in most cases, a good thing, I’d say. But so far we can say, of that and all the other things that didn’t happen: ‘‘Whew!’ And a final one: © The peace fascists — the coalition quick to forin against the Western democracies and especial- ly the United States in such con- flicts, thus giving that much aid and comfort to crazed despots and mad foreign torturers — didn’t get their way. Instead they got one in the eye. Good, good, good. All wars are horrible. But this one deserves at least a 9. : NOTHING UNEXPECTED... B NOTHING UNEXPLAINED... VOTE ‘‘YES’’ Save Lynn Canyon Park Forever VE Endorsed by Atd. Paul Turner GRANT BOTTO —REALTOR-- Call me today for a complimentary market evaluation. Sussex . 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