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Paying the piper in Mexico

IF I’M to tell this travel story in proper sequence, I must

first tell you about answering machines. I detest them.

I do not own one — if I were
given one for a gift, 1 would pawn
it. I have been known to leave

obnoxious messages on answering -

machines and will do so again.
However, [ like to phone home
while !’m away, so I generally call
during the day to Brian’s office,
where our oldest daughter runs
the front desk. Lori is an efficient
lady and keeps me fully informed,
passes messages to her sisters and
serves as a data headquarters.

That system broke down during -

the past couple of weeks.

While we were ‘‘vanning”? our
way up the U.S. coast from
California, Lori was sunning
herself in Puerto Escondito, Mex-
ico. That’s darn near the
Guatemalan border and hardly the
spot to locate your data centre.

I called home to both Suzy and
Janine and left appropriate garbl-

ed messages on their ugly little

machines as our holiday pro-
gressed. Finaliy, I called Suzy and
got an earful!

“I’m writing your next travel
column, you idiot! Why don’t you
practise what you preach? Why
didn’t you phone me? Hew can

Advance boarding passes

THE’ BUSY traveller’s dream of
bypassing airport check-in
counters becomes reality June 15
with the introduction by Air
Canada of advance boarding
passes. —

‘The passes contain all pertinent
flight information, including the
seat number, and permit passen-
gers travelling without luggage to
board an aircraft directly once
departure has been announced.
Those with luggage must. still
check their bags but can then pro-

ceed immediately to the gate.

' Advance boarding passes can be
‘issued for all scheduled Air

Canada flights and those of its

five Connector airlines. For secu-

rity reasons, passengers on inter-
national flights, and those return-
ing to Canada from the United

Barbara
NicCreadie

TRAVELWISE

you be so irresponsible? Do you
realize that I’m on a first-name
basis with all the long distance
operators in California and
Oregon?’”

“Hell, no!”

“Lori’s married!”’

Steaming Suzy went on to tell
me that if she could have found
us in time, we all could have

States, must still check in before
the flight for document verifica-
tion.

The new passes will be offered
initially to full-fare passengers
and their companions, as well as
Aeroplan Elite or Prestige
members and Maple Leaf Club
Gold Card holders. The service
will be extended in September to
all passengers.

The airline will be able to con-
firm seats and produce boarding
passes as early as 30 days prior to
departure. The passes will be
available at Air Canada city sales
offices and airport check-in loca-
tions, as well as participating
travel agencies. The start-up date
of June 15 is designed to give
agencies time. to install the re-
quired equipment.

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11:00AM
11:30AM

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Mediterranean
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12:00 NOON Panama Canali

12:30PM —Italy, France and
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China, Japan &

; Orient

Coffee & Doughnuts

1:00PM

oitent & Java Seas
Scandinavia

Canary Islands,
Morocco and Spain

Greek Isles &
Ancient Civilizations

Mexican Riviera

1:30PM
2:00PM
2:30PM

3:00PM
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flown down for the ceremony.

Due to my lack of attitude,
their beloved sister got married
with only our new son-in-law, a
judge and a clutch of strangers.

Neither Suzy nor Janine was
happy about that.

Getting legally married in. Mex-
ico takes a bit of doing.

If you have the plan in mind
before you leave Canada, a trip to

the Mexican Consulate here will .

set you straight. However, our
two had no such idea in mind
when they left on a holiday to
visit Gerry’s father. The senior
Rutherford owns a_ recreational
condominium development in
Puerto Escondito.

With the help of a Mexican
friend, they found a judge who
was authorized to perform mar-

riages. Fortunately, they had a.

fluent interpreter to help with
fulfilling the paperwork the judge
felt he needed.

The first bit entailed a trip to
Mexican Immigration for permis-
sion. Instead, they got a letter
from Immigration to the judge
(one he should already have
received) stating that the ‘‘permis-
sion”? was no longer necessary.

Next, a Certificate of Health
issued by a Mexican doctor was

introduced

“This new feature complements
the extensive Air Canada package
of value-added products, such as
SeatFones, Chauffeur Drive and
Park ’N Fly,’’ said Paul Brotto,
vice-president, passenger market-

ing.

“It goes hand-in-hand with our
philosophy of ensuring that our
customers have the most efficient
flying experience we can offer,’’
he added.

Those seats reserved with an
advance boarding pass will be held
until 10 minutes prior to departure
(iS minutes international), at
which time they will be released to
other passengers.

demanded. Neither was enchanted
with the idea -- was this to be a
complete physical, performed by a
total stranger with instructions in
Spanish? Frankly, had I been in
that position 1 might have had
serious second thoughts.
However, they hauled
themselves to the doctor. He took

"one look at them, announced that

they were the healthiest looking
people he’d seen in ages — and
signed the paper.

The cost — 60,000 pesos ($20).

Papers in hand, they hustled
back to the judge, planning to
marry in a few days. This would
give them time to get dolled-up
for the occasion and have Gerry’s
father attend.

“There was no way that judge
was postponing it! I think he
thought that if he let us out of his
sight, we’d back out. Living in sin
isn’t encouraged in Mexico.”’

The next item on the agenda
was deciding what sort of mar-
riage they would prefer. It was

explained to them by the judge,.

through the interpreter, that there
are two legal forms of marriage in
Mexico. .

“The first is a conventional mar-
triage whereby each becomes
responsible for each other finan-

cially-— assets, income and debts -

become community property. The
second form is physically binding
but all properties involved remain
separate.

Gerry and Lori opted for plan

A — “pooling their debts’? is how -

they described it.

The last obstacle proved to be
no obstacle at all. To be legal, a
Mexican marriage requires four
Mexican citizens as witnesses. The
judge strode into his waiting room
and pointed his finger — ‘‘you,
you and you! Inside!’’ Along with
their Mexican interpreter friend,
they ended up with a housewife, a
doctor and a lime farmer.

The ceremony was, naturally,
all in Spanish.

“¥ didn’t understand a word of
it,”? Lori remarked. ‘‘In fact, i
didn’t even know we were married
until the judge told Gerry to kiss

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the bride.’’ Gerry speaks enough
Spanish that he didn’t have to be
told twice.

The service cost 100,000 pesos
($33) and 60,000 pesos for the
typist.

So, last Friday the McCreadie
family met the happy couple at
the airport. We brought along
signs, streamers and wedding
flowers. J hired a piper.

I didn’t tell our other daughters
about the piper until Friday morn-
ing. They had fits.

Suzy warned me that Lori
would -be horrified and would
probabiy run for the nearest taxi
— fleeing from the sideshow.
Both warned me that my oldest
daughter may never speak to me
again. .

I panicked, phoned. the piper :

and apologetically cancelled. Oo
The flight arrived, the newlyw-
eds and half of the Mexican na-
tional consumer inventory wheeled
out of Customs to an enthusiastic
welcome — including applause

from bystanders.
As we were heading for the

parking lot, Lori remarked that .-

she was just delighted with the
welcome. I said, ‘Well, you near-
ly had a piper but your sisters
made me cancel.”?

“They what? Damn! We'd have.
loved a piper.’

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