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Page C6, August 15, 1979 - North Shore News —

‘QUESTION: What is your
judgement of alesbian? —

STEWART: I have given

some very careful thought to

your question for almost 30
NX

Improve on yourg

QUESTION: The other day I
drove several miles through

traffic right behind a car that
had a bumper sticker which

OK, YOU'RE OK.

The first thought I had was
that the driver of that car
must be an odd-ball to put up
‘a sticker Saying “'m OK”. I
laughed to myself because I
was saying to myself that this
fellow was not OK because
he had a sticker that claimed
he WAS OK!

Well that started the old
brain working and it oc-
curred to me that I don’t
very often feel like saying,
“I'm OK”. Often Pm saying
“rm NOT OK”, and often
I'm saying “You're not OK”.

seconds and am prepared to
give you my _ considered
answer as follows: “T have no
“judgement of a lesbian’
However, it may help : you
to know that I also have no

I had never been aware of
how often I am negative and

critical—about myself and

others. I would really like to
feel honest sbout saying,
“Tm OK and you're OK”,
but I don’t honestly feel that
way about myself and I don't
feel that way about most
people I know. How does a
person go about feeling good
about himself and about
other people?.

STEWART: For years we
have used those - phrases
about being OK. Then came
along Transactional
Analysis, and soon, Dr.
Thomas Harris and his book
titled TM OK, YOU'RE
OK. Since then, the phrase
has been used even more
widely.

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling, His new

office in the International Plaza Hotel ( Open Tuesdays only) is for the
convenience of North Shore residents.

judgement of a Presbyterian
or an addict or a butcher ora
tree or a biker or a nun.
Were you to introduce me to
a lesbian, Presbyterian,

I am not promoting T.A.,
but it would make sense for
you to read the book. It is on
a topic about which you are
already doing some thinking.

There is.so much to be
said on this subject which,
cannot be said in this brief

column. Let me _ confine
myself to only one
suggestion.

Draw up a list of your
personal qualities that allow.
you, at times, to. say,
honestly, “I'm OK!”. Be a bit
generous with yourself in
making the list, because, if
you tend to say, “I’m NOT
OK” quite a bit of the time,
you will probably short-
change yourself in a list .of

your qualities that you
consider admirable or
worthy.

"LISTEN LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE

Be true to yoursel

~

QUESTION: I've always I feelsure thatthe reason] your dislike of hurting
thought of. myself as a have not done so is because another person.

decisive person quite able to__ if I acted on the decision -I

make up my-mind-and to act. think is the right one forme, _ Consider r_the alt atraative :
accordingly. However, a {| am almost certain another

year or ago I was faced with

-a decision. that I haven't.

made YET!

person would be hurt by it. 1 -

am quite definite regarding

what I want to do. But I just

don’t do it because of this
other person.

That's bad enough, | but a
side-effect that has me
worried is that since I have
taken so long in acting on my

x

biker -or
certainly I

addict, butcher,
un, almost

_ would have some feelings

about them. But

judgements? No.

on,

list

having
before you, pick out two or
three of those good qualities
and deliberately choose to
improve on them.

Now, the

If you are happy about .

your generosity, or your
baking, or your approach

Shots, or your logic, or your

figure, or your prayer-life or

-' whatever, get better at those

things!

You will find, as you

respect your desire to be
better at what you're already
good at, you will also want to
improve on some aspects of
your life about which you
are not too happy. There is a
Starting place for you.

Keep your pets cool

in the hot weather

While pet owners try to
stay cool during the hot,
humid summer, they often
forget that their dogs and
cats need special attention to
cope with sultry weather
conditions.

“long run in hot vreather
because heat stroke. is a‘
killer,

canine says Dr.

+ + a windews—o

uBR Sp AEN Lee os eM net inside the car

PET CORNER

Michael Fox, author of two
pet care booklets.

Dr. Fox also advises that if
you're taking your dog and
cat along on a Car trip during
the hot weather, always park
in the shade and keep the

Research studies have
shown that the temperature
inside a parked car on a 30°C

ALL BLACK Persian cat, spayed, needs a home. She Is
very Ured of living In a cage as she Is used to being a
pet. Call Doris Orr at 987-9015.

you TE mperature "Tor
CAL... eats—is—in- the 39°C (101°. -

‘withstand a

(85°F) day will reach 39°C
(102°)F in 10 minutes, even
in the shade. Within just 30
minutes, the temperature in
the car will shoot up to 49°C
(120°F).

Because the normal body
ogs an
103°F) ‘range, they can
body tem-
perature of 42°C (108°F) for
only a very short period of
time before succumbing to
irreparable brain damage or
to death.

