38 — Wednesday, August 1, 1990 ~ Q. MY HUSBAND and I have been married seven years. We have a good marriage. The sex is good too, but it could be better. We both have active jobs, but ! don’t think work is a good excuse for letting the sexual part of your relationship stide. I do initiate sex part of the time, and I don’t have any problems doing that. But I would like him to lust after me more — the way he did in the beginning of our relationship when he couldn't get enough of me. What can a woman do to meke her man truly just after her? A. You need to get his atten- tion, and the best way to get a man’s attention is to catch his eye. Men are aroused by what they see. If you don’t own sexy underwear and negligees, buy some beautiful ones. And don’t save them for special occasions! Wear something silky at breakfast. Let him see you putting North Shore News LIFESTYLES Negligee sure-fire way to rekindle romance Dr. Ruth Westheimer on the lacy underthings in the morning. He will have sexy thoughts dur- ing the day and be lusting after you when you get home from work. The tried and true methods of arousing a man really do work. Also, buy some little presents for him, like sexy underwear for him to wear or body paints for lovers, which are tubes of colored soaps. Get in the shower with him. Involve him in the arousal pro- cess, so he takes some responsibil- ity for making your sex life more exciting too. Q. My girlfriend and i have been together for four and a half years. Recently 1 shared with her some of my fantasies about tying women up and making love to them. She is disturbed by the bondage GEORGE DAVIS & COMPANY GOURLAY & SPENCER SLADE & COMPANY ANNOUNCE THE MERGER OF THEIR LAW PRACTICES UNDER THE FIRM NAME OF DAVIS GOURLAY SPENCER & SLADE with a new address located in Ambleside, West Vancouver Suite 205 - 1455 Bellevue Avenue West Vancouver, B.C., V7¥ 1C3 Telephone: 922-3386 Fax: 925-1304 Commercial, civil & criminal Litigation insolvency Family Law Conveyancing & Commercial Law Wills & Estates GEORGE DAVIS JANET E. SLADE SHELLEY WILLIAMS PETER A. SPENCER ROBERT W. GOURLAY CARLA M. COURTENAY Effective August 2nd, 1990 The Winners of our Double Your Money Contest are: e Bernard Arbitman Montreal, Quebec © Mary Cleveland Yarmouth, Nova Scotia @ Teborah Dubois ccgary, Alberta = Val Franch Winnipeg, Manitoba © Tracy Hebb Middleton, Nova Scotia # Randie Jantzen Vancouver, British Columbia ® J. Louis Joannette Montreal. Quebec e Rone McGregor Teronto, Ontario ¢ Sandra Mereigh Vancouver, British Columbia ¢ Jessie Remo Toronto, Ontario e Wally Rushton Wolfville, Nova Scotia ¢ Thomas Wong Vancouver, British Columbia g=) PRENOR IRUST ASK DR. RUTH fantasies. While I would like to try doing this with her, 1 haven't been pushy about asking for it. I don’t understand why she’s mak- ing such an issue of my fantasies. It bothers me that she does. She wants to know when they began and where they came from. How should I handle this? A. You don’t say if the fan- tasies are new. Perhaps you've been having them for some time, but only recently felt comfortable in sharing them with her. Teli her you trust her enough now to share your secret fantasies and feel hurt by her reaction. If she feels uncomfortable when you talk about bondage, keep your mouth shut in the future. You are right not to try pushing her into something she doesn't want to do. But you do have a right to your fantasies as long as you keep them to yourself. Linless they become obsessive, enjoy them. Q. I've been married for 20 years. Like all relationships, ours has had its ups and downs. Some- times I am more interested in sex than my husband is and vice ver- sa, and during some periods of our lives sex has been better than others. I've read your advice on taking turns pleasing each other, especially when one is more desirous than the other, but I ob- ject to that philosophy. [sn’t there something I can do that will make sex good for him even when he’s not interested? Also, isn’t there something he could do for me that makes sex good even when I’m not interest- ed? I think that would be better than taking turns. A. No! If he’s not interested, leave him alone. Just let him pleasure you. Why try to make him want something he doesn’t want? That is like trying to feed a man who isn't hungry. The same advice applies to him. If you don’t want to receive sex- ual pleasure, he can’t force it upon you. But he can ask you to give him pleasure. 5 DAYS ONLY! THURSDAY TO MONDAY 685-8414 1080 Mainland Street at Helmeken Downtown Vancouver, B.C MONDAY TO SATURDAY 0 AM Now Two Big Locauons CANADA'S LARGEST THOMASVILLE GALLERY lL Ollirs THOMASVILLE GALLERY 435-5566 4240 Manor Street Burnaby, B.C. (Halfa block west of Sheraton Villa Hotel TOS PM SUNDAY NOON TOS PM