“ae 49 - Sunday, November 7, 1993 - North Shore News It’s a question of identity _ during life’s Gol REALLY, YOU know, it’s quite shocking. The only conclusion one can draw from the following recital is that if you don’t have a car to drive you are quite literally nobody. That driver’s license, - which bears what purports to be your picture (no mat- ter how grotesque), testifies to your validity. ‘*May I see your driver’s license?”’ they say firmly, when you visit another branch of your bank, or when you go to register for civic purposes. “Under many cir- cumstances it is regarded as the only truly reliable iden- tification you have, because: -it carries your photo. One imagines knocking at the pearly gates, and having some crisp angel ask star- chily, ‘‘May I see your driver’s license?”’ So when we get too old to drive anything but nails and bargains, what do we do? We must produce some- - one'who is willing to say, . “Yes, I-know her,” or’: summon up a computer. file that corroborates our claim.: -It,can‘make you feel quite paranoid, defending your ” reality. Kind of Alice-in- “ts'this really “J hen one day I made a’ liscovery. Thad had to do. ‘an-errand for my’ darling in- “the: Motor Vehicle offices, : ~ and the clerk adjacent tome . Was preparing a BCID — British Columbia Identifica- tion Document — for. , another client: It was the first time Ids ever heard of such'a card,’ and hung around to ques- tion her about it. What was ’: it and how could one get one? and what a good idea. - “She was pleased to tel me - it was,a ‘simple: matter of bringing i in my; birth certif- | icate and $15. and that it’. “would render me legitimate forthe rest of my life.. Wonderful! ~~ | ‘Well, the other day when . I was on my way to a. round , of acupuncture in that same ‘building, I realized 1 had * both the time and the $15 _— my birth certificate is on a small laminated card for- + ever in‘ my wallet — so I . ducked in. The magic card would be mine. My life would thus go -swimmingly ever after. Alas. I patiently waited my turn and finally got a chap to THE VINTAGE YEARS “This is made out to Eleanor Bain,”’ said I, ‘‘ am now.Eleanor Godley.”’ “Oh well, then you must bring in your marriage cer- tificate as well as your birth certificate, before the form ; “can be completed properly,’’ 7 said-the clerk with a sigh: He signalled to his associate that he needed . Welp to undo an application - : “and return cash — very- ; ‘tiresome, Computers hate errors, - and so do the people lined -_ up behind the idiot who ' created one! What a stouffie. And where in the world is our marriage certificate? — After 51 years (the bell tolled again on Sept. 16) I haven’t the faintest idea. Gosh, does that mean we're also open to a charge of living in sin?. What do “you suppose the penalty for that is?. A few years ago I bought Learn to ski to your peak len Years! this fancy portable case for filing bills and bank state- ments and golf dues, all life's little impedimenta, and marked one of the sections “Permanent,’’ into which was bestowed serious heavy stuff like my husband’s shares in the golf course and our child’s first tooth and a copy of a column Mamie Moloney once gave me space for. Our marriage license? Not. a sign of it. There is very probably some onerous regimen one _ follows to obtain a copy of , same, probably another $15 ‘involved in that as well. Be sure I will pursue it, because [ very much like the idea of the handy iden- tification card. But — and this is the part that sticks in my crop — if I were male it wouldn’t arise, would it? It irks. Women of my generation -wouldn’t have dreamed of. -Tetaining their own sur- “nasnes when taking a Part- ner. ; There were possibly some “movie stars or operatic divas who could get away with that sort of non-confor- . - mism, but your average “dady of.the house’’ would have been scandalized at the idea. Why, just having such a . couple in the house, and | having to introduce them, would have rent the pains- taking fabric of respectabil- ity we all cherished. So the femaie is expen- . sively categorized. To the barricades! PS: Did I say it would be another 15 bucks? Turns out it’s 25! ni sae Use non-gasoline powered garden tools. | An efficient gas-powered mower can produce geafg’ V3: Hegional oe ied Strict 7: Tell us what matters to you this municipal election You can only cast one vote in the upcoming municipal council and school board elections on November 20th, but you can express yourself every day by dialing the - North Shore News’ “Your Cail” line. Slam or stroke. Pound or praise. Tell us what matters to you and why. Make “Your call” at 983-2208 and the following ‘THE VOICE OF NORTH ANQ WEST VANCCUVER - SUNDAY - WEDNESDAY > FRIDAY Greater Vancouver more emissions than anew fuel-efficient car. same > wi iy Wear after year, we guarantee at Grouse Mountain. oa Grouse Mountain Ski.” School offers classes for all-levels of skiers from the wannabee’s to experts. : Whether it be our famous HeadWay program for beginners, or MidWay for skiers who are tired of skiing the resuits, Simply select your ability level, and we will have you skiing better. ” There are many classes for tots, teens, adults and snowboarders, For the best ski value in the Lower Mainland, call the Grouse Mountain Ski School “and register today at: (604) 980-9311. myself, stated my desire, and offered the necessary form and moolah. The application com- pleted, the clerk passed it to me to sign before taking my picture. 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