44 - Sunday, December 21, 1986 - North Shore News SURVIVING CHRISTMAS GRACEFULLY impersonal cards offend fage DEAR MISS MANNERS — My cousin turns over the fam- ily Christmas-card list to her husband's secretary, who sends out the cards with just the printed names ‘‘Mary and John Smith" to relatives. No handwritten message. Some feelings are hurt at this — it seems a slap in the face to relatives to have their cards commingled coldly at the office. A lawyer we know has his secre- tary send out printed cards to women who are not clients or business contacts but are family friends who visit his mother, are Manners by Judith Martin friendly with his sister and see him at his house, not his office. They send him cards that ure signed or have a one-line handwritten greet- ing. How much nicer it would have been had he crossed out his Jast name and just put ‘Best for the holidays’ or ‘‘Hope you're fine’’ or “As always.’’ I see no offense in someone else handwriting or even typing the envelope, as long as there is personalization of some sort inside. GENTLE READER — Miss GLORIA DEI LUTHERAN CHURCH Christmas Services: Candielight Service Dec. 24 7 p.m. & 11 p.m. Christmas Worship Dec, 25 tl am. Upper Levels at Lloyd [988-5838 984-7334 Soft CAPILANO = MALL 980-2517 Open Sunday LEN MACHT ACCIDENT REPORT “tT collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.” CO.lision on 980-4581 1315 COTTON DR. NORTH VAN. Manners sees plenty of offense in asking an office employee to send one's personal Christmas cards — but even more of one to the employee asked to do such a non- business task than to the friends and relatives who receive such travesties of greetings and good wishes, DEAR MISS MANNERS — I had my son when 1 was 16 years old. (U realize that is very young, and.f don't advise anyone to have a baby that young.) Now Tam 25 and he is 9. So many people say, “Gosh, you were so young’’ or “Oh, TF can't believe you had a baby so young.’’ This has been bugging me for years. What would be a polite reply, though it's very rude of them to say these things? GENTLE READER — Miss Manners agrees that these com- ments are offensive, but strangely enough, any indication of youth is intended to be flattering in this society. You cannot take these un- The VITAMIN EXPERTS! | North Shore Health Foods [ Your Ono Stop Nutritional Shop North Shore Health Foods Capilano Mall 984-4444 Wo Guarantee The Lowest Prices! yw mattresses y box springs bed frames bunk mattresses i crib mattresses y down quilts down pillows - hide-a-beds roll-a-way cots v & much more: Uy WITH CO x ADVERTISED IF YOUEINO Ve. REFUND > Warehouse/Showroom OPEN TO THE PUBLIC : (2 blks. behind the Avalon) f at 1075 Roosevelt Cres., N.Van. ff 9-9 Fri. 385-8738} 7 Ag) fortunate remarks as insults, but you should not treat them as com- pliments, either. A cold ‘Do you think so?"' ought to cut off any discussion, DEAR MISS MANNERS — For muny years now, T have sent gifts on all special occasions ta my five grandchildren, whose ages range from eight to 16. To date, I have not received so much as a thank- you note or a phone call in uc- knowledgment. 1 have discussed this with my two daughters (mothers of the children), with no results, Christmas is approaching, and quite frankly I am feeling reluc- tant. Do IT ignore the Christmas gifts because of the children's poor manners? GENTLE READER — Your children’s manners are now out of your control, but you might try working on your grandchildren’s. A kindly itatk with cach, saying that you had always hoped to please them with your presents but are afraid, from their lack of response, that you failed, ought to provoke a protest, at which you explain the necessity of feedback to keep generosity going. Wee ae f vey vt Marrs (CHISTRAS CAPILANO OPTICAL OPEN SUNDAY — CAPILANO MALI. 980-2517 Roby wily why ota why uty ody why ody oly wily’ od CLINERS FRI.-SAT.-SUNDAY ONLY MOST CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED HOURS: Monday to Saturday — 9 to 5 p.m. Friday — 9 to 9 p.m. Sunday — Noon to 5 p.m. A quality - comfortable - all eather recliner — built to last more than a decade of Christmasses. The finest you can buy. The only recliner made with coil springs in the base. All top grain Analyne dyed leathers — so soft — so durable. Good choice of colors. Delivery guaranteed for Christmas. Sale price starts at $1499.95 to $2299.95 each. NOTE — Other styles available Example: Wing-back recliners at sale prices. GALLERY 4240 MANOR ST., BURNABY, B.C. (% block West of Villa Sheraton Hotel}