Pe )3=3LIFESTYLES Help’s at hand | HELP’S AT Hand, a weekly feature by the North Shore Infor- mation and Volunteer Centre, an- swers questions about and discusses such topics as govern- ment policies and programs, benefits, consumer and legal rights, taxation and public ser- vices. Answers published in this col- umn are intended only as a general guide and should not be applied to specific individual cases without further consultation. kkk Question: Last weekend my sister confided in me that her husband of 17 years has been hitting her. As shocked as I was, I had no idea what to do for her. I can’t imagine him being so crue! to her or the kids. This is very hard for me to believe, but she is my sister, and I know she would not make up such a story. I can’t imagine what she could have done to make him so angry. What can I do for my sister and my brother-in-law? Answer: It is always a shock to any family when it is discovered that there is violence occurring within the home. Your sister needs your support right now. She also needs to know that she is not to blame for the husband's behavior. No one deserves to be beaten or physically abused, no matter what. Physical safety will be the first priority for your sister. It is impor- tant to recognize that ignoring a beating is dangerous. We know that the physical and verbal abuse can only get worse and more fre- quent as time goes on. Your brother-in-law needs help too. Something has led him to believe that he can take out his anger and frustration physically on his wife and, possibly, later on his children. This type of power and control over his family is unacceptable in the community. In the eyes of the law it is a criminal act. One-to-one counselling is avail- able at North Shore Family Ser- vices for men who are physically abusing their loved ones. Only after your brother-in-law has had private counselling, should the family take steps to deal with counselling together. Getting back to your sister, it is important to reassure her that she is not alone. Wife assault happens to many women in ail income and educational levels, in all social classes and in all religious and ethnic groups. The North Shore Crisis Services Society runs the Emily Murphy Transition House on the North Shore for women and children who are living in a violent relationship. The transition house is a 10-bed facility in a cenfidential location on the North Shore. Security and safety are key components of its services. Women and their children can stay for 30 days and receive sup- port, community referrals, court and police accompaniment, medi- ca} and financial referrals and education on the issue of violence in the home. Research shows that children who are witnesses to the violence could abuse in their adult lives. Child advocate workers at Emily Murphy House are trained to sup- port the children through this dif- ficult time away from home and friends. Your sister needs your moral support and your reassurance that she is not to blame. Help her to find the assistance she needs to live free from violence. You can help her make a safety plan in advance and give her the Crisis Line phone number to Emily Murphy House, 987-3374. If your sister is not ready at this point to make major changes in her life, do not take away your help and friendship. Your support and encouragement may be what will make it possible for her to act at a later date. Your sister does not need to become a resident of Emily Mur- phy House to benefit from its pro- grams. Women can call 24 hours a day, seven days a week for support and/or information. The house also runs a weekly support group for women who have left or are sull in a violent relationship. Encourage her to contact the transition house. we & The North Shore and Volunteer Centre, a Way agency, is located at 1060 Roosevelt Cres., North Vancouver, B.C. V7P IM, telephone 985- 7138. This column is prepared with financial assistance from the Notary Foundation. information United TO ALL 10TH SEYMOUR CUBS & SCOUTS Our long time Cub Master, scouts canapa i John Davies, passed away in November following a long illness. His love & dedication to “His Boys” will be sincerely missed. Fundamental purpose animating the Faith of God and His religion is to Safe God the interests and promote the unity of the human race, and to foster the spirit of love and fellowship amongst men. Suffer it not to become a source of dissension and discord, of hate and enmity. For more information contact 731-8199 Le Petit Montessori Academy An enriched BILINGUAL PRE-SCHOOL has a few spots for September classes. We offer 4 & 5 day programs for children 3-5 years old. Our school is conveniently located near Lonsdale & Hwy. #1. Now taking registration for the school year 1990/91. « REGISTER: NOW FOR. SEPTJS0. 