= Puck parents’ play | merits misconduct “WELL, it’s finally happened. I’ve joined the ranks of the much | talked about (and never ' in pleasant terms) _ hockey parents. I am a hockey mom. A friend of mine warned ~ me when my first son started : asking to play. “Do not let your boys play hockey,” she advised. “You'll turn into one of those hockey moms.” i She told me about friends of ours whose kids played - hockey; gentcel women who instantly metamorphosed into ~ screeching crones once their sons skated onto the ice, and men who couldn’t contro! their mouths or fists at the : games, : “It’s very intense,” she explained. “I’m sure I can handle it,” I said, and 1 brushed off her concern Ae didn’t take long before I realized’ what my friend was talking about. Hockey par- ents are, without a doubt, the most zealous of all spectators. They subscribe to.a certain right ¥-call “Freedom of Lond | Speech” at their kids’ games: _ -This involves constant at referees, at coach- . kids, and at each other. ‘They’ hoot and hiss; name- call and threaten. P've wit- nessed parents throwing tem- - . per tantrums that would rival a two-year- ~ald’s, Pe 's terribly “undignified: .- up in the game. My own has- band turns into Dr. Jekyll . when my son is playing. He stands alongside the rink, all ~ his muscles tensed, hands ‘ twitching uncontrollably and * sweating heavily. He cannot : have a.normal conversation "Same Great Staff ¢ dads get really caught - “Leave me alone,” he barks at me if I try to chat with him, “I’m concentrating _ on the game.” Other dads are the same. When you try to talk to them they just move away without taking their cyes off the ice. They act as if they are playing “Leave me alone,” he barks at me if I try to chat with him, “I’m concentrating on the game.” the game themselves, even though many of them have never even owned a pair of skates. The mothers are just as bad. They squawk and grunt while yeiling things like “Take him down, Johnny” and “Attack, Attack” to their armor-clad children skating below. ‘They scream hysterically each time a goal is scored for their team, and wail in protest if it’s for the other team. All the violence of the sport goes against their femi- nine instincts, yet they engage in hostility as if released from some passive prison on temporary leave. It’s degrading to the gender as a whole. Same Great Service New I always feel sorry for the referees, who take a ton of abuse from players, coaches and parents. No one scems to respect their authority. Sometimes watching the parents is more interesting than watching the games. At one of my son’s games a dad elbowed a mom from the other team. She told her husband, who pushed the dad, who had to be restrained by two other dads. I thought he should only have gotten two minutes for “elbowing,” but the security guard gave him a “game mis- conduct” and threw him out. At another game I watched a mom go ballistic when an opposing player checked her son. She shricked, “I’m gonna get you, you little creep” at the offending player, flinging herself so hard against the railing of the spectator bench that she knocked the wind out of herself and had to lie down. She got away with it, but some of che parents thought: she should have been given 10 minutes for “acting like a complete idiot.” Last night my son played in a particularly exciting game. He approached me when we got home and said: “Mom, I'm giving you a penalty.” “For what?” [ asked, astonished at his remark. “Roughing,” he answered. “Game misconduct.” “Don’t be ridiculous,” ! snapped. “I didn’t rough up that other mom. I barely touched her. Besides, she said mean things about our play- I looked to my husband for support. “Game miscon- duct,” he confirmed. “You'll have to sit the next one out Honey.” Referees are such idiots. MoareAy PAIN 1s, Great Location A STROKE OF aide NORTH SHORE MAGIC WEST VAN ROAD RUNNERS NORTH SHORE RUGRATZ NORTH SHORE BADGERS NORTH SHORE BULLETTS NORTH SHORE RAPTORS NORTH SHORE SAINTS N. SHORE TIMBERWOLVES NORTH SHORE CHEETAHS NORTH SHORE TWISTERS NORTH SHORE DEVILS NORTH SHORE CONDORS NORTH SHORE WOLVERINES NORTH SHORE SPIRIT NORTH SHORE FOXES U-10 GIRLS WEST VAN PANTHERS NORTH SHORE CYCLONES NORTH SHORE FLAMES N. 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