Doug Collins

@ get this straight ®

IT’S THAT tranquil and sip-sip time again, when kind old
Uncle Doug delivers his famous Quotes Of The Year.

Viewer discretion is advised.

I'm sorry about the other
woman. I meant to kill my wife
but I forgot my glasses. Percy
Washington, retired U.S. army
sergeant, after shooting the wrong
lady; on Mother’s Day.

j We're making condoms more
user-friendly, British condom
manufacturer Michael Conitzer in
announcing a new brand.

Listen up. We’ve only got three
cases of AIDS in Osoyoos:
Rolaids, band aids and hearing
aids, Anonymous Osoyoos senior,

| talking to reporter.

Headline in Brit tabloid allegedly
quoting five-year-old Prince
William when Charles and Diana
allegedly weren’t seeing each
other.

Mr, Turpin bears the dog no ill-
feeling. Lawyer Michael Holland
of London, Eng.; to court; after
client Frank Turpin chewed off
part of a police dog’s ear during a
soccer melee: The tooth-active
Mr. Turpin got two years.

As a New Canadian citizen you
have no right to bring your right-
wing fascist ideas into this
democratic country, CLC boss

“““Sex was: not part of our

relationship

’ —. Ms. Donna Rice,

explaining her contact with
presidential hopeful Gary Hart.’’

’ Tama Pole. Senator Edward :

‘Kennedy; failing. to make. clear
‘what kind of pole he is.”

‘ A former brothel..in Kentish

| Town Road cannot be turned into

“an amusement and_leisure centre, .

‘says‘Camden Council. Report in
the Hampstead - and Highgate
-Express.-

Dale Walters of Burnaby kissed -

} Tony Pep's leather glove and then
‘kissed the canvas. Reporter Tom
. Hawthorn in The Globe & Mail. .
_ J wasn’t a monster until several
years ago in New York. Bernard
Goetz the mugger-killer; to police.
We love :the. Mets, but Our
Hero is Bernie Goetz.: Inscription
‘on banner hoisted at’ baseball
_ game in New York.
fj: Anyone seen my. Dad?!

: ‘Shirley Carr on Bill Vander Zalm:

The kind lady later apologized,

.- seeing as how-a-lot of the labor
. “people she was talking too. were
: “also” from places like Holland.
When I grow up I want tobe a .
‘foreigner. Soviet child answering .
" question of what he wanted to be

when he grew up. -~

Of he’s lying he’s lying very well,
which would make ‘him an ex-
cellent PR guy. New York public
relations company president Matt

* Zachowski; on Col. Oliver North,

Blacks don’t’ have the
necessities to be .managers or
general managers in baseball. Los
Angeles Dodgers boss Al Cam-
panis, who-was later fired.

They are a bunch of nodding
donkeys. Fired PNE director

Brian Fisher; on the PNE board.
Sex was not part of our rela-
tionship. Ms. Donna Rice, ex-
plaining her contact with
presidential hopeful Gary Hart.

Asking bureaucrats to write
Simple legislation is like asking the
Boston strangler to straighten
your tie. Accountant Lyman
Macinnis, in calling for simpler
tax forms.

If you want to go in there you
can, but you’ve got to take your
clothes off, too. The late Maple
Leaf Gardens owner, Harold
Ballard; to female sports reporter.

You Fools! Headline in Lon-
don’s Daily Mirror; after the Law
Lords upheld the British Govern-
ment's ban on publication of
Peter Wright’s book Spycatcher.

Where cun we get a taxi to
Toronto? One of the 174 Sikh
refugees; after landing on the
coast of Nova Scotia.

I’m notan actor and I’ve got 45
pictures to prove it, Hugh
O’Brian, the Wyatt Earp of the
1950s.

Got astiffie? Weara Jiffi. Con-
dom manufacturer Michael Con-
itzer again; his advertising slogan
displayed’near Piccadilly Circus.

As far as I know I shall be back
next season. CTV anchor man |
Harvey Kirk explaining that he
did not think he would be fired;
just before he was fired. :

” Sometimes they confuse Unicef
with unisex. Sometimes that j
opens doors. . United Nations,
Children’s. Fund | greeting-card
man Louis Gendron.- :
Tobacco’ company executives

are pushers in pinstripes, Dr. An-.}-

drew Pipe of the Canadian Cancer
Society.

Breast Grabbed Because It Was
There, Court Toid, Headline in
Vancouver Sun; on the activities
of B.C. Lion’s .defensive end
Mark Napiorkowski.

Uf people don’t want to fly with
Captain Crunch, I guess I'll have
to retire. Bush pilot Marten Hart-
well; after surviving his second
crash.

Man kills self in police cell

A 44-YEAR-old. man apparently
committed suicide’ Monday night
. while under-detention in a -North
Vancouver RCMP cell.

'. Police had arrested George Ed-
mond, McAteer for. assaulting. his
girlfriend after responding to a call

OLE OVERGAARD -

Realtor

.-PERSONAL ATTENTION TO" ~
PROPERTY SALES AND PURCHASES

if you are contemplating a move, let me
avaiuaie your present teal. esiate
‘holding. My satisfied .custoimer,
Thank you, Mr. Joe Neary
OFFICE 922-6188
Res. 985-6695
2S year member of the Vancouver Raal Estate Board

.OVERGAARD ASSOC. REALTY uo
_ 1347 PMMARINE DR., WEST VAN, V7T 186

-at ‘the Grouse Inn Motel on-
Capilano Road.

..McAteer was admitted to the cell
at 10: 15 p.m. He was found hang-
ing with a T-shirt attached to the
cell bars shortly after 11 p.m..

CPR. was. administered, but
McAteer was pronounced dead

“shortly after midnight.
An’ RCMP spokesman said
McAteer was under the influence

of alcohol when picked up by the

police.

No date has been set yet for a
coroner’s inquest into McAteer’s
cath,

TS YOUR CAR.
HEAT. ER HEATING? _

9 ~ Sunday, December 27, 1987 - North Shore News

This week
at councils

NO NORTH Shore council
meetings are slated for Dec.
28. Upcoming meetings are:

NORTH VANCOUVER
DISTRICT COUNCIL —
the next scheduled meeting
is Jan. 4, 1988.

NORTH VANCOUVER
CITY COUNCIL — the
next scheduled meeting is
Jan. 4, 1988.

WEST VANCOUVER
DISTRICT COUNCIL
the next scheduled meeting
is Jan. 11, 1988.

7] PARK & FLY

&IRPORT PARKING $ ra 50 per day

8311 Sea Island Way, Richmond BC.
(next to Segal Furniture)

Express Shuttle — 24 hrs., 7 days
500 CAI Bonus Points for 3 days parking
278-8311.

FINANCIAL PROBLEMS???

Acquaint yourself with all the altematives, in confidence,
Call for our free information booklet today
‘Follow-up interview without obligation”
_EVANCIC PERRAULT. ROBERTSON ETD.
. TRUSTEE. IN: BANKRUPTCY
SOO, 291-9151: ::

“aust actoss the

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Willingdon Ave. & Lougheed -) .,

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Your car heater won't last forever. If you are getting into your car on these cooler tal moralngs a

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Come in for a HEATER TUNE-UP and enjoy clear sailing this fall! and winter.

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