48 - Wednesday, November 15, 1989 - North Shere News WOMAN AFRAID TO BE KISSED 33-year-o Q. YOU’VE HEARD about 16 and never been kissed? Well, try 33. That’s me — 33 and if I am ever alone with a man FI panic. Naturally, even my friends think lam gay, but I'm not. It’s men i dig, but I dig out when any male shows a male interest in me. Peo- ple say EF 2:n too picky about who I datz, but that isn’t it. I just never have more than one date with a guy because [ panic and act nutty. T realiy wanted to go on past the fiest date last time I dated a guy, but he tried to kiss me and I nearly slugged him. What can I do? A. First, do nothing. There is no rush — not at 33 or 66. Making a good connection with a partner is fortunate, and it is more likely if a person circulates a lot among peo- ple, but you can have a pleasant life alone. Every human being ought to know the pleasures of be- ing companionless, and I count the best of these pleasures as the freedom to choose one’s occupa- tions and to spend time without constant reference to someone else. I am not-a solitary person. | have a husband and family, the lights of my life, but 1 can be alone for a while without panic or desolation, cad I know some hap- py solitary people. Get rid of that pressure to connect with someone. Learn how to live on your own pleasantly. Welcome the company of men, but don’t feel obliged to find one to tame for your own right away. 'f you are relaxed it is easier to get aman you like. As for kissing and other physical contacts, or premonitions of sexual encountering, you really ought to have some talks with a psychotherapist about your feel- ings. You have not defined them yourself; you know you have them INTRODUCING s You're invited ... but can’t think why. It will help you to talk frankly for once with another person, one who is in- formed, disposed to help you and will listen. You can't get rid of or contro} feelings if you don’t really understand them. Q. Now teenagers as a group are increasingly more victimized by AIDS. is this going to wake them up to the danger, whick they have been pretty much denying? A. Some teenagers have been quoted as saying that the warnings about AIDS are just adult pro- paganda to keep kids in line sex- ually. If the AIDS virus reaches epidemic status among teenagers, no doubt some sexually active teenagers will either start practic- ing chastity or using those precau- tions known in this era as safer sex. But we cannot ease up on the warnings and let the disaster become the warning. We have to keep on warning young people and giving them the best information availasle. And we have to support all efforts to find a cure for the ailment. Magna Play's ‘Fridge Fun’ Magnetic Puzzles educational children’s puzzles conceived and design- ed right here on the North Shore Sandy Butt Fiona Ahrens Meet: Bear’s Toy Store 1511 Bellevue Ave., November 17, 18, 19 — 12-4 p.m. November 24, 25, 26 — 12-4 p.m. To the launch of a whole NEW range of creative | West Van 926-2327 = ae SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FOR XMAS! ye Q. Lam in my 30s and have been married 10 years. I can’t have an orgasm unless stimulated in some other way than sexuai intercourse. Is this unusual? Also, in my sexual fantasies I am watching my hus- band making love to a friend of mine he thinks very attractive. ask Dr. Ruth Ruth Westheimer Why do I do this, and is it normal? A. You, too, are normal, and that ts rothing to be ashamed of. 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