Should your pet for any
reason be overcome by heat
exhaustion, apply cold water

or ice‘to the pet and rush it |

to the nearest veterinarian.

At this time of year, Dr.
Fox also recommends that
pet owners give cxtra at-
tention to good grooming
measures to their pet.

Longhair dogs and cats
usually need daily grooming.
In really hot weather, dogs
may need clipping or
thinning out to feel more
comfortable and to prevent
skin problems.

Also, in summer, de on
the lookout tur ucks on your

mer.

pet for the animal's safety

and comfort, and because of -

the possibility your home
might become infested. Use
a suitable medicated
preparation to rid your pet
of them.

fsa ee oe - aes

- Pet owners should: be

careful, about the types, of

garden sprays and_  in-
secticides they use around
the house during the sum-
Many insecticides
contain compounds that are
dangerous to pets, par-
ticularly to cats because they
lick their fur when
grocoming and can swallow
the poisonous substance.

Proper summer care is
essential for pets. Balanced
meals, a sufficient supply of
water and shaded areas for
pets will help owners
maintain the health of their
cats and dogs and avoid the
heartbreak of losing a pet
unnecessarily to heat
exhaustion or heat stroke.

For Information abow
caring for your pet, write for
a free copy of Dr. Fox's
handbook to “Ken-L Ration
Dog Care” or “Puss'n Boots
Cat Care”, Box 5400, Don
Mills, Ontario, M3C 2T9.

getting more indecisive
about other matters too.

My._main problem is

related to a relationship I

have had with someone I
think highly of and respect,
but with whom I no longer
want to entertain the thought
of living together. I just
“know” I should not be with
that other person.

It’s behaviour,

“inner voice” .and-continue
the relationship. You will be

doing something contrary to

_your best self and therefore

bringing to that . person
someone léss than total. You
would . probably have to
pretend ve. That would be
more hurtful to him (or is it
her?) than following through

Moreover,
mind, that

keep it in

your

yourself. You are not
responsible for the results of
your following your inner
voice. Of course, you ARE
responsible for the results if
you, deliberately plan to
hurt a person by your selfish
but that _is

first: —
responsibility is to be true to

+ seine en te xe

something I am sure of.-

Yet, the ‘ other person
would be lost and devastated
if I followed my inner voice
and broke up _ the
relationship. What should I
do?

STEWART: You have
already decided. What you
are wrestling with is AC-
TING on your decision. One
reason it is hard is because of

another matter.

Say “yes”: to yourself and
do not postpone sharing your
decision: with the other

person. Do it firmly but as .

graciously and thoughtfully

as you can.
It will hurt both of you
more if you waffle and hope
the OTHER person will
make a decision that will
ease it for you. It's YOUR
thing. Do it now and well.

ISLANDS TRUST

_ BOWEN ISLAND TRUST COMMITTEE =
SNUG COVE COMMUNITY PLAN AMENDMENT.

NOTICE OF PUBLIC HEARING

NOTICE is. hereby given that all persons who deem
their interest in property affected by the following
proposed By-law will be afforded an opportunity to be
heard on the matters contained therein at a Public
Hearing to be held in the Collins Halt, Bowen Island, on
FRIDAY, AUGUST 24, 1979, commencing at 7:15

p.m.

Proposed Bowen Island Trust Committee By-law
No. 8 is a By-law to amend the Official Com-
munity Plan for Bowen Island adopted by By-law

No. 227 of the Greater Vancouver Regiaqnal

District in 1977.

“This By-law. will

amend the Bowen

Island

Community Plan to provide development policies
for the Snug Cove Area. It ine§ides goals for

Snug Cove development,

policies respecting

conservation of enviranmentally sensitive areas

a ~specitic’ statements” 1 tor art eae and
ommerc Acer eee Cee ye,
policies” ao ‘Transportatién, °

Marine Environment and other matters.

Copies of the proposed By-law may be reviewed at the
Post Office, Bowen Island, during the hours of 9:00

raposed By-law may also be reviewed at the Islands

br to 12 noon any work day prior to the Hearing. The

rust Office, 848 Courtney Street,

Victoria, B.C.,

during normal working hours of 8:30 a.m. to 4: 30 p.m.,

Monday to Friday inclusive.

M. LEE, ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICER

NOTICE OF MEETING
| BOWEN ISLAND

There will be a meeting of the Bowen Island Trust

Committee to consider

various items of business

concerning Bowen Island at the conclusion of the
Public Hearing on August 24, 1979, in the Collins Hall,

Bowen Island

M LEE, ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICER

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