4 - Friday, July 31, 1992 - North Shore News Greater Tiddlycove is far from accommodating ALMOST A year ago I suggested that West Van- couver needed a really super, full-service, top- flight hotel. My proposal was greeted with a loud and contemptuous silence. it was broken, to be sure, by the response of my revered North Shore News colleague, Noel Wright. He thought | was nuts. He put it more clegantly than that, of course. But | can read be- tween the lines as well as the next man. That's what he meant. But [ have egrittily persevered in my belief. Doug Collins isn't the only bulldog around here, you know. Look, when the going gets tough, the tough get lunching, right? Instead of obstinately repeating my argument, though, I'll be more graphic. I'll describe a hotel I visited recently that is exactly what Greater Tiddlycove needs — and, with its immense wealth, can af- ford. I won’t name the hotel. That would be dreadful commercialism. it would taint my reputation for cool objectivity. Some readers might suspect that I was on the take. That the hotel gave me a price break, or something. Not at ali. The hotel people didn’t know who | was. Then again, few people do. Even my mother used to reistake me for another kid down the block. And that was before | hid my duelling scar with a rose (see picture), But it won't hurt to give you a hint. So first, think of: spring, summer, fall, winter. Now think of a range of mountains. Finally, name a city approximately 140 miles south of here that doesn’t begin with the letter E (for Everett) or T (for Tacoma). If you can’t figure it out now, pal, you better stick to watching the Olympics for the rest of the season. OK, you guessed: it’s the Four Seasons Olympic Hotel in Seattle. I just couldn’t fool you. I stayed there for a couple of days last year. But | wanted to verify my research. So I went back again this year. Same result: the data hit 100 on the Pamper Index. What is this hotel like? You see it for the first time, and it stinks money. lt is a grand edilice in the Italian Renaissance style. You have to kick your way through the lousy Lincolns and Cadillacs to the door, where Bentleys and Rolls-Royces may be discreetly parked. Last year we drove up in my late father’s rusted 1980 Chev. New Ape ets ty ighest quali Wide selection Lowest Prices in town Guaranteed trade-ins, repairs and handwashing Bring tn this ad fora 5% discount (offer ends August 5, 1992) ORIENTAL RUGS 1434 Lonsdale Ave. . Vancouver 987- 3365 | Trevor Lautens GARDEN OF BIASES Out sprang my wife, three tots, nanny and I. We unloaded the trunk, It was the first time in its history that a Four Seasons bellboy carried in loys and kids’ clothes in plastic bags marked “Buy-Low”’ and “Safeway “Don't be fooled,’* I shouted at the doorman. ‘‘Under the hood, there’s a Ferarri engine.” This year my wife and | went. From our stable of five cars we chose her late father’s 1976 Plymouth. I never use the same line twice, so this time I cried — loud enough to be heard by the rich throng waiting for car valet ser- vice who stared at us with icy amazement — ‘‘Don’t jump to conclusions, 1’m an eccentric Ca- nadian millionaire.’ No, honestly, | did. My little jokes. But, seriously, the hotel staff reflects perfect training: .there is an even level of courtesy and no snobbery at all — nor any condescension. The staff radiates intelligent good breeding. The very worst | could say of one or two back- corridors staff members is that they were indifferent or perhaps too preoccupied to say a friendly hello.” Enter, and you are in a truly magnificent lobby. Tasteful, not overdone, and v The room: a little sitting room. A bar, of course. French doors to the bedroom, A smallish suite over-all, but cosy. Bathroom: luxurious. Satin-like soaps, shampoo, hand lotion, bath gel. Three phones in the suite, including one located in a place for the executive who can do more than one thing at the same time Also litule additional things, like weight scales and one of those “mirrors that magnify your face horribly and show every imperfec- tion, so that even right after shav- ing your stubble looks like a forest of denuded stumps. Then there's the hotel's swim- ming hole. I guess it’s called ESTATE ARTICLES & & ANTIQUES 1] something more chic. Anyway, it’s more elegant by quite a bit than, say, the Hannon Quarries near Hamilton where kids went to shinnydip in my youth. The dressing rooms are simply superb, Elegant wooden lockers. Wonderful showers. Blow-dryers. Square, manly botdes of shaving cream and such. (I imagine there are womanly bottles of different things in the women's d ing room, but J didn’t check.) A sauna, of course. A spin- dryer that whirts the water out of your bathing suit in about five se- conds. And throwaway paper slippers to keep your feet from touching the common floor. Beside the pool: threv e: machines in front of a tele set. A weight room. Morning cof- fee around the pool. A sun deck at each end. A man could get spuiled. (1 don’t know about a woman. | haven't checked being a woman, either.) The pool is my wife’s favorite area. Mine, too. | always follow her example. And the dining establishments? The Georgian Room, the Garden Court, Shuckers (a fine oyster and seafood restaurant), presided over by executive chef Kerry Sear, who once had that role at the Four Seasons, Vancouver — well, why go on? It's just plain sybaritic. Here’s the sort uf hotel it is: praise the Irish soda bread, and your waiter says he'll give you the recipe, apologizes later that it isn't available at the moment, but he'll see that it’s mailed. And, a few days Jater, it arrives. Put your shoes outside the door at night, tuck in a couple of dollars as a tip, and you get them back shined in the morning — with a nice ca Thank you for your kindness. Ben. The place is truly a knockout. Did | mention that it was built in 1924, underwent an [8-month, $60 inillion restoration in the early 1980s, and is on the National Reg- ister of Historic Places? I should have, Price? Always a distasteful sub- ject, buc I knew § paid a mere $215 -- a fantastic bargain. More fantastic: on weekends, there’s a discount. Even more fantastic, last winter when Seattle made a clever pitch for off-season tourists, there was a special rate of S115. Unbelievabic. But then the whole place is unbelievable to a poor boy like me. OF course it wouldn't be to most West Vancouverites. They live like this all the time. But people who want to visit our fair community? Almost zilch. However, there’s a great choice of those fabulous motels on Kingsway... UNRESERVED 2,.noon-Sprh. | AUCTION AUCTION SUNDAY, AUGUST 2nd TO START 3 PM SHARP FREE RUGS WILL BE GIVEN OUT EVERY HOUR! “NO BUYER’S PREMIUM” FURNITURE ¢ ORIENTAL RUGS « JEWELLERY « PAINTING SILK & WOOL RUGS WILL BE AUCTIONED *DON’T MISS THIS EVENT « BEST VALUE AUCTION HOUSE 5775 Marine Dr., West Vancouver (Fisherman’s Cove) LEARNING CAMPS AUGUST SPOTS STILL AVAILABLE Turn to Sussex's Back Page in Today’s Real Estate Section GET AS CLOSE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. SCIENCE WORLD PRESENTS # MOUNTAIN Mountain Gorilla. Few people in the world have ever seen these endangered creatures. Fewer still have been as close to one as you will be. as they eat, sleep, play and live their human-like existences. Up close and personal. on the giant OMNIMAX" dome screen with wrap- around OMNIMAX* Digital Sound. DAILY SHOWTIMES 11 am. to 5 pm, on the hour. SATURDAY EVENING SHOWTIMES 7&8pm. Open daily. Admission to Science World/ OMNIMAX’ Theatre available at the Science Work! box office up to 15 minutes prior to show- times, or in advance through TicketMaster at 280-4444. Film information 875-OMN} (6664). ON EXHIBIT AT SCIENCE WORLD: MUPPETS, MONSTERS & MAGIC