uff Daddy, Sugar Ray

a ee Oe aS
PREYS Ee ook

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Sunday, January 16, 2000 — North Shore News — 11

Monkey see, monkey de dope

IN July, pelice in Dhaka,
Bangladesh, rescued two spi-
der monkeys that were
chained up in a drug seller's
house. To reduce human
intervention in drug sales, said
police, signs ordered cus-
tomers to pay che monkeys in
either of nvo denominations,
which the monkeys could dis-
tinguish by colour, after which
the monkeys would fetch the
appropriate quantity of drugs
from their hiding places.

m0

After protests in October,
Grand Canyon University, a
smail Christian college in
Phoenix, canceled its sched-
uled “Assassins” fund-raising
game, in which gun-carrying
players pay for the privilege of
shooting colleagues with Nerf
darts, with the last one stand-
ing getting a restaurant certifi-
cate. Many students originally
failed to connect the game to
recent schoal violence, such as
the freshman woman who
told a reporter, “This is a
Christian university, so we
know the difference between
right and wrong.”

go0G90
Our Animal Friends: In

3935

Update: News of the
Weird reported in 1996 on
the chen-brand-new testicle
implants for dogs
(*Neuticles,” invented by
Gregg Miller of
Independence, Mo.}, thought
to be helpfal te neutered dogs
that somehow would feel
embarrassed alter castration.
tn November, Miller said he
had scheduled his first human
for an FDA-approved
Neuticle implant: Californian
Jim Webb, who had had a tes-
ticle removed to relieve
chronic swelling.

oon

Least Competent
Criminals: Ski-mask-wearing
Floyd Brown, 24, was charged
with robbing a Holiday Inn in
Anchorage, — Alaska, in
November, apparently oblivi-
ous of the 40 police officers
just off the lobby in a law-
enforcement training confer-
ence (advertised on the mar-
guee out front).

And in December in Las
Vegas, robber Emilio
Rodriguez, 19, was shot to
death as he rushed into Mr.
D’s bar, which is a favorite

wrongly jailing him in 1988
(and again on the same war-
cant in 1993) on armed rob-
bery charges; authorities have
since concluded that the rob-
bery was committed by Ray’s
evil win brother, Jay Nugent,
who is believed to be hiding in
Canada.

900

Also, in the Last Month: A
practice bomb accidentally fell
off an F-16 flying over a golf
course, making divots over a
300-yard swath (Phoenix). A
depressed 16-year-old boy
who said he didn’t want to
talk to anyone showed up at
school with his lips stitched
together (Twentynine Palms,
Caiif.).

EXPERIENCE ALWAYS
PAYS OFF

Jim Poyner

Ken Baxter

Pat Poyner

PERSGHAL INJURY Poyner Baxter Poyner
free laitial Consaitation

www.poynerbaxter.com

Your Lezat Team

988-6321

468 - 145 Chadwick Court, North Vancouver (Lonsdale Quay Plaza)

haunt of (and was filled with)
off-duty police officers.

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" Laser Halr Removal

Favourite ectress .... . Meg Ryan
: The Ultimate

Food . . .ice cecm (mint checolate-chip)
Activities . . .rolle-blading, basketba!!

June at the National
Aquarium in Baltimore, a
tarantula the size of a salad

California, Alberta
- Les... ...to comp ond toke road trips

municipal affairs

THE following’ are brief
summaries of topics on the
agendas of North Shore
_ municipalities and school
boards: a

North Vancouver District
Council: Monday, January 17
at 7. p.m. — delegation
regarding Edgemont West
neighbourhood -- zoning;
development variance permits
for 974 Wavertree Rd. and
4253 Chelsea Cres.; rezoning
* bylaw -re'-bed and breakfast
r¢gulations;. business licence
bylaw to establish two classes
of bed and breakfast business-
es and clarify training pro-
gram; signage regulations for
bed and breakfast; accessory
uses. in the PRO zone;
amendment to Advisory
. Planning. Commission man-
date;. development variance
_ permit process improvements
and options re neighbour-
hood zoning program and

at 7:30 p.m. — delegation re

Dundarave Cafe pub applica-

tion; report from standing
committee on school liaison
issues; parks and recreation
sign guidelines; survey results
re proposed neighbourhocd
pub, 2427 Marine Dr.;
Salmon House on the Hill re
office space.

