18 - Friday, January 22, 1999 — North Shore News Punchdrunk at the Virtua Julie Wright Conrributing Writer THE other day I complained that no one tells jokes anymore. Nowadays, jokes are e-mailed. This method means never getting the chance to stop the teller short and say “I've heard that one.” It also means the prolifera- tion of a whole new joke format: the tedious and occasionally funny Hist. Recent examples include “Top 10 Camps You Don’t Want To Send Your Children To” and the extreme but true “S7 New Sayings For Buttons.” By the time vou’ve scrofied down to reach saving number 28, “Pm trving to imagine you with a pers nothing sounds funny any- more — ‘er was that fanny in the first place. I find myself wondering who the hell reads all this stuf¥and who writes it in the first place? F suspect thar each e-mail is a work in progress with budding Jay Lenos adding their own witticisms before forwarding. WT'm right about this, in the near future, | will probably receive a familiar looking e-mail under the utle “Pop 63 Camps You Don't Want ‘fo Send Your Chiidren Yo.” Mv in-box has become a virtual comedy club where every night is amateur night. Yourre in the audience whether you want to be or net, aad if the comedy ts ait-colour, and much of it is, vou have to read the e-mail to find out. Oh va, there’s also no heckling. When T mentioned my beef to someone recently, [ was accused of not doing mv part to spread humour. Oh, fs that what's going on here? | bee your pardon. I quite missed the point of the “87 New Savings For Buttons.” But is humour a thing that one can really spread? Pd say it’s more like something you find. For instance, you can spread venereal dis- ease. You can spread butter. And vou can " spread joy. Consenting adults can even spread all three at che same ume. (However, | caution thar the lasting result of such activity may be the spread of misery.) Go You cannot, however, spread hamour. The senders of gag e-mails don’t yet it. Just because vou tind something funny, doesn’t mean that all others will too, Ifvou send these e-mails, you mav never know whether vour joke has bombed with vour duaietce. Sa, pick vour audicnes carefiil- iy Isat funny to cight-vear-olds? Then send it to vour cight-vear-old friends only. T myself forwarded an e-mail joke that backfired on me a few years ago, (That was before I got fed up with such ¢-mails, or around the time | became self-emploved and company time and my time became one and the same.) The theme of this e-mail was a news report out of Croatia announcing that the United Nations had just launched a massive air drop of vowels to the consonant scarce war-torn region. I forwarded this e-mail with best intentions to a Croatian colleague who smarty replied in person. He explained that his family members were in great danger in his former country and, although he saw the humour intended, he just couidn’t laugh at the situation. eather study a breath of fresh air @ The Wins Came All Ways by Owen S. Lange, Environment Canada. 122 pp., $22.50 Peter Spack Publisher IF you have ever had occasion to look out of your boat and say “Where the heck did that come from?” you may find the answers in this very interesting 122-page book on local weather. Te's a must for sailors who race in the Strait of Georgia, and makes interesting and thoughtful reading for any other mariners, including motor boaters. There are many people in Vancouver who have never set foot in a boat who will also find this a very interest- ing and illuminating read. Mr. Lange explains the quirks of our local terrain and the behaviour of our winds in a way that any other weather book chat Ive read fails to address. Most of the other weath- er books seem ro be written for sailors who are hundreds of miles from land, not us lecal Strait sailors who con- tend with unsuspected Qualicum winds and three- day northwesterlics, spray- freezing Squamish outflow winds, southcasterlies that seem to come from nowhere, patches of wind in one place and acres of calms in another adjacent plot of water. The book is well-iliustrat- ed with very clear maps and diagrams. Now I know about push winds, and pull winds. It’s now more or less clear to me how wind flows from an area of high pressure to low pres- sure (in a descending spiral), and I have a much better idea of how many more local phenomena occur. The book is very charm- ingly illuminated with quotes from Emily Carr’s journals, and one of her paintings graces the front and back covers. Laser Printer BC LASER R428 backano RESELLER & OKIDATA iit Service On the North Shore . Expert Service ct your office or ours. * HP, Okidata, IBM\/Lexmark, Canon, Panasonic & most brands ~ © Premium Quality Remanufactured Toner Cartridges « Gugrantesd satisfaction © We refill Ink Jet cartridges Gpen Mon. - Fri. 984°7661 204 Gonoghy Av., North Von The book has a spiral binding, and opens flat to any page, which will make it very handy on board — which is where my own copy is going. North Shore resident Owen S. Lange, an expert marine weather forecaster, is also the anther of the Marine Weather Hazards Manual. Environment Canada’s address is-120- 1200 West 73rd Ave., Vancouver, V6P 6H9. E-mail contact Fax 1-800-672-2151; phone 664-9355, Alsa available from authorized distributors. GOT a craving for an evening of original, acoustic music? You can satisfy that crav- ing and support a good cause when vou check out Circle of Song Wednesday evening at Presentation House. Local musicians Shawn Carle, Geoff Gibbons, Morgan Pendleton, Mark James Fortin, Leslie Alexander and POINTMENT NOTICE Debbie Casey, Vice President. Private Client Services, Bank of Monireal, is pleased to announce the appointment of Pamela Skinner as Senior Manager, Trust Services for The Trust Company of Bank of Montreal in Vancouver in Vancouver. Pamela leaves the North Shore real estate industry where for some years she has partnered her husband at Re/Max Crest Realty. in addition to 3 years in an in-house accounting capacity, Pamela has ¥2 years experience with one of Canada’s largest trust companies and brings a broad range of credentials, including a Bachelor of Science degree (Economics), a Certified General Accountant designation as well as being a Certified Financial Planner. In her new position, Pamela will be responsible for the development. and management of Wills, Estates and Investment Administration Sorvices as they are offered through Private Client Services for Vancouver. Telling jokes the old-tashioned wav seems 2 rare ability these days. P wonder if that has something to de with people's discomfort over the whole politically correct thing. The reason T don’t tell a dot of jokes myself is that ] can’t remember punchlines. and there is nothing worse than dubbing the punchline. It also has to de with the ract that most jokes I hear aren't worth repeating. What f find the most amusing iv ustally another person’s real stories. Let's face it. Today, real life is funnier than fiction. And for that very reason, we all need a good laugh from time to time. That said, sending jokes via ¢-mail is just weak delivery. There are betier ways te “spread” humour, if such a thing is at all possi- ble. Here’s my system: make sure to do at least a couple of unbelievably dumb things a month and then recount them te a few select people. Usually, they’H jaugh and feel clever them- selves, And it’s so much easier to remember the punchline if you've lived it. — Horseshoe Bay resident Julie Wright con- tributes a monthly colunin to the North Shore Nens’ This Week section. Evening benefits youth Yvonne McSkimming will perform in two scts begin- ning at 7:30 p.m. The evening has been organized by Fortin, who is the coordinator of the 3rd Sxep Program, which assists youth with learning or behaviour preblems. Proceeds wil! benefit the program and Presentation House, Admission is by a minimum S5 donation. -