Temper ANYONE who has teens, or has had teens, is familiar with the phrase, “What? You don’t trust me?” It’s usually expressed in the heat of some argument and there’s a vein or two pop- ping trom their, or your, tore- head. Take heed, and don’t be tempted to answer that question, not in the midst of emotional angst on either side. Trust is a sensitive issue with teens. In the evolution from child to adult, they per- ceive that some miracle sud- denly happens which brings clarity to their judgement and the highest standards of moral understanding to their deci- sion-making. In essence, they kids a5" ws. WEDNESDAYS Babytales: Songs and rhymes for newborns to 24 months Wednesdays at 10:30 a.m. unal Nov. 29. Pre-register at Capilano Lib . Toddletales: Short stories for ages 2-3 on Wednesdays at 10:30 am. until Nov. 29 at Parkgate Library. Storytales: Longer stories for ages 4-6 on Wednesdays at 10:30 am. until Nov. 29 ar Lynn Valley Library. Drop-in Toddlers Storytime: For ages 2-3 at the North Van City Library. Wednesdays and Fridays at 10 a.m. or 11 a.m. Info: 998-3480. -in Storytime Fun: For oni en aged 3-5 years at the West Van Memonal Library. Wednesdays, at 10:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. and Fridays, at 10:30 a.m. Stories, songs, action rhymes and more. Info: 925- 7408. THURSDAYS Toddletales: Short stories for ages 2-3 on Thursdays at 10:30 a.m. until, Nov. 30 at Lynn Valley Library. © : Storytales: Longer stories for ages 4-6 on Thursdays at 10:30 a.m. until Nov. 30 at Parkgate Library. Storytales: Tales for ages 4-6 on Thursdays at 10:30 a.m. . until Nov. 30 at.Capilano Library. Sleepytales for the whole fami- ly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. To Nov. 30 at Parkgate Library. Babytime: For children aged 6-24 months at the West Van Memorial Library. Tuesdays or Thursdays, at 10:30 a.m. Song, action rhymes, fingerplays and picture books. Children must be accompanied by a parent or caregiver. Register at the youth services information desk or phone 925-7408. Drop-in Babes Storytime: For newborns to 24 months at the North Van City Library. Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10:30 a.m. Info: 980-4424. International Fairytales and Craft: For 6-9-year-olds at the North Vancouver City Library. Parental Guidance come to the conclusion that adults, and particularly their parents, have entered the early stages of dementia and have no right to question what thev wish ta do. The contest between independent wills can be pretty intense during these years. It’s important, I think, for parents and their teens to sit down sometime, other than at the most heated moment, and Tuesday and Thursday, Nov. 28 and 30, at 3:30 p.m: Co try featured is Peru. Pre- -rewister: 980-4424. FRIDAYS Wave Rave Grades 6-7: Karen Magnussen Wave Pool, Friday, Nov. 17, 8-10 p.m. Ride the waves, listen to the DJ and %: Winner of the" 99 President’ Award of Merit These are iumted hme oars. 36-mo jouse apples to 2001 Pattihnder XE (SCLGSt AAOG? Downpayment >» equivalent rade $6.473. Required at sagring $7.336 Total obligation $20,441 Leases are OAT, close ended, incude destination and calvery charges. Based on 24.600 km a yoar fot he 2001 Pathtinder only Ottet apptes ta 2001 Xterra (ACLG51 AAD0): Seiing price micludes destination and detiwety Tases, msuzance., licenses and acyustion ue of trust. [tis not a simple term and needs to be well defined and under- stood by both sides befere it is debated during conflict. trust is something eloped over a long time period of consistent behavior and demonstrated good decision-makin problem with it, of course, is that a single breach of it can undo a long period of trust. Steal or cheat once, and doubt is easily planted. Since teens are emerging adults, they have little experi- ence in adult decision -mak- ing. It may not be that the parent doesn’t trust the integrity of the child as much as the parent doesn’t trust the perience of the child to respond appropriately to cer- enjoy pizza and pop. Babytales: Fun for all new- burns to 24 months on Fridays at 10:30 a.m. until Dee. 2 at Lynn Valley Library. SATURDAYS Lynn Valley Parent Participation Preschool: Wednesuay, November 15, 2000 - North Shore News - 21 of ye ur teen wi tain situations. This is a major point in dealing with the question, “Don t yeu trust me?” Being able ro differenti- ate between questions of character, which are deeply personal, and questions of experience, which are simply practical, can help to avoid the problem of completely affronting a teen every time you say no, The answer to the question is now, “Yes F trust you, but [don't trust that you've had enough experience to deal with the possible problems, so my answer is no.” They'll still vell, slam doors, and make your life a misery for several hours, or weeks, but at le au haven't attacked their integri- ty and burned a bridge that Open house, Saturday, Nov. 18, 10 am.-1] p.m., 3220 Mountain Hwy. Bring your kids. Info: Barb at 987-0288. Family Storytime: Enjoy a half hour of stories, puppets and song for the whole family. No registration —_ required. Saturday, Nov. 18, 25 at 10:30 p.m., West Van Library. ith gui can fast along ume, usually until they have teenagers of their own. Make no mistake, teenagers need guidance more than they need blind trust. They are, for the mest part, impulsive, inv ulnerable and impetuous. With new wings that spanking rence, the bor- ders of their world suddenly expand tenfold. Left untet- tered, these seemingly bound- less horizons can be a serious problem for the teen who isn’t quite disciplined enough to really stop and consider the repercussions of an action, Teens and ears, in particu- lar, are a high-risk combina- tion in the first year of dri- ving. Imagine the combina- tion of having a ton or more room ance of fast-moving steel with almost no experience in judg- ing just what it’s going to do in various possible scenarios, Now combine that with par- ties and alcohol and loud mmusic playing and cight peo- ple piled on top of each other and vou don’t have to have much imagination to see the potential problem. Tip of the week: Trust character ifit’s been consis- tent, but monitor judgement. To keep it all in perspective, think about some of the things you might have done when vou were a teen and then monitoring vour own might not seem like such a bad idea. — Graham Hookey is the author of Parenting Is A Team Sport . Birthday Parties | trom only’9 per person I Including 3 games of Lasertag and then 1 hour in our Party Room with a pan size Pizza each & pop. ! Call now for more infot 3 Games of Lasertag yony'B™ per person with this coupon) Not vaild with other promotions. Expires Dec. 31/00 sa ca cee ce te ee es care as woes ome ral _ 1a} West loth Street, Norih’Van PH: 985-6033." REGENCY N ISSAN | 9835-95 Ti 700 0 Marine Drive, North Vancouver WwW. regemcyaito.corms fees are extra. 4.8% retal tmance fates apply 19 2001 Patntindar only Dealers are free 10 set indiedual pncas. See yma Nissan Dealer tor deteds, DRIVEN.