West Yancouver School
District 45: The next consul-
tative committee mecting is
Tuesday, January 25 at 7 p.m.
North Vancouver School
District 44: Education and
Programs mecting: Tuesday,
January 18 at 7:30 p.m. — K-
7 fine arts curriculum.

plate underwent two CAT
scans to save her from an
infection from a coin-sized
abscess and survived in fine
shape, expected to live anoth-
er 10 years to age 20.
According to the aquarium’s
senior herpetologist, the
tarantula’s only problems now
are her bad habits of showing
her fangs and ejecting barbed
hairs from her posterior.

000

Memorial Land: New
Jersey entrepreneurs recently
proposed a series of memorial
theme parks (“The Final
Curtain”) in which creative
people’s self-designed tombs,
ums and sculptures will house
their remains in world venues
attractive cnough or spectacu-
lar enough to compete for the
public’s entertainment dollar.
One proposal: A man waits to
be buried with a camera that
will televise his decomposition
to spectators.

Sumetimes They Really
Are Innocent: A vigorously
protesting Enrique Salinas,
37, was arrested in Detroit in
September on a New Mexico
shoplifting warrant, heid there
38 days, then returned to a
Santa Fe jail; authorities have
now decided they had the
wrong Enrique Salinas,
although the one they had
was born on the same day in
1962 as the one they wanted
and had a similar facial scar.

And Los Angeles County
agreed in December to pay
Ray Nugent $150,000 fur

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The Standing Committee of Council -
Recreation Facilities Planning =
Invites all community members to attend an

- OPEN HOUSE

ES “Building our Civic Centre”
REMEMBER SHOPPING STONG'S?
WELL, NOW YOU CAK AGAIN!
SHOP GY PHONE, FAX, EMAIL
«OR ON-LINE! .

ETS THAT EASY!

From Deep Cove to Lions Bay

_. singie-family. zoning _ regula-

* tions; noise bylaw variance re
construction work ‘on . the
Lynn Valley Rd. overpass;
‘award .‘of _ contract for

Maplewood Farm visitor cen-
tre. building; bylaw to change
due date for water utility bill. .
North. Vancouver City

‘Come view the preliminary

concepts for a “Civic Centre” on the
22nd Street Central Recreation Site
and the surrounding area.

Ltt

iq

:

Drop-in...

Council: Monday, January 17
at 7. p.m, — Public- hearing:
zoning bylaw re 223-225
West 27th St., to permit a
\ four-unit townhouse arranged
around a small central court-
’ ‘yard; zoning bylaw. re 352
East’ Keith Rd.; zoning bylaw
re°879 Marine Dr. re com-
_ mercial-, .”’ redevelopment.
- Council meeting: raising the
taxes on a package of ciga-
-fettes; North Shore area tran-
sit plan; development variance
permit, Esquires . Coffee,

: council inquiries to be in writ-.

- Mg. | wo
West: Vancouver . District

Stong's Express will deliver your
groceries right to your front door.

PHONE: 266-5191 FAX: 266-5199
EMAIL: cori_bonina@bc.sympatico.ca
ON-LINE: www.stengs.cem

BAVAILASLE MONDAY TO FRIDAY EXCEPT HOLIDAYS
3. ORDERS MUST SE RECEIVED BY 11:05 AM

AND WILL BE DELIVERED THE FOLLOWING DAY
s .. SATURDAY DELIVERIES ARE AVAILABLE BUT
ORDERS MUST BE RECEIVED Bi 11:00.4M FRIDAY.

Tuesday, January 25th, 4:30-8:30 pm
Thursday, January 27th, 4:30-8:30 pm

’ At the

West Community Health Centre:
990 22nd Street, West Vancouver

pee

LE! : E

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION: |

© Parks and Recreation Department: 925-7200
® recfacs@district.west-van.be.ca
© www. westvancouver.com

DISTRICT OF WEST VAN

COUVER