36 - Wednesday, June 6, 1990 - North Shore News it’s not necessary to finish business Q. ISN’T IT necessary to a man to experience climax after lovemaking to _ feel complete? My husband says he doesn’t need to reach orgasm every time. He says he can enjoy sex without if. I know this is true for womer, but I did not think it was true for men. Most of the time he does have an orgasm. When he doesn't, it bothers me. Am I wrong to be concerned? A. If a woman can sometimes enjoy lovemaking without orgasm, why can’t a man? If he has sex without ejaculating only occa- sionally, don’t worry. He may sometimes want to make love to you but not want to ejaculate, for many reasons. Perhaps he is going to work, or out of town on a business trip, and doesn’t want to feel too relaxed. if he is an older man, he may consciously withhold ejaculation so that he will be able to make love again later in the day or on the next day. Or, he may simply be more interested in pleasing you than taking his own pleasure at the time. If you had told me he seldom ejaculates, | would say you had reason for ccncern. A man who gets aroused and can’t ejaculate is left feeling frustrated, like a woman who gets aroused and can't reach orgasm. In mien, the condi- tion is called ‘‘retarded ejacula- Dr. Ruth Dr. Ruth Westheimer es tion.”' For psychological reasons, the man will not allow himself to lose control. Q. IT hope you will not laugh at this, because it is a serious problem to me. For years now, I have been embarrassed about the size of my penis. I did not participate in sports at school as } heard ail the jokes other kids, even gym teach- ers, make about cach other's sizes. In case you think I'm exag- gerating my smallness, I have been told by women it’s a very small one. I am losing my self-esteem. Isn't there some kind of operation to help me? Couldo’t I pet a penile impiant like impotent men receive? A. Penile implants are not per- formed as cosmetic surgery. You can, of course, consult a urologist, but f doubt you will find one will- ing to give a man who has no per- formance problems an implant. I am more concerned about the size of your self-esteem than your penis. The size of a man’s nenis does not determine his ability as a lover. If you are so worried about size, | think you should see a psychologist. Perhaps something else is bothering you about sex. Q. I've been married over 40 years and have had sex problems with my wife twice in that time. The first came after five years of happy marriage. She had always had sex without removing her nightgown. Then suddenly she was having sex naked. I wasn’t surpris- ed when £ caught her in an affair with another man. After that, things went along well until last year. Now, suddenly she is no Jonger interested in sex at ail, She says sex should not be a big deal any more at our age. A. f think you should feave the reading of signs to fortune tellers! Maybe sex has become painful for her and she is embarrassed to tell you this. At her age, she probably needs to use a lubricant. A woman’s body often does not pro- duce sufficient lubrication for comfortable sex after menopause. a § Summer cart Sleepwear Gowns, Babydolls, P.J.’s Jumpsuits to size 14_ OTHING CO CHILDREN’S 3 988-746 LYNN VALLEY CENTRE The partners of BRADBROOKE, CRAWFORD & GREEN are pleased to announce that Debra Van Ginkel and Paddi Arthur have become partners. SILK SALE From June 6th to 30th we have selected silks at half price! 1 Debra van Ginkel Paddi Arthur Debra Van Ginkel is a graduate of McGill Univer- sity and the University of Calgary. In the five years thal she has practised law in British Columbia, she has become very involved in volunteer communi- ty activities. The focus of her practice is in family law and general civil litigation, in particular, per- sonal injury law. Paddi Arthur is a graduate of Queen's University, Belfast, and the University of British Columbia. She has an extensive background in the education system of British Columbia. The focus of her prac- tice is in family law and general civil litigation, in- cluding education law. Bradbrooke, Crawford & Green is a progressive genera! practice law firm established in 1973 with an emphasis on litigation. The growth of the part- nership reflects the firm's commitment to provide an increasing range of professional services to its expanding client base. SOURS PA LAWYERS BOC VET WEST EEBLANAUE Nl NCOUVER, BC OWNS * baad Bellewue. West Vancouver We've moved § 2a block - Come and see our besutitul location Silk jacquard cowboy shirt regularly $205 now only Sb 6S BRADBROOKE CRAWFORD &GREEN