42 — Wednesday, February 26, 1992 —- North Shore News Q. MY WIFE of 38 years does not like to perform oral sex on me, though I happily do it for her. She has been doing it) once every three months for the past six years. Jo am = grateful for that because before then she never did it. The problem, besides the hack of frequency, is that when she does perform it, she acts as if I'm dirty or something. 1 end up feel- ing rejected and worse than if she hadnt done it at all. is there anything I can do fo let her know that she is hurting my feelings? A. You're very fortunate that she does it sometimes! Some hus- bands don't even get that. Perhaps you should suggest taking a shower together. The shower might be a good place to start because it implies cleanliness. Don’t make a big issue over your feeling rejected because it’s not going to help. You might make her feel guilty or defensive. Either way, she will be less inclin- ed to perform oral sex than she was before. LIFESTYLES Husband feeling rejected by wife’s attitude Dr. Ruth Westheimer ASK BR. RUTH Let your wife know how much you enjoy having sex with her. Tell her how much she excites you when she does perform oral sex. Keep everything you say in a posi- tive perspective. Q. My old boyfriends are all jerks! None of them treated me very well. But the sex was always good. I've just begun dating the first nice guy I’ve met in a long time. Park proceeds will go to North Shore Rescue Team CAPILANO SUSPENSION Bridge and Park and the Rotary Club of North Vancouver hope to raise $5,000 for the North Shore Rescue Team. . For over 25 years the North Shore Rescue Team has served the North Shore searching, recovering and rescuing missing, trapped or injured persons. _As well, the team provides education and information on mountain safety, first aid and . Search and rescue techniques. For example, their Hug-A-Tree Pro- gram is aimed at teaching children how to survive when they are lost in the wilderness. Leading the Rotary Club’s ma- jor charity fundraiser, The Great Capilano River Duck Race, is Rubber Ducky Day, which takes place on Sunday, March 1 from il am. to 4 p.m. at Capilano Suspension Bridge and Park. The park will donate all gate admissions from the event to the North Shore Rescue Team. Activities which will be ongoing throughout the day include ‘Wacky, Quacky Hat Workshop, Fowl Play Mystery, a coloring contest, a visit by magician Randy Charach, plus demonstrations of the Hug-A-Tree Program. Children under 12 will be ad- mitted for free when accompanied by an adult. “It’s going to be reduckulous fun for the whole family,’ say organizers. For more information call 985-7474. 16th VANCOUVER ORCHID SOCIETY ORCHID SHOW & PLANT SALE Sat., February 29, 10am-6pm Sun., March 1, 10am-5pm Van Dusen Botanical Gardens West 37th & Oak Street Vancouver Admission $4 Adults $3.50 Seniors Present this ad for 50¢ off. LOSS? See us for good hearing aid service — sales, repairs, s batteries and advice. 3 Government Licensed. ASK ABOUT OUR TRIAL SERVICE. North Western Hearing Centre Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9-5 Sat. 9-1 985-5552 1910 Lonsdale no wencouver But he doesn’t excite me! EF want to be sexually attracted to him, but ('m rot. We've heen out three times and cach time 1 went home thinking that Re’d be perfect if only the chemistry was there. Do you think it is OK if f con- tinue to date him and wait to be sexually attracted to him? De you think that it's possible that the at- traction which doesn't exist: now could grow? Should I pretend that ['m attracted to him uatil Lam? A, Try it! What do you have to lose? You can make believe he is the most exciting and sexy man with the best penis in the world. But keep your mouth shut. Don't tell anyone you're pretending. As long as he is interested in you sexually, you can do this. If he isn’t, you may not have the opportunity to. If the attraction does grow, wonderful! If it doesn’t after a few months, you must make up a white lie. For The Money Find Twolo Go. Don’t hurt his feclings by telling him you have no sexual attraction to him. Perhaps you could tell him that an old boyfriend is back. However, if only being attracted to men who mistreat you becomes a pattern of behavior, then I sug- vest you discuss this with a thera- pist. Q. My wife had a baby two months ago. She had an uacom- fartable pregnancy followed by a very difficult birth. The doctor has told us that we may resume our sex life, but I'm having a hard time doing that. My wife is cager to begin lovemaking again. She says she is feeling well and very sexy. But I can't get the image of her giving birth out of my mind. [ haven't told her this is what's going on in my head. Should 1? I also feel guilty for putting her through so much suffering even though we both wanted to have a child. 1 just can't seem to get back into our sex life. Is there anything I can do? A. Do not say anything to your wife just yet. You must go see a therapist fast. Otherwise this will become an even bigger problem. It is not your responsibility that your wife went through a difficult labor. You must not blame yourse!f. She certainly doesn’t blaine you! : First, try to put that image of her giving birth out of your mind by having very sexy thoughts. Remember your most passionate times together before her pregnancy. Put the image of her at her sexiest firmly in your head. With those thoughts in mind, caress her and concentrate on pleasing her first. Perhaps if you do this, your own excitement will grow, but if this doesn’t work, you must see a therapist as soon as possible, Now ‘til March 27th, when you purchase one return ticket on our Friday Night Ski Train for $29, we'll give you a second return ticket of equal value or less, absolutely free. Train leaves the North Van station at 7:00 PM. and arrives in Whistler at 9:30 PM. And there's free shuttle service to Whistler Village. BCFAIL SKI TRAIN THE BEST WAY TO SKI B.C. $281 0313500.