980-7973 195 East Windsor Koad, N. Van. ENTER TO WIN AT: 6334 Bay Street, Horseshoe Bay, W. Van. Contest dates: Jan. 23 - Feb. 4, 1990. Random draw: Feb. 14. Approx. retail value of prize: $1500. Contest is open to customers over the age of majority. Selected entrant must correctly answer a skill-testing question in order to win. Prize must be accepted as awarded. No purchase necessary. Details at all Big Scoop Restaurants. 45 - Sunday, January 21, 1990 - North Shore News : STANDARD F. ARE : VANCOUVER - MEFROPOLITAN * “CAT FANCIERS : INFORMATION: nie -~9359 OR. 888-157 _ NORTH SHORE FAMILY SERVICES SOCIETY EDUCATION PROGRAM Winter 1990 7) -PARENTINGS : PARENTING THE 9 MONTH TO 2 YEAR OLD Fee $48.00/Single. $75.00/Couple FSOt Jan. 24-Mat [4 Highlands Comm Sch. & Wednesdays 3150 Colwood Dr 7 30-9.30 North Vancouver PARENTS OF SCHOOL AGE CHILDAEN Fee $46 U0/Single; $65 OOrCoupie FS10 Feb. 7-Mar. 14 Westover Comm Sch 8 Meanescays 3467 Duval North Vancouver PARENTS OF TEENS- HOPING FOR HARMONY Fee $36 00/Single, $60.00/Coupie FS20 Jan 25-Mar. 1 Sutherland Sec. Sch 6 Thursdays 1860 Sutherland Ave 7.30-9 30 North Vancouver PARENTHOOD Fee $36.00/Single, $60.00/Courie FS30 Boundary Comm. Sch 6 Thursdays 750 E. 26th St 7.30-9:30 Nortn Vancouver SIBLINGS WITHOUT RIVALRY Fee $30.00/Single; $50.00/Coupie FS38 Feb. 7-Feb. 28 Boundary Comm. Sch. 4 Wednesdays 750 €. 26th St 730-9 30 North Vancouver Feb 8-Mar. 15 2 CHANGES (2 Out. GRIEVING & LOSS Fee: $36 00 Feb. 8-Mar. 15 6 Thursdays 7.30-9.:30 Ste. t, 1410 Clyde ‘Ave West Vancouver * era al SRILLS Ot YOU AND YOUR ADULT CHILOREN, Fee $15.00 Fsso Fed 19-Feb. 26 West Van Sec. Sch 2 Mondays 1750 Mathers 7.30-9 30 West Vancouver MARRIAGE PREPARATION Fee $6800 FSS3 Fen. 5-Mar. 12 NSFSS 6 Mondays 303-126 E. 15th St 7:30-9:30 North Vancouver WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH - tevet Fee $36.00 Jan. 30-Mar. 6 Sutherland Sec. Sch. 6 Tuesdays 1860 Sutherland Ave 7:30-9:30 North Vancouver DEPRESSION iN WOMEN Fs83 Fee $3000 Feb 7-Feb 28 Carson Graham Sec Sch 4 Wednesdays 2145 Jones Ave. 7:30-9:30 North Vancouver FAMILY OF ORIGIN: FAMILY TODAY 5 Fee $1500 Feb 6Feb 13 Carson Graham Sec Sch 2 Tuesdays 2145 Jones Ave. 7 30-9 30 North Vancouver ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING Fee $3000 Feb 20-Mar 13 4 Tuesdays 700-9 30 Carson Graham Sec Sch. 2145 Jones Ave North Vancouver GOAL SETTING AS A SKILL Fee $36 00 Feb 6-Mar 13 6 Tuesdays 730-930 Carson Graham Sec. Sch 2145 yones Ave North Vancouver 988-5281 HEALING THE INNER CHILD - LEVEL | Fee $1800 FS69 Jan. 31-Fep. 7 Boundary Comm. Sch 2 Wednesdays 750 E. 26th St. 7 90-9 30 Norih Vancouver LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF Fee $45.00 FS72 Feb 6-Mar. 13 Boundary Comm. Sch 6 Tuesdays 70 E. 26th St. 7 00-9 30 North Vancouver OISCUSSING ADOPTION WITH YOUR CHILD Fee. $15.00/Singie: $25/Couple sat dan. 3i-Feb. 7 2 Wednesdays Carson Granam Sec. Sen. 2145 Jones Ave. 730-930 North Vancouver “MINE LECTURES = POSITIVE DISCIPLINE WORKSHOP Fee: $1100 FS33 Feb. 13 Catson Graham Sec. Sch 1 Tuesday 2145 Jones Ave. 700-9 30 North Vancouver TRAITS OF HEALTHY FAMILIES Fee: $9.00 Fss« Mar. 6 Carson Graham Sec. Sch. 1 Tuesday 2145 Jones Ave 7:30-9:30 North Vancouver DREAM ON Fee $1100 FST9 Feb. 12 Carson Graham Sec. Scn 1 Monday 2145 Jones Ave. 7 00-9.30 North Vancouver PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME Fee: $900 Fsso Feb. 20 Carson Graham Sec. Sch + Tuesday 2145 Jones Ave 7:30-9'30 North Vancouver NO MORE HOT FLASHES FS83 Fee $9.00 Feb. 27 Carson Graham Sec. Scn 2145 Jones Ave. 1 Tuesday 7-30-9:30 North Vancouver 'NIGHT>SCHOOL-IN A DAY. ON BEING SINGLE Fee: $28 ou FSSt Feb Carson Graham Sec. Sch. t Saturday 2145 Jones Ave North Vancouver 0 DEMYSTIFYING ANGER FS6s Lucas Center 1 Saturday 2132 Hamilton Ave. 9 00. Narth Vancouver HEALING THE INNER CHILD - LEVEL It Fee $2800 FS7t Lucas Center 1 Sanutuay 2132 Hamilton Ave. 900-4 00 North Vancouver THE ART OF LISTENING Fee $2800 FS73 Feb 17 Lucas Centre 1 Saturday 2132 Hamilton Ave 900-4 00 Narth Vancouver COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY - LEVEL i Fee $2800 FS74 Feb 24 1 Saturday 9 00-4.00 $28 00 tee inctudes tunch Feb. 17 tueas Center 2132 Hamilton Ave North Vancouver FOR FURTHER INFORMATION OR TO REGISTER PLEASE CALL 988-5281 NORTH SHORE FAMILY SERVICES 303 - 126 East 15th Street, N. Van. V7L 